Angelus Mortis

Angelus Mortis

A Poem by Mariya
"

This piece is part of my appreciations to morbidity and ghoulish tendencies.

"


Wake me 
from my slumber
Call my name 
Forsake not 
my grave

Sing a sweet 
lachrymose lullaby

Let darkness 
take over
Risen corpses 
in glee
My soul 
be enslaved

© 2014 Mariya


Author's Note

Mariya
This is my first post and it's all too shaky. Please read on, comments are appreciated.

My Review

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Featured Review

I'm going to just say revise this a bit... for readability... something like this:

Wake me
from my slumber
Call my name
Forsake not
my grave

Sing a sweet
lachrymose lullaby

Let darkness
take over
Risen corpses
in glee
My soul
be enslaved

Gives the verse, a sense of flow and the reader can ease into the write... IMPO... of course... you can do whatever you like... your words...


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mariya

10 Years Ago

Now that's a good recommendation. I have to agree, this one is a bit unpolished. I'm still in the pr.. read more



Reviews

Short but powerful...Bravo..................:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Nice combination of words. It sounds alright thus far. My only humble recommendation is that the last line be inserted closer to the second line since the final words rhyme. I am looking forward to the polishing and extension of this piece. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mariya

10 Years Ago

Thank you. I'm gonna work on that note.
Intriguing. Guess I'm gonna read more of you.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mariya

10 Years Ago

lol, not sure if "the heat" really swells but yea, there goes nothing. :D
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Androglossia

10 Years Ago

"heat" can be subjective & the mind is creative so.. lol i'm kidding. Nuf bout the heat:)
<.. read more
Very gothic, reminded me of metal lyrics. I could imagine screaming these words.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mariya

10 Years Ago

Smiles smiles. Thanks Samuel. Never thought of this one as a metal song verse. But now that you've m.. read more
Samuel Jack

10 Years Ago

Let the power of rock guide your dark heart oh Queen of the night!!
Mariya

10 Years Ago

Let's roll! :D m/
This piece takes me to the environment of grave and frightens me.
Nice work.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

zainul

10 Years Ago

You are most welcome.:)
I agree with you that Death is as interesting as life.
You may r.. read more
Mariya

10 Years Ago

Will do. :)
zainul

10 Years Ago

:)
Short but interesting. Certainly gives a mournful feel or perhaps even a goth feel of a vampire turning a victim. I like it and hope to see more of your writing, keep it up. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mariya

10 Years Ago

Thanks Matt Yea, I am that obvious heh. I'm fascinated with the Gothic subculture. Hope to see more .. read more
I'm going to just say revise this a bit... for readability... something like this:

Wake me
from my slumber
Call my name
Forsake not
my grave

Sing a sweet
lachrymose lullaby

Let darkness
take over
Risen corpses
in glee
My soul
be enslaved

Gives the verse, a sense of flow and the reader can ease into the write... IMPO... of course... you can do whatever you like... your words...


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mariya

10 Years Ago

Now that's a good recommendation. I have to agree, this one is a bit unpolished. I'm still in the pr.. read more

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Stats

203 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on June 14, 2013
Last Updated on May 30, 2014
Tags: angels, death

Author

Mariya
Mariya

Naga City, Philippines



About
I'm into morbidity, mysticism and the arts. I sleep with my eyes open (hah! beat that!) Need I say more? more..

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I Am I Am

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