Ice Cream

Ice Cream

A Poem by Psykolabe

Try another flavour?
Take another spoon?

Don't even have to sign a waiver,
Just tell us if it's good.

Pick out your favorite,
After you try them all.

Come back and get it,
Hopefully it wont be gone!

Ah, delicious, no?
Here, here, try some more!

Ah, take that one to go will you?
What a tasty flavour to adore!

Favorite Flavor 's what you say?
You sure you havent tried these all before?

Whats that? Pay me for dropping some on the floor?

No it's okay, you can just go out the door.


 

I tell no lie! It really is all free!
But, just between you and me,

I know you'll be back in a day or two.
And another flavour I'll be givin' to you.

© 2010 Psykolabe


Author's Note

Psykolabe
The rhythm breaks in and out, sorry.

My Review

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Featured Review

Cute imagery in this piece, I liked the concept of it but the flow and rhythm was really rough to get through and didn't match the cute, sweet, bubbly feeling behind the ice cream imagery. The flow and rhythm should lure you in like the ice cream of this poetry to keep you coming back for more. Sadly it didn't do that for me.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

While the rhythm does change, the words are well written and it has a somewhat haunting yet childish and bright leer to it.

I know you'll be back in a day or two.
And another flavour I'll be givin' to you.

Well done.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I really throughly enjoyed this write.
I thought it was cute as well.
Excellent write.

100/100

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


Cute imagery in this piece, I liked the concept of it but the flow and rhythm was really rough to get through and didn't match the cute, sweet, bubbly feeling behind the ice cream imagery. The flow and rhythm should lure you in like the ice cream of this poetry to keep you coming back for more. Sadly it didn't do that for me.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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500 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 8, 2010
Last Updated on June 8, 2010
Tags: Ice Cream, Ice, Cream, Man, Poem, Short
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