Pure Fun Limericks

One non-poet Ordovician

Whose brain cells seem in attrition

Puts out selfies, calls them Art

A pure narcissistic fart

Vain f****t needs a cosmetician

A swine with a face like a whine

Bought himself a hoe as valentine

But it slipped off her tongue

Ol’ sod was not too well hung

The swine turned into Frankenstein

An air-headed aunt from Delhi

Had a nose like a blob of jelly

She opted for a nose-job

But they gave her a door knob

Look look! She’s now on the telly!

Author's Note

Lmao...Thanks

Reviews

[barleygirl]

You are really going orbital now! I was going to say the first one is best, but then I felt that way as I read each one! #1 -- I really marvel at all the narcissitic people who post selfie after selfie on FB . . . are they offering us art or ego farts? #2 -- only a sassy senorita makes fun of those with wimpy dicks . . . bravo to your bravery! #3 -- the nose job & door knob . . . just too witty for another ditty! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thanks Margie! The 2nd limerick was inspired by your Valentine's Day Limericks! I loved those and quickly wrote this piece! Hurray for all the limericky inspiration flowing around! :))))

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear Ditzy for making me laugh on a cold wet day under lockdown. Too miserable to consider working in the garden. You find me having a cuppa, sitting in front of the fire and enjoying your little limericks. The air headed aunt from Delhi, is top of my list. Have some treats fav Kat...........You have raised my spirits.


Chris

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Whoa! Thank you thank you dear Chris! Nothing better than some laughs to shake away the cold! I know how cold it must feel outside. We had a bad cold spell here too. Lasted a week and I did nothing but stay buried in my blankets! That sounds like a lovely, toasty fire and cuppa! Enjoy! 😸💕

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear Ditzy and I have my own little tortoiseshell keeping me company. Cuddling up nicely. She is. Keep warm and safe.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

You too my lovely friend....💕

[AJNJ]

These are bloody funny. You can be hilariously cruel kitty. But I love you always! Lol.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thanks dear AJ. The love we share is mutual as are the gripes lol. Don't hick too hard tonight at the club.

[Franky]

I love these! Funny ... Funny

Nicely done

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thank you Frankie :)

[Marina]

I bet you are lolololololololing quite loudly, Dhara! Your sense of naughtiness always shines forth from your limericks and these three are no different. Your sharp, witty lines are brilliant to read and always fun and made more enjoyable by your appropriate choice of pictures. Three very interesting characters created and lambasted with your fine wit! 💛

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thanks my lovely friend. Being a bad cat I just let me natural naughty flow through. I will write you some limericks whenever you wish. Just ping me anytime. 😸💕

[Paul Bell]

You just know Ordovician should be running the country, tweeting all day, bombing unsuspecting countries by night. Then he meets your mad aunt from Delhi, who crime watch have put on the telly. This is a match made in hell, what could go wrong, pray tell. Ordovician's advisor, Frank Stein, a right b*****d you've ever seen. He realizes this airhead from Delhi could scupper his world domination, plugging himself into the mains forgetting to put on his wellies. This sent him into orbit screaming profanities, cursing the day that Delhi airhead entered his surgery. He laughed like f**k when he stuck on that knob, not realizing she owned the power station big Ace, that was sending him deeper and deeper into f*****g space.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Ordovician has turned out to be a mafia kingpin. He has put out a contract on the mad aunt from Delhi because she has got a microchip inserted in her nose and it has the code to the Nuclear Button which has fallen into Frankenstein's hand. This match made in hell will end the world as we know it and turn it into an exclusive market for toilet paper. What Ordovician doesn't know is that all his selfies are programmed to explode in his face and blow him off to f*****g space where he will be left orbiting the Penus of Venus as an eternal door knob.

Thanks for the lovely flight you sent me off on! Ping me anytime for a collaboration, dear Paul! 😺💕

[Paul Bell]

Whan an epitaph. I will send you through something half finished, well actually, that could be most of my writing. lol