Chapter 2

Jessie wonders what she did to put the target on her back.

 

Chapter Two

 

The next morning I knew something wasn't right when I woke up. I just felt like something bad would going to happen or it already happened. I kicked my blankets off my body and inspected everything, my antique ivory bookshelf, dresser, CD collection, and poster collage along my walls. Everything is still in the same place as I had it last night and the days before that.

I showered, Tristan stood outside the door to prevent anyone from bothering me, and it’s happened a year ago that had to be the most humiliating moment of my life. I never got a real apology from Dakota I don't know if I'll ever forgive him for dumping a handful of worms and dirt in the tub and laughing at me when I screamed because I didn't know where it was coming from. Mom still hasn't forgiven him for that, he killed some of her plants by digging up their roots. Today was silent, entirely too quiet and I know they have something planned for me. I can't stand playing the waiting game.

I decided to dress like a checkerboard, there's a red dragon surrounded by a plain black background on my shirt and my capris are red. While I examined myself in the mirror of my room, I wondered if I brought the bullying on myself. My mom, although she is old school, is the only one who understands my Gothic tendencies when it comes to music and clothes. Tristan doesn't mind it but he's not that into it, he's more of a rocker type, but both genres can cross boundaries and they often do. Maybe I'm singling myself out from everyone else; maybe I should try to fit in with the rest of the family. I'd miss being my true self, but maybe it's worth it, even if it means acceptance from my siblings.

Breakfast, for me, consisted of microwavable French toast since I didn't feel like making actual French toast. I ate with Tristan; we do everything together since I am defenseless against Mara, Claire, and Dakota. We also are inseparable outside the house even though he's two years younger than I am we get along quite well.

My mother has to drive us to school before leaving for work; they pick on us even while we're out in public. Most kids hate the bus, but when people’s drama force you off the bus and away from your bus stop you grow to miss it. Mara, Dakota, and Claire found out a few months ago and they were pissed. They screamed at mom, they wanted to know why she refused to drive them to school.

"After the last incident with the both of you, I'm not allowing Jessie or Tristan to be alone with you unless necessary. That's why you have to take the bus and I have to drive them to school. I don't care how long you scream and cry over it I will not tolerate you telling your friends to show up at the bus stop and harass them!"

"They did that on their own! We didn't tell them to do anything!" Mara stomped her foot and tried to sound like she was deeply hurt by this.

"Your friends hardly know Jessie or Tristan well enough to hate them and want to throw egg at them as they're getting on the bus Mara!"

"Yes they do! They're always over here and they want nothing to do with her!" Dakota tried to defend Mara. She opened her mouth to talk again, but mom put her hand up to silence the both of them.

"No phones, no television, and no friends for the next month." She held out her hand expecting their cellphones but they didn't move.

"Two months, hand them over now."

"Why two months,” they asked in shock, like they didn’t know talking back to your mother wouldn’t get them in more trouble than they’re already in.

"Then I'll make it three months, hand them over now." She demanded and they reluctantly handed her their phones.

"This isn't fair!" Mara complained at she stormed out of the living room. I made the mistake of wanting food so I was walking towards the kitchen when Mara ran into me.
"I hate you!" She screamed and proceeded to punch me without caring where her fists landed. I had to go to the hospital because I blacked out and wouldn't wake up for quite a while.

 

All of that violence over a simple car ride to school... I think they're going to kill me before I turn twenty.

 

May 30^th 1999

Mara and Dakota recently got jobs, they're cashiers at shop-rite, and Mara has a second job, she works as a customer assistant at Wal-Mart’s electronics department even though she knows nothing about electronic devices. Next month they're opening their own bank accounts; their savings for their senior year of high school will sit there until needed. If they make enough money over the next two years that's where their college funds will go as well, I have to put up with their abuse for one more year and then they'll be gone, off to college for four years and the occasional visit home for the holidays, birthday nothing more, and nothing less. One more year couldn't come quicker.

* * *

School is the only place of escape, I don't see Claire that often and when we do see each other, she doesn't acknowledge my existence. It makes me happy to have time free of abuse. However, this is another source of the bullying, by no means are the rest of the Whitemire's stupid, we're a smart family, but I'm slightly smarter. I'm not a certified genius or anything but, I'm above the average IQ, I get the slightly harder classes, but I enjoy the challenge. For some reason that's not, a good thing and I should aim for grades lower than I'm capable of achieving. I should take the normal classes and not the advanced ones and the fact that I don't means I'm a show off, I'm bragging constantly about how smart I am, and I'm trying to win my parents over even though they love all their children equally the same.

