If You Could..

If You Could..

A Poem by QuietPoet

 

If You Could..
When you say,
“Your taking all this well”
You don’t see the real me
And I think that’s what hurts the most
If you could walk a day in my shoes,
I don’t think you could make it..
If you can’t see right through my smile
You don’t know me at all..
We live under the same roof..
I guess I can’t blame you,
I try so hard to hide it..
I fight everyday to make it,
I feel like I am dying inside
From hurting and struggling so much..
If you could switch life’s with mine
I don’t think you could find a reason to live..
When I stand in front of you with tears
All I need from you is to come over to me
And hold me as tightly as you can..
If you could replace my heart with yours
I don’t think you could keep it beating..

© 2009 QuietPoet


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Reviews

Very telling, and you've been reading my poetry lately, so this is not helping me at all! I love the premise and it's soooooo true to life. I sometimes wonder some of your same thoughts when faced with my ex. You're very good at expressing yourself and I hope that these feelings are from the past. Years, not weeks. But we're getting some great, emotional poetry out of the deal!

Posted 11 Years Ago


If I could know you I would definately have to make you laugh for once.

The line, "If you could switch life's with mine" is mechanically syntex incorrect. I don't don't know if you are talking about both parents or multiple siblings or a lover, but life should be lives, I believe. If you are talking about multiple people. If you are just talking about one person than maybe If you could switch your life with mine, which I think would sound alot better and make the piece more powerful. Good write keep it up.

Posted 11 Years Ago


I can feel the pain flowing off the page as your ink tells the story of your feelings. No one is able to understand what one feels completely... and that is hard. We all hide behind a mask and some days are better than others.. some days the mask slips and the truth shines through... along with the feelings and emotion.. but the signs are there if one looks hard enough.. the signs are always there..

Beautiful ink Kylie!

Posted 11 Years Ago


to me this piece is about being totally missunderstood by someone who is supposed to know you or at least care to know you. but too often they dont. know you or care. phenominal write,

Posted 11 Years Ago


Wow! This one is so strong with emotion, this is ownderful. I can feel it all.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Wow! QP you put it down with this piece. The way your emotion and honesty appears in the piece is amazing. You bring us into your life, your heart and your soul. We breathe your poetry because it is so real. It smacks us in the face but in a very good way. Keep writing keep purging this out of your system.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very strong emotions on this poem, one of your best Kylie, written with so much pain ..Me

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 18, 2009
Last Updated on February 18, 2009

Author

QuietPoet
QuietPoet

Las Vegas, NV



About
Hello, my is kylie, I havent been on here for a long time, i haven't written in years so bare with me. Reading all my old stuff brings back a lot of memories. I have a husband and twin girls, i would.. more..

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