Farewell, Lover

Inspired by a nameless foreign film, wherein two lovers part in a snowy-dreamscape. Never really written about love before…I gave it a shot anyway!

 

 

Breath deep the pine scented air,

Cold wind whips my hair,

Snow is falling everywhere.

  Time suspended,

  But our spell has ended.

Far from your arms, am I…

 

Sweet lips ache from parting kiss,

Warmth seeps from your embrace.

  I gaze, wrapped in memories,

after your vanishing figure…

 

Fate, guide you back one day.

For I long to dwell with you;

  To speak softly,

  And to touch fondly…

Author's Note

Enjoy! Any Comments Welcome : )

Reviews

[Jeffrey Gershom]

You may not have written about love before, but I can tell your heart has felt it. You have been able to put into words the the special feelings of a last loving moment: structured at the beginning...formal, then slowly drifting apart to a memory. Being a veteran, I can't help but to think how many couples have shared this moment when their spouse, man or woman, has had to leave for war.
Again, very good job, Paris. :))

[Geralyn Miller]

Great love and longing given such a delicate, yet powerful touch; you have written a fine work.

[Jonathan]

Very nice sharp like the wind
If the movie is the same as the
Picture then it is "house of flying daggers"

[Riss]

Very dreamy tone good job

[GTVile]

I like it. Admittedly, I wish you hade rhymed it through the whole thing, but that's just my personal preference. Its very sweet and very heartfelt. Most people could wish that things like this were written about them. You set the scene very well with the first stanza and then follow it up nicely with a description of the goings on. You really describe the type of parting that everyone experiences one way or another, but do so in a way that is wholly unique. Good job.

[Kandy]

For a first try, it's incredible. It's so well written even I can feel the longing of a lover. For such a small poem, it's emotions are powerful. Excellent Job.

[Aven]

this is actually one of my favorite movies... I have a whole collection of "nameless foreign films" hehe... very tender and loving poem!

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

This is beautiful~ It flows very well, and I can feel the emotions. Great job~

[Blossom]

I like itsflow. I like that. its brings your sense of smell, which is somewhat uncommon, but a nice change.

[Leech Wife]

The way you write.. so graceful. Very nice. I especially enjoyed the various scents you applied. I could smell the pine as I read this piece.

Wonderful!