Reflekshuns

Reflecting on my early-mid teens today...

Youth dwindles before a brightly lit screen,

Teenage summers spent inside a dark, cool room.

Trying to search for any sort of attention,

That a stranger halfway across the world can lend.

Eyes burning,

Skin crawling, 

She doesn’t know how to proceed.

A grave mistake,

Only time will take

The sting out of those memories.

An overcooked maturity forced early,

Too many facets of a fresh soul.

People now see her as well-adjusted;

Oh, if you truly knew…

Author's Note

This is the first poem I've written in a LONG time, not sure if I still have it. Leave me some thoughts.

Reviews

[Lost, n'MT]

I didn't even start reading yet, but even your titles are clever which I am also a stickler for besides unforced good flowing rhyme schemes. Just reading your pieces is inspiring me to want to write again which I haven't done in years... thank you for that.

As for the piece... I have to admit I'm a bit taken by just how much I am relating to reading each of your pieces...

Three stanzas, 14 lines, yet you hit so many emotions that all came rushing back to me as I read each line. I a big believer that great pain makes for great writing, and I fear just how much pain went into writing these pieces. Don't get me wrong, I've read more violent, self-destructive, and downright revolting and graphic pieces (both good, bad, an average), but your pieces aren't go for any 'shock factor" or deliberately morbid like other writings I have read. When I read your pieces, it's as if I am feeling EXACTLY what you're depicted (which you did beautiful by the way, the words, the flow, and the rhymes are again extremely well done), but it's the emotion you capture in just a few lines that's left me in awe. I think all of what I mentioned above is what makes for a great write/story tellers and makes for a compelling and powerful depiction that leaves the reader (or at least me) touched by each word and every line. I truly believe you have a gift. Whether you're just a great writer who writes great pieces, or whether you're someone whom has suffered a lot and found a way to channel that energy and pain into beautiful pieces such as these and the other two I've read.... no matter the case, it's truly a gift and blessing that I am sure sometimes must feel like a curse. Gender makes no difference, I both understand and have felt the pain in your pieces. I haven't been able to express it as eloquently as you have (you make it seem effortless), but I'd imagine a lot of time and energy goes into each piece to where you sometimes end up feeling drained. Maybe I way off base or you don't relate to where I am coming from, but I totally understand and can totally feel what you're expressing in each piece I've read.

I realize that these type of poetry isn't for everyone, and there's actually somebody people who don't even like rhymes in poetry, but not even those people can take away from the raw emotion and your ability to create art such as this. I personally love it, even though I wish for no one to experience the kind of pain and experiences required to write experiences like these, but it goes back to being a blessing/curse. Consider these pieces the blessings. Even if they haven't or may not inspire yourself, I promise you that they have or will inspire others and that's truly a gift to be shared with the world. Considered me impressed, inspired, and thankful to have come across your writings. I tend to wear my hear on my sleep as you can probably tell, but I honestly was just going to read one of your pieces and then go distract myself, but I just couldn't stop reading, and it's been so long since I've read multiple pieces like this. Thank you for this, I truly feel touched and privileged to have read these pieces. Please don't stop.

[Kristen]

"Misery inspires" from a Silversun Pickups song carried me through a lot of interesting things. Great pain does make great writing. And yes, I attempted shock factor but found it was elusive and not effective in previous pieces. As you know, I haven't written in a while but I'm incredibly thankful that you think I have a gift. The constant self-doubt does a job on whether I should write/publish/etc.

The fact that something I wrote could potentially impact or inspire someone will continue to be beyond my comprehension. Thank you. Ironically enough, there are no words for me to type on this ol' keyboard that can define exactly how powerful your statements are. Thank you.

[Lost, n'MT]

I'm not surprised you don't set it given we seem to be pretty like-minded, but I am not convinced that you will never see it, and I hope that you one day believe it. Regardless of where trying to get published leads, self-doubt is definitely the worst reason not to try because you never what is possible. You didn't think your writing could ever impact anyone, and I'm living proof that you were incorrect in your self-doubt. There's no telling how much else your self-doubt is preventing you from accomplishing whether it be becoming a professional or write or embarking on another journey or passion you have that self-doubt has also kept you from pursuing.

