Fish

Dare I bite off a chunk of my flesh

To savor clandestine sense of being

Underneath the dermis that obscures it

So I may live a fulfilling existence?

 

Where does this fleck of life find

A vindicating home in a substantial plethora?

It is a curiosity that breathes grostequely.

Define me, twist me, throw me very far.

 

My orifice has yet been filled                                

With liquid purpose, I contain desires.              

Rendering me nonreactive and torpid               

Amongst the tubes that lay in Fate's inventory.

 

A rose is more a rose of essence

When blood is sent a-soaring from men who covet it.

From their veins, out their wounds and unto its petals,

Dripping crimson and splendor from lovers' daggers.

 

Am I a bloody rose, my dear friend?

Need I be more flawed, fatigued and fancier

To be more human, more loved?

Tell me what's mortality so I could comply.

 

Need I stride to the plaza and proclaim

My chimeric feats and statistics?

Or would I garner more worth

If I just lay prostrate and mind my business?

 

But you see, I am light albeit not bright.        

So minute and can only trickle down feebly.

I needn't go far or be preffered                       

So from my former whims I digress.             

 

Perhaps there's significance in pebbles,

Or in mere aspiration and being.

I am Frailty, you are Hope, they are Illusions.

We are TIME, flecks of LIFE and FISH.

 

Reviews

[Collect-Eye]

wow..this is amazing..

metaphysical integration at its finest..it isn't all that obscure;
it's just an examination of vulnerability w/ surprisingly consistent imagery, considering the abstract and sensitive subject matter.
To put it in simple, blunt terms--it's kind of a--"who am I to examine my own spirit while describing in fleshy terms?" sort of monologue

You've woven and layered together some serious food for thought about the secrets of the universe as they pertain to the sensitive individual..
good stuff, man..as per usual!

[TL Boehm]

There is this allusion to all the things that make us consider our "human" ness - love, sex, death - by your use of liquid imagery in this piece. It takes a serious read rather than a skim - so many of us around here tend to be skimmers of poetry instead of diving in....but then sometimes in the dive we drown. Well done.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Andrew,

Sorry for taking so long to reply to your read request. I looked at the poem almost immediately after getting the request, but I didn't know what to say. I've been rereading the poem every few days and still I am perplexed. I see plenty of rave reviews of this piece from other reviewers, but I haven't any idea what the poem means at all. The poem is too obscure for me. The only thing I do get from the poem is a sense of ennui, but I see nothing that I might link to "philosophical maxims from the Renaissance" and I don't think this is "an easy read", nor for me is it easy to relate to. Perhaps this is just me. So I would be grateful if you could educate me. A few short introductory lines of prose to introduce the poem might help me find my bearings, but currently I am lost. I'm not going to rate this yet since I don't know where I stand.

With greatest respect,

Rick

[Arwen Evenstar]

wow, really descriptive. i really liked it. gives me a new meaning to life.

[R J Askew]

Strong poem. I enjoyed the read. Like 'Fleck of life...' and '...throw me very far', alao 'Rendering me non-reactive and torpid'.
The best parts for me were the two verses beginning, 'A rose is more a rose...' and, especially, 'Need I stride to the plaza'.
I like how the voice of questing intelligence takes us out of ourselves and the familiar material reality of the early 21st century and into a different state 'To savour a clandestine sense of being' and there is pleasure in your choice of words and expression. More please!

[Fran Marie]

A rose is more a rose of essence

When blood is sent a-soaring from men who covet it.

From their veins, out their wounds and unto its petals,

Dripping crimson and splendor from lovers' daggers.



This verse in particular has that Shakespearian touch to it~the entire piece is

so well crafted and deeply expresses the human experiences of life and what

we make of it~ or what it makes of us~Superb pen my friend~

Fran Marie

[revenant21]

Very good. I enjoyed it all the way through it. Love your poems

[Spoken]

i dunno why i got the image of canned tuna when i read this, lol. I got a Shakespearan feel with the words as well.

stanzas 1, 4, and 5 are outstanding and my favorites definately. Really great, well put together lines that caught a spark in me. It's clear you really thought this out all the way down to the placement of the stanzas on the page. Intellegent, clever, and as philosophical as your inpsiration behind this piece.