Down

Hold me high, the waves are rushing in

I am no longer surrounded by sun

But shrouded by clouds

With ice water blood and blue lipped screams

I fight in silence while the sea holds me

Down I fall into the depths

Quietly I crash into the empty

The waves are unforgiving 

I feel myself slip away through the current

Reviews

[Betty]

A poem with a deep message. The adverse events of life are at time suffocating, indeed!!
I loved each line .

[Alone In A Crowd]

This is a great piece. Your descriptions created the empathy and raw emotions for the reader to feel. Well done. Keep up the good work.

[Troy Henson]

To drown in our own misery is like a lead weight. This was a great piece. I enjoyed. I was sinking in this with you and the raw emotion was captivating and solid.
Thank you for this one.
Fantastic

Regards
Troy

[SyberRose]

That was great...I felt like I was drowning in the sea...nicely done ...enjoyed reading ...Rose:)

[quinfinn]

rip tide can be deadly...this is worded and works beautifully, such a unique composition. well penned!

[lee von cleef]

the rip tide can take you and the crash of rolling coral slogges my ears, air, even thick salt foam, air. ya I like your poem.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. I love it...You are talented...:)

[Brett Pritchard]

Brilliantly bleak, seems to capture the adversities and sometimes horrific encumbrances of lifes journey and the frightening position they can leave us in.

And of course your (avatar) namesake! 😊

Was this perhaps one of your early pieces and the inspiration for your pen name?
Or do you include it here as a nod to your scribe pseudonym?

Fantastic work Q.Q.

BP

[ANTO]

Great descriptive piece QC and like Rita (Hi Rita) observed - clever use of your name in the work. I liked the way you described the clouds forming into a shroud as if your fate had been decided from above.

Very imaginative writing QC
Encore

[Rita L. Sev]

So vivid, I do not want to approach water... This is quite a profound piece, Riley. I feel the desperation of being pulled under, into an abyss. The inclusion of your own name says that you've been here before... A meaningful poem; keep writing.

[QuietlyCrash]

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to review this. I really appreciate it.