"Good bye Jessica, have a good day." My mom said as I left the car.

"Bye mom, bye Tristan." I waved to them after I shut the door. The parade of busses were heading out of the school by the time my mom pulled away, I felt bad knowing she had to sit in that mess until she left the streets close to the school.

Riviera High School looks like a college campus, it kind of has to since it takes in two other towns that aren't big enough for their own high school. It's very open spaced and we can to cross the courtyards to get to the other side of the school if necessary. We can eat lunch outside although I hardly ever venture to the picnic area, I like eating inside with my small group of friends.

Aileen, Natasha, Rose, and Trisha, my four main friends and have been so since I moved here. I have most of my classes with Trisha and Aileen, and some of the electives with Aileen and Natasha, but we're all in the same gym class.

"So why did Mara attack you last night?" Aileen asked in shock, even though she's heard these stories a million times. We've stopped playing badminton all together, our arms are sore and neither of us are very athletic, and we also don't care for gym, as long as we're passing, we're happy.

"Don't look so surprised Aileen, it's not like they don't hit me over something every other day. I don't know why Mara decided to bother me, I was minding my own business writing in my notebook and she kicked my door open. She just wanted to f**k with me but I wouldn't let her, not without a fight."

"What is their problem? My parents would have called the cops by now." Natasha sighed smacking the ball up in the air with the paddle. "Maybe they need a good beating... I know if I pulled this on my brother I'd have my a*s handed to me, by my brother and my parents."

"Natasha they're way passed that, what good will slapping them around do?"

"I don't know, put them in their place, teach them not to touch you or they can expect a black eye?"

"No they won't fall for it. They'll go stay with a friend for the night if they got hit by either parent."

Our gym teacher, Mrs. Richardson, noticed we stopped playing and told us to sit on the side so someone else could play. I hate her; she's always in a bitchy mood and feels the need to take it out on everyone... especially us.

I've tried to be polite and tell her that she's being rude and needs to stop but she wrote me up for it... she tried to have me suspended. My mom came to my rescue and I got off without any disciplinary action.

"You should come over today, and you can bring Tristan too, you know my parents love you guys." Aileen said with puppy dog eyes. I haven't hung out with her in a while; I sighed and thought about it for a moment.

"I guess so; I don't have anything else to do when I go home."

Aileen giggled, "Sleep over too?"

Natasha thought about something, and then added, "Actually we haven't had a Friend Day in a while. We should have one tonight. "

"Sounds like a plan to me." Trisha said as she took her purple hair tie out of her hair.

"You've been fixing your pony tail all period and it's driving me insane Trisha! Let me do it." Aileen took the hair tie from Trisha and proceeded to fix her hair even though there was nothing wrong with it to begin with. "I'm never letting you crimp your hair again if you're just going to hide it."

"Sorry Aileen, I'll ask you the next time I want to style my hair."

"Good," She smiled at her once she'd finished her hair. "Now I have blonde hair all over my brush and it'll never go away for days... I just cleaned this too."

"Well sorry for my genetics deciding to have blonde hair." Trisha apologized sarcastically.

Aileen handed her hairbrush to Trisha and told her to take her hair out of the bristles.

* * *

 

I had to run home to grab a bag for my clothes and other nightly items as quickly as possible. I didn’t need much when it came to clothes and the bathroom isn’t too far from my room. I was ready in less than fifteen minutes.

Mara and Dakota arrived home by the time I finished packing my sleepover bag. I ironed on a Celtic knot a year ago, permanently marking it so no one could steal it. I like Celtic knots; I think they’re a unique decoration in a world so far from anything Celtic.

“Where are you going?” Mara asked sitting on the sofa with Dakota.

“A great place called mind your own business.” I said half to myself, Dakota threw a small decorative pillow at my head. I nearly dropped my phone that I was texting Aileen with, and glared at Dakota once I picked it up. “What the hell was that for?”

“Don’t talk to her like that; answer her question with a real answer.”

“You degrade me all the time, I’m done trying to please you, and the last thing I’m doing is telling you where I’m going so you can show up and cause hell.”

