27 seconds

Every time I see your face

you look less and less like the man I knew.

be it the self loathing indifference in your eyes or the beard

I can't say, per se, what it is about you

but your face is not the one I used to see when we plotted our schemes together.

Maybe I am too hurt to tell the difference, 

Perhaps I don't see that you have never been who I made you out to be

or maybe I am just too healed to keep from realizing

that you never really were the one I wanted.

Either way.

I called my friend this morning 

to tell her about the dream i had last night

where you were in kissing your lover in front of me while we watched a movie.

I asked you how you could go back to her after all the words  you said

and you just shook your head and looked down, saying, "She could never be you and Chicago is a world away."

I whispered, telepathically to my friend, that I couldn't hold on to you anymore

but i hated to let go

She told me to drink water and breathe

and I tried to but all that happened was I started crying

Tears and screams for a face that I can't see anymore when I look at you.

This lasted 27 seconds and then I got on the train.

All this before my morning coffee. 

In the midst of the mist of the 2nd of November

2000 miles away from where you were asleep in arms that aren't mine.

Thursday.