Five Finger Recovery: What should my recovery look like?

May 19, 2014: Five Finger Recovery: What should my recovery look like? Please "Share" this new Precious Prodigal Post: http://bit.ly/1j2ATCG

3 John 1:2 “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”

We’ve been looking at five-finger recovery. We’ve discovered that God needs to come first and that we need recovery as much as our prodigal does. We’ve addressed the fact that recovery is an ongoing process, and we’ve looked at options for getting help and for helping ourselves. So what does that recovery look like? How can I know whether I’m growing?

Evidence of recovery might be that we are learning to love and be gentle with ourselves. Saying harsh, brutal things to and about ourselves isn’t recovery. People in recovery are also learning how to love others in a healthy way without losing themselves or their own identity. They know where they begin and the other person ends. They have healthy boundaries for themselves and respect the boundaries of others.

People in recovery don’t look for someone to blame. They take ownership of their part of a situation without trying to make others see their part. They are beginning to forgive others and themselves. They’re not trying to control people, places and things. They are learning the only people they can change are themselves. They’re also learning to let other people make their own choices and face the consequences of those choices.

Recovery might appear as a serene acceptance of the things we can’t change. It might mean letting go of shame and accepting ourselves as we are until God begins to change us. It’s understanding that God needs to change others too and that it’s His job, not ours, to do that. It’s learning to recognize when we’re being controlling and letting go as soon as we see it.

Being in recovery doesn’t mean there won’t be tears, but there will be laughter too. There might be sorrow, but there will also be joy and hope. People who are working a program of recovery try to reach out to others without a hidden agenda. When they do something for another person, they do it “for fun and for free” and without an emotional price tag.

As people grow in recovery, they find they are not as full of fear as they used to be. And when they are afraid, they have tools to handle it: a group, a friend or a sponsor to share it with and a relationship with God who can replace that fear with faith. As they gain courage from God and from others, they will begin to see their own potential to grow, to change, and to succeed.

Self-pity won’t rule their lives, and they will be able to feel whatever they feel without being a slave to those feelings. They will acknowledge that bad things do happen, but those things don’t have to steal their joy. Eventually, they will feel gratitude and see the wonder in each day even if it isn’t a wonderful day.

It sounds almost too good to be true, doesn’t it? And you may not have all these things in your life today…you may not ever have all of them all the time. But this kind of freedom, this kind of hope, this kind of joy is a promise to those of us who are willing to do the hard work of recovery.

Challenge for Today: Can you, just for today, take a look at your recovery and see where you need to grow?