Your reaction means a lot and brings a smile to my face, I hope you (and myself for that matter) overcome our self-doubt. That's no telling what we can accomplish, who we can touch, or just what we can offer to this world. You're welcome. : )

[Ov3R_sKiLl3D]

beautiful poem.... really enjoyed reading it.
keep writing :)

[Jamie]

Really good poem :) These were pretty much my mid teen years and it makes for a great poem :) Such a good read!

[Kristen]

Thank you so much!

[Jamie]

You're welcome :)

[Daydreamer]

The last stanza nailed it! An overcooked maturity forced early- 😍😍😍
And overall a very deep and well conveyed poem. I loved how the last stanza made me think of the teens who grow up too early from the pain they get to taste in their early brightest-supposed-to-be years of their lives! Plus, they get to keep switching between too many sentiments whilst pondering about life and keep rebuilding new thoughts as in "too many facets of a fresh soul"...
special writing 👱💜

[Kristen]

Thank you thank you! I really appreciate it.

[Clockwork]

Sometimes I think of poetry like I think about being a pitcher in baseball. You need to go other there and work on your pitches, build up your strength, get into your rhythm. That's why teams like the Sox have spring training. They go out there and practice in May, and they work up to being in the world series in November. I like this piece, and I would really like to see other ones from you after this one.

I like how you hint at the duality of the speaker in this poem. She dealt with the struggles of being a teen. She fought to find her identity, her self worth, and stumbled a little along the way. Others may gloss over those stumbles, and other may never guess she had them, but they are there. They make her who she is.

So I like how she has this alternative history that a reader really has to look for to understand. Well done with this one, and I hope you keep writing :-)

[Kristen]

Thank you so much! I always enjoy reading how others interpret my words and I'm glad you liked it!

[Frontier]

Very dark and ominous, while at the same time keeping the mystery. The internet is filled with temptations and I'm glad I was a teen before the internet craze was at its apex.

[Kristen]

It's definitely a different experience, growing up with the internet vs. not. Thanks for your insight!

[Pól]

Its good
................

[Kristen]

Thank you Paulo!

[Stephen]

Your now writing like an author ... because every writer first writes about his rights, talk, breathe and walk with the rights .. here your emotions are reflecting a mirror of sinister life where people are stuck and finding a way to get off ASAP .. because this wicked world's eating them day-by-day and their soul's getting impure little-by-little but the people change their thoughts and thinking to look right across the world then may be, the wicked world won't be anymore wicked cause ...it's all livings who're the real creators of world. Well done for your poem, here you done a very cool job bleeding your thoughts and painted 'em into the poetic words.

[Kristen]

Thank you so much, Stephen!

[Stephen]

Your welcome, Kristy. Hey, how you've been? I haven't seen you over the past few days? Been busy?

[Kristen]

I'm well! Yes, pretty busy, just finished up my spring semester of college.

[Stephen]

Sounds good! So, are you gonna write/upload something new?

[Kristen]

I'll be trying my best to, I've started a new job this week so I'm fairly occupied with that.

[Stephen]

Job? You meant ..you doing part time job??

[Kristen]

Yup! Part time job for the summer.

[Stephen]

Cool .. I love doing part time job but yet I can't .. but hope to do once in a life along with my college ;) It's a crazy awesome thing..isnt' it? :P

[Kristen]

Yes indeedy.

[@zeewhykay]

''Youth dwindles before a brightly lit screen''

As soon as I read that line, I knew this was going to be more than just GOOD.
I dunno if the alliteration was meant to be there, either way, this piece flows very well when I read it in my head.

We might think we grow older and more mature, but we always keep that vulnerability, whether we've convinced ourselves we are ''well-adjusted''.

Cheers !

[Kristen]

Thank you, I appreciate the kind words. The alliteration actually wasn't on purpose, but I think it works well! I agree with your bit on maturity; a quote by Dylan Moran sums it up for me, I think... "You're not really an adult at all. You're just a tall child holding a beer, having a conversation you don't understand."

Thanks for the review!

[lolitaj14]

I like this poem. Particularly because I think many teenagers would relate to this. The first stanza is definitely the best I think. It reminds me of that song 'A world alone' by Lorde - "maybe the internet raised us."

[Kristen]

Thank you so much! Yes, I never made that connection but I do love Lorde and that song! Thanks again.