Just a Bipolar Cliché

Why some manic-depressives like myself sometimes feel like "just a bipolar cliché."

Life as a manic-depressive's so drab

and wearying at times; it's quite enough

to drag me down where I don't feel so tough.

When I'm manic I have the gift of gab;

at such times I wish I can take a cab

to the club, get drunk, and act like a rough;

but I forbade as I fear the state's rebuff;

so I behave again like rats in a lab.

My life's so meaningless to me it seems;

if I could I would end it right away,

but that'd be taking it to such extremes

and drama. Instead, I just read all day

and write poems of brighter, happier themes:

I swear--I'm just a bipolar cliché!

Reviews

[SleeplessVolcano]

Great writing! I struggle with this assumption also - the one that writing happy poems makes me feel better. I often feel worse, i.e. to tell myself I should feel better when I don't could be self-disceptive.....but I know what you mean. We need a balance, but that is hard to find. It is precisely that "rat in the lab" feeling, of when behavior is appropriate, yet we feel miserable, that one desires to prevent.

[Ngoc M. Nguyen]

I do hope that you find a balance and--with treatment such as therapy, the right meds that work for you, a stress-free (or stress-reduced) environment, and plenty of sleep and normal activities and some exercise--that you will find yourself feeling better. I, too, must follow this regimen in order to cope with my bipolar disorder and feel as well as I can. Also, time away from the craziness of life and daily demands is necessary in order to re-charge yourself and maintain your balance and sanity; but please, never isolate yourself from loved ones such as family, friends, and positive acquaintances--as you will discover that they are invaluable to your health and well-being. Continue to write and express yourself through your poems, stories, essays, songs, etc. (Even keeping a log or journal can be therapeutic.). Also, read a lot and expand your repertoire of literary and poetic skills and knowledge. Doing so will expand and enlarge your consciousness and self-esteem, and also immensely improve your writing and your poetry. Above all, when you feel bad or are going through extended moments of depression (i.e., "dysphoria," the opposite of euphoria) be honest to yourself and own it. Only then can you properly confront it and cope with it and find a way to turn it around to make it work for you rather than against you. One way of doing this is by reaching out to someone whom you trust and you know who loves you and has got your back in your times of need and/or crisis. Never be ashamed to ask for help when you need it (but make sure you ask of the right people; some people simply cannot deal with what we suffer from and will feel overwhelmed or even frightened). Well, I have said enough for now; except thank you so much for reading my poem and commenting on it and for sharing a glimpse of your struggle with manic-depression with me. I'll be thinking of you every time I log in (and come across your review and this poem of mine), and my spirit will be praying for you, as well. Ngoc Nguyen.