Nephilims and Monsters

WOW! I am amazed that you wrote about this subject! I will definitely be reading this. I sort of believe that the ancient gods were angels that mated with humans and created those mythical humans. I am not sure if you believe this, but I believe that there is truth in everything, even the incredible myths. Off to chapter 1!

Posted 12 Years Ago

I read the prologue and a bit of the first actual chapter. I think that one of the best things anyone can do is read your work out loud. You will catch a ton of mistakes in every area of writing, like voice, or grammatical errors and the tone of the writing. I think that the biggest thing you lack is the details, and I mean the setting, the surroundings of the characters, adding the descriptive language adds so much to the work. I am not really that big on spin offs of mythology purely because it is mythology and the hundreds of stories from the norse, egyptian and greeks cover pretty much everything and anything. You talk about the Titans but don't name them as such. the second sentence refers to Seth, and the likely hood that the reader knows you are refering to an Egyptian god rather than a person named Seth is questionable. Fully imerse the reader in the world you create. I can't say anything about grammar because I am not good at spotting those kinds of errors. Though I will say I had some trouble getting through it, I had to reread for clarity. You have some missing words, and jumbled sentences. Now all this can probably be fixed by going in and having someone read it to you, or just read it out loud to yourself. The language you use is on the whole, telling the reader what happened, not necessarily showing the reader. Vary your sentence structure, and vocabulary. Take it as you will, just trying to give a bit of honesty. Keep it up, you've got some great bones here.
-Anna

Posted 12 Years Ago

WOW! I am amazed that you wrote about this subject! I will definitely be reading this. I sort of believe that the ancient gods were angels that mated with humans and created those mythical humans. I am not sure if you believe this, but I believe that there is truth in everything, even the incredible myths. Off to chapter 1!

Posted 12 Years Ago

great story

Posted 12 Years Ago