Dakota stood up and placed the bowl of chips on the coffee table. I ran as fast as I could out of the house. I know it wouldn’t stop him from beating me, so I didn’t stop running until I got to Aileen’s house. I would have knocked but I didn’t have time to stop and wait for someone to answer the door. Her parents already knew about tonight and this weekend.

“Are you alright?” her mother asked startled by the absence of color in my face.

“I’ll be fine, I’m just sick of my older brother and sister constantly trying to hit me.” I sighed.

 

I didn't tell anyone else about what happened, I'm not bringing my drama over to Aileen's house. It's not needed here I put on a smile and tried to forget what happened. Aileen cooked spaghetti mixed with onions and garlic for dinner, I think she’s the only fifteen year old I know that likes that combination. She put some aside for the sauce so who ever wanted it with no onions and garlic could have some. Her parents aren’t that crazy for fried spaghetti but she had a craving for it.

“Did they start something with you before you got here Jess?” Natasha asked noticing I hardly said a word since I got here.

“They’re always starting crap.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing, they’re running out of meaningful insults so they’re talking out of their a*s.”

“You’re bothered by their s**t talking; I can see it on your face.”

“I can’t wait until they go to college; I want them to leave tomorrow.”

“Hey I know what will cheer you up!” Trisha said, her eyes lit up and I can’t remember the last time she got this excited about showing me something. She forgot to push out her chair all the way, before she got up and ran to Aileen’s room and she nearly fell flat on her face.

Aileen helped Trisha up, we thought she was crying, “I’m okay, I promise, I’m okay.” She said through her giggles.

“Trisha, push out the chair next time you decide to run somewhere!” Aileen’s mom sighed relieved Trisha wasn’t hurt, but irritated from the brief scare. Trisha nodded then ran off to Aileen’s room, but came back a second later. I resumed eating when a CD floated in front of my face.

“My cousin Adam, the one who lives in Pennsylvania, he’s into all the unknown and local bands on both minor and major record labels, he stumbled across these guys and thought you or your brother might like them.” She explained while pulling out her hair tie for what seemed like the millionth time today.

“Breaking Benjamin,” I read the name out loud, it’s not an album but and EP, and I think Tristan would like this band more than I would. I’ll give it a listen once I get home. “Thanks Trisha, but I’m not sure how this is supposed to make me feel better.”

“You can add it to your collection!”

“I only collect the CDs I like; then again I could give it to Tristan if I don’t like it.”

“I just said that silly-pants!”

“You still call people silly-pants Trisha?” Natasha asked nearly inhaling spaghetti.

“Hey it’s my phrase and I will use it for as long as I like.” She stuck her tongue out at Natasha.

 

* * *

 

 

I didn’t give the CD another thought until almost a week later. Dakota seemed extra bitchy and as usual, the only person he wants to take his anger out on has to be me. I managed to avoid him during the morning since he left early for the bus, but he was already home when I walked in the door. I had no other choice but to face him.

“Mom and dad let you out of the house looking like that?” He asked the second I walked in the house.

“I look fine,” I mumbled dreading the never-ending walk to the stairs. The hallway seems to get longer every day, running only makes things worse. There’s nothing wrong with my clothes, unless Dakota decided that wearing a T-shirt jean skirt and leggings automatically makes me a s**t.

“Is that what mom told you this morning to make you feel better about yourself?” He asked in a baby voice.

“No, I’m perfectly capable of picking out my clothes in the morning! Stop being an a*****e about it Dakota I just got home and I’m sick of you!” I yelled at him with tears in my eyes, I ran to my room before he had a chance to chase me up the stairs. I made sure my door locked before collapsing on my bed, I wanted to cry but if he heard me, he’d sit outside my door and make fun of me even more, so I dug through my mini CD shelf for something to blast to drown out my crying.

I always have my radio’s CD player on shuffle I mute it so I don’t hear whatever song plays before I can press shuffle if it somehow changes. I like the suspense of not knowing which song will play first especially with new music. The CD player shuffled to the third song, “Polyamourus” if my ears could smile they’d light up the darkest corners of outer space. I fell in love with the song after the first minute of listening to it. I wanted to put it on repeat but I had to listen to the rest of the EP.

Author's Note

Here's chapter two and I've been thinking this story over I plan on changing it soon.