Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

 

December 25th 2003

Its Christmas morning and I'm too scared to go downstairs. They're both supposed to be here but I don't want to see them. I honestly hate my parents for letting them back; I've never felt so betrayed in my life. I'm not leaving my room, I don't care how offensive it is to everyone else, Mara broke my wrist and Dakota beat me without the slightest care if it killed me. He looked me dead in the eyes and said he'd do it again if Mara didn't come back for Christmas! What if she decided on her own accord to not show up? It would still be my fault and he'd beat me again! He'll do it worse than the last time too!

I looked at the clock sitting on my nightstand; it's almost eight in the morning. An hour ago, Tabby and Odhran knocked on my door to inform me that Santa came and we have presents. I won't be getting those presents for quite a while. I walked over to my mirror and looked at the bruises again, they're not as bad as they were the other day but they're still visible. I hate it; I want it to go away. I curled up in the window seat and tossed some of the pillows onto my bed since I only needed one to lean on and there are a million of them for decoration purposes of course. I looked out at the sparkling snow covering the backyard; the cold glass from the window cooled my face. I plan on staying here in silence all day, no one to yell at me, hit me, or hurt me because I'm alone in my room.

 

Sitting by the window in a short-sleeved pajama shirt and pants left me slightly chilly. I pulled the small blanket off the floor where it fell sometime last night and wrapped it around my body. Once I'd gotten comfy, my phone rang on the nightstand. It's probably Tristan, he's probably thinking he can convince me to go downstairs, but I'm not going anywhere. I was ready to tell him that they'll have to spend Christmas without me when I noticed the number on my phone was Ben's number, not Tristan.

"Morning Ben," I smiled relieved to talk to him again.

"Hey Jessie, I wasn't sure if you were awake or not but I called to say Merry Christmas."

He knew how miserable this day would be for me, I wish he could be here right now but he's still stuck in Portland with delayed flights to New York. I told him to take that flight, but he said that there are probably a billion people in New York for the holidays as well as a million people stranded at the airports. If he made it to one of the airports in New York, he'd end up stuck there over night and he wants to stay in the hotel a little longer.

"Thanks Ben, I plan on staying in my room all day, I don't want to see either of those two pieces of crap. I'm not chancing it either if I stay in my room with the door locked they can't touch me."

"Did you ever ask your parents if they told Mara and Dakota they could come back?"

"I felt sick every time I tried to think about it, so I never asked."

"Well you should ask someone if they're home, I would have gone insane by now from not knowing if they were in the house. Hell I'm going insane thinking about it!"

"Don't worry about it Ben. I'll be fine."

"Jessie I've seen your Dad, if Dakota's hands are as big as Mingan's hands it's going to take a lot of convincing to ease the worry out of me."

"Well I just told you I plan on spending the day in my room. I'm safe here."

"I'm still going to worry about you."

"Come visit me, if you can make it down here but don’t do that if the roads are bad."

"Babe, the roads are fine and you know they're fine if I'm telling you they're fine."

"What about black ice?"

"I heard the roads were heavily salted and I saw a bunch of trucks out last night. I see what I can do, but after breakfast because I'm starving."

"Go get food and then text me later."

"I'll do that, bye Jess."

"Bye Ben," I wanted to hug him, curl up in his lap like I did that night we were stuck in his hotel with a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows topped with whipped cream and a light drizzle of caramel on top of the whipped cream. If not hot chocolate than a warm cup of tea will work, we have a whole cabinet dedicated to herbal tea and regular tea. I want some so badly right now.

 

* * *

 

My mom ventured up to my room at eight thirty, I let her in because she's my mom, even though I still wanted to scream thinking about the possibility they let Mara and Dakota back. When I opened the door I couldn't help but smile, she brought me peppermint tea and a slice of homemade crumb cake.

"Good morning beautiful." She said walking into my room. I locked the door behind her and double-checked it while she put the makeshift tray down on my nightstand.

"Good morning," I said sitting down on my bed; she sat next to me and placed her arm around me. Her hair still tied up in a messy bun, she hasn't had time to dress for the day.

