The Truth Pt. 1

I think somewhere along in of my life

I might have loved you.

But the line between then and now

Is making it hard to decipher my feelings.

 

The clash between the wavelengths of our minds

Is deafening, but expected.

 

You are a hypocrite.

You are a fake.

“Do as I say, not as I do.”

That motto has never fit anyone else better.

 

On your exterior you are witty, you are nice,

You are everything everyone expects you to be.

Not a person would ever expect you of a cold heart.

 

They don’t know you like I do, though.

 

I’ve seen your temper flare so hot it’s burned my self esteem.

I’ve felt the gritty palm of your hand slap against my cheek,

The way you push me up against a wall to try and brake me.

But your words, they’re the worst.

 

You say things that you later apologize for,

Telling me you didn’t mean to say them

Or that it came out all wrong.  

 

But I know you mean them.

There’s no use in denying it.

 

You demand respect,

But I wonder if you realize that to get respect

You have to show it to the other as well.

 

You’ve messed me up so much.

You are the reason I don’t trust relationships,

Why I’m afraid of love.

 

Because every time I look at you,

I realize I don’t want a man like you.

The kind who is so hot and cold all the time.

 

The kind of man that puts everyone down;

If you’re not having a good day, nobody is.

I. DON’T. WANT. SOMEONE. LIKE YOU.

Most of the time all I want is your approval,

I’m practically begging* for it.

Why can’t you see that?

 

In all of my short years of life

I never thought I’d hate someone so much.

Especially my the man who is suppose to be

My ‘Dad’. 

Author's Note

*I used this line in my poem "Awful But True". I thought it fit pretty well so I went with it.

One of the first poems that's 100% true. Thoughts?