(untitled)

Dread fills me to the brim,
As my mind runs in circles
Imagining what my life would of been
Visualizing those I leave behind,
As metal closes in on me,
And I lay neatly on the ground, watching from above
Giving my last goodbye

Reviews

[Elwyn]

This is... well, dark. I liked the line, "And I lay neatly on the ground, watching from above". I imagine the narrator physically laying on the ground as a body, and their spirit (so to speak) watching. And the closing line confirms they are dead. This poem is beautifully constructed and very creepy as well as thought provoking.

[Moon]

The panic is strongly felt. Sadness, is what I feel after reading this piece. Nice poem Dark.

[Serena]

Thanks. I was just playing around with words and sentences and this is the product of my boredom :) glad emotions were brought bout from my poem :)

[Moon]

No problem :)