"Are they still opening presents?"

"I wouldn't let anyone touch a present until I was sure you weren't coming downstairs." She said and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm not coming out of my room today, so don't worry about me."

"Don't let them scare you like that~"

"Mom you didn't see the look in his eyes! He'll kill me and Mara will make damn sure that happens!"

"They're not here sweetie."

"What do you mean they're not here?"

"Neither of them showed up, we called them and informed them if they wish to pick up their presents then they are allowed to do just that and if they want to get food once dinner is served they can do that, but they're not allowed in the house all day long. They haven't showed up for their presents yet."

"But they'll be here for the food won't they?" I took a sip of the tea; I love the little kick adding a certain amount of honey ads to herbal tea.

"I don't know they haven't called us back they haven't contacted Claire either. You can go downstairs if you want to, and if they show up while you're downstairs they won't have any contact with you, one of us will hand them their desired items and they'll be gone in a blink of an eye."

"I don't ever want to see Dakota ever again." I put the cup back down and buried my head in my mom's shoulder.

 

* * *

 

I decided to be brave, at ten in the morning, I made the journey downstairs with my heart in my throat the entire time. I put the crappy concealer on before I left my room so the bruises were somewhat hidden. When I walked into the living room I was surprised when Tabby and Odhran hugged me, they got up from the table, ran and hugged me. They were happy to see me, they wanted me to be there eating with them and not hiding in my room miserable.

"I came down to return the stuff mom brought up." I hugged them back with my bad arm, but it doesn't hurt as much anymore. I felt pretty confident once I was actually down there interacting with everyone. I got to open my present consisting of new music, clothes, and writing supplies as well as some other things I didn't really ask for but I am happy I got them. Tristan and Tabby helped bring my stuff up to my room and they returned to their rooms to prepare for the day, I wasn't sure if I should change or not considering nobody knew if Mara or Dakota, or both of them would should up and when they would show up. I couldn't stay in my pajamas all day though, I had to change into something comfy. I opened up my dresser to the drawer I keep the dresses that don't have to hang on a hanger. I hate going through them, which is why I rarely wear those types of clothes. A dark gray sweater dress, perfect for my mood but not for Christmas, however, there's red on the top of the dress and it's not exactly gray but it looks like a mixture of a dark blue, black and gray. There's a twisting diamond design on the back and the front and I have a maroon leggings that match this dress but I also like the Heather Grey dress. I could put that one on later if today remains a family day without company. I threw on the gray and red dress with maroon leggings and ankle boots decorated with a rose on the outside.

I guess I am ready to face whatever the rest of the day throws at me.

 

Tristan knocked on my door just as I was about to leave. “Mara came back for presents and stuff. No sign of Dakota though…”

My heart dropped to the floor when I heard that. I guess I have to stay in my room now, or I thought I had to stay in here because I wanted to stay in my lavender sanctuary, but Tristan wouldn't let me. Despite my fear, he convinced me to go downstairs and hang out with everyone again.

 

Mara sat in the living room opening her presents when we arrived downstairs. I thought I was going to be sick. I had to get out of that room but I didn't know where to go.

"Do you know if Dakota is coming home or not?" I asked before thinking about the words running out of my mouth.

"I didn’t even know he left. Where did he go?" She asked without a snobby attitude she normally has when she talks to me.

"I don’t know…” I sighed I sat down on the smaller sofa and prayed he didn't show up.

“Hey, I’m sorry about your hand. I really didn’t mean to hurt you.” She apologized. I stared at her in shock.

“You really mean it? This isn’t some sick joke right?”

“No it’s not a joke I’ve done some thinking over the past few days and Holly set me straight… Holly of all people… Dakota’s a moron and pretty much the ‘ring leader’ and has been for a while.”

“I noticed…” I sighed. I don’t forgive her yet, I don’t know when I will forgive her and part of me wants to continue hating her. My head felt like I was on an airplane gaining altitude. I don't know what caused the random pressure on my head, but I closed my eyes and buried my head in a pillow hoping it would go away.