Flaws

“…I’ve never quite been able to rid myself of the fear of being alone. It’s an innate feeling. I don’t think it ever goes away. But it’s made me who I am today, and for that, I am grateful.” Meggie Royer

I put on a brave face, most of the time. Or at least a face that I think is courageous. No one knows how very little they know about me, my friends may as well be strangers. That’s a pretty lonely feeling.

I do not trust other people. I haven’t even been seriously hurt by others in the past, but I don’t fancy opening up to people. It’s not about vulnerability; it’s about survival.

In the back of my cluttered noggin, I know that I’m difficult to love. I’m a puzzle to my mother. How can I even entertain the thought of some boy coming along and wanting to spend his days with me?

I’m not trying to romanticize any of these things. It is not my goal to invoke pity.

My fatal flaw? I’m infatuated with the ideas of people. Many become dull, lifeless, tired when you truly begin to know them. The best have that little spark that keeps you on your toes.

“It’s an innate feeling.”  Do many others feel this way? This aching loneliness that never ceases, no matter how happy and content you are with yourself and your surroundings? How does one fill this void? Let me continue my cotton candy daydreams filled with shallow friends and chewed off laughter if there is no cure.

Author's Note

Once again this is pretty old, but I wanted to put something up while I work on some new stuff. :-)

Reviews

[Relic]

I've been down the same road at times. It feels like this type of feeling will never end or find completion. May here feel this way, that's why a lot of them write. Its a way of connecting with like-minded people.

Nice writing.

[deleted]

I kinda of feel the same at times too:) Nice write.

[krishna]

honest opinions on self.. quite confident of being yourself..its agreat thing to know ones value..

[Glen Yumang Manese]

this seems to wander...as a I read the narrative...
the questions and answers...
a finding of one's self...
sets into pace within the lines..
as you say this was an older write...
I'm sure things are quite different now...
than what this write was saying then...

[A. Amos]

I truly enjoy this short tale of yours my friend, various shades of life you discussed in such a short summary. That for me is pure stroke of genius and what was true essence in whole tale was below line...

"I don’t fancy opening up to people. It’s not about vulnerability; it’s about survival."

Repect!

[Kristen]

Oh, thank you so much! I appreciate the kind words.

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome