Chapter Two

What brought Peyton to this crossroads in her life

Chapter Two

 

 

Peyton had meet Franklin back in high school; it was the typical high school scenario.  He was the high school heart throb, excelling in all sports.  Franklin came from a very wealthy background; his family had owned the local steel factory which employed half the town’s people as well as that of the surrounding town.  They had made their money after the war and their wealth just kept building.  The family lived in a huge house set high on a hill that over looked the downtown area.  In high school, all the girls were after Franklin.  He was always dating different girls until the one day Peyton finally said yes.  It had taken him a long time to get her to agree to go out with him, but to him it had been worth it.  He and the rest of the male population at Middleburg High thought she was irresistibly beautiful.  At first she wasn’t really interested in dating him, Peyton wasn’t like the other girls, trying to land the wealthy high school hero, she didn’t think about money.  She thought he was too into himself and that turned her off.  However, after much time and begging on his part, he was able to persuade her to give him a try and in a weak moment she gave in.  They dated all throughout high school and had become engaged while he was in his senior year in college.  Franklin was three years older than she was, and while she was completing high school without him, she felt off the hook, in terms of other men, as no one had the nerve to approach her to ask her out, as they didn’t want to cross Franklin.  Franklin had gone on to the local college where he continued to excel at football, and she would visit him on campus when she wasn’t studying or working at her part time job.  It had been a very complacent existence, and she was happy with the contentment this relationship brought her.  Even though she always had heard about the passion and excitement others had in relationships, she was content and happy with the feeling of belonging to someone and the comfort that brought her.  

          As she was waiting for the storm to settle down, the raw images of that painful night were brought back to mind... 

 She had innocently dropped by Franklin’s apartment to leave a music CD of a band they were interested in hiring for their upcoming wedding.  Franklin had called to say he would be working late at his family’s business and wouldn’t be able to get together with her for dinner as they had previously planned.  She had a key so she had let herself in and was only planning on placing it on the table along with a little post it note about how she had missed seeing him, when she heard voices coming from the bedroom.  Immediately, she felt a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, but felt compelled to find out what the noise was, even though she subconsciously already knew.  As she was approaching the bedroom door she could hear someone giggling.  The noise seemed to draw her closer towards the partially closed door, almost as if she were a magnet without any control; some invisible force was pulling her towards impending devastation.  Her footsteps were silent as she walked down the hall, her feet feeling as if she were walking in quick- sand.  After what seemed an eternity, she found herself overcome and breathless in front of his door.   The voices were now clearer and she was even able to put faces and names to the once unrecognizable sounds.  As realization of what was unfolding hit her, she could no longer stop herself from completing this unwanted journey.  She gradually pressed the door open and stood in the doorway with what must have been such a wounded look on her face, a combination of bewilderment and raw pain.  Before her, entangled in bed were Franklin, her fiancé, and Samantha Collins, Franklin’s secretary. 

          They didn’t seem to notice her at first, and continued on with their sordid activities.  She just stood there for what seemed like an eternity, a very painful eternity.  She didn’t know what to do; the emotions that raged within her were so volatile and confusing.  She could run, she could confront them, she could get sick, but before she could make her mind up what to do, Franklin noticed her in the doorway and with one swift motion was on his feet, grabbing a nearby sheet to conceal himself.

Her eyes couldn’t bear to look at him, he stood before her speechless, and she turned to walk away.  She needed to get away from this horrific scene, needed to get fresh air, the nausea was becoming too much for her to hold back.  Samantha called to Franklin, to return to her, and his glare was enough to instantly silence her.  Samantha was not whom he wanted, Peyton was the one he wanted to marry and spend his life with. Samantha was just a passing itch that needed to be scratched.  The things he wanted to do with Samantha were not what he expected of Peyton.  She would be the mother of his children, the woman who stood beside him in society.

 “Peyton” he said as he grabbed her wrists preventing her from running away. 

She abruptly pulled her arms away from him, “Don’t...” she trailed off, averting her eyes from his once again. 

She could feel the panic rising inside her and she needed to get away, she felt so weak.  How could she not have known?  She felt foolish, believing in this man, getting ready to marry this man.  This man whom had now betrayed her in the worst possible way.  Samantha called out from the bed for Franklin to return to her once again and to let Peyton go.  As Franklin spun around to confront Samantha, Peyton took this opportunity to race down the hall and to escape before she got sick in front of them both.

   “Damn it!” he exclaimed as he heard the front door slam shut. 

He grabbed Samantha’s clothing from the crumpled heap on the floor and threw them onto the bed.

 “Get out!” he said as he sunk into a nearby chair while running his hand through his unruly hair. 

“You should have let her go a long time ago, she’s all wrong for you, you know we’re more compatible” she said behind a devious smile.  “You think your prim and proper Peyton could please you the way I do?” she said as she shimmied back into her mini skirt. 

“Think about it, you know it’s true.  You know how perfect we are together”

 “I said get out” Franklin retorted as he attempted to keep his composure.  “There’s a reason I don’t want to do those things with Peyton, she has class, unlike you.”  He said as he walked into the adjourning bathroom and slammed the door.  “I want you out before I am through with my shower.”  He roared from behind the door. 

“You’ll call me, you know you can’t stay away.” she purred as she grabbed her purse and sauntered down the hallway.  This is exactly what she wanted, and now her devious plotting would hopefully lead to what she wanted out of life and that was to land the wealthiest bachelor in town.

Reviews

[Skai Rain]

This is terrifically written. Lucky Peyton found out before she got married. I've been cheated on before and it's honestly one of the worst feelings out there. That said, I absolutely hate Franklin. I hope she finds someone better later in the story! No excuses for him! Keep up the good work. I'll do my best to catch up.

[RAOrourke]

Thanks so much!!

[Stephanie M]

Nicely written composition of a young woman facing a difficult situation.

[TL Boehm]

so the story is coming along. I know that you are using the convention many of us do and breaking it up into bite size reads. here is my thought - either kill or seriously condense the first two paragraphs - why? because as a writer we need to get our readers to the action - your story really starts with the images of the painful night. It is our pain as writers. We want to tell every detail of our characters, all that we know - but just like a movie - somethings don't serve to move the story forward. Ultimately - you make the call to keep this as is or edit - so that is just a friendly suggestion. The reader will automatically have Franklin's number as a play boy by his fiance catching him in the act.

[C. Rose]

I recommend "grounding" the exposition of their time in high school together by having Peyton think of a specific memory such the details when she finally said yes.

I was a little confused at the perspective shift. Peyton runs out and then Franklin and Samantha keep talking, but this scene started as Peyton thinking back to that night.

[RAOrourke]

oh more than excellent!!! My dear I am on the edge of my seat!!! I love your nasty wicked secretary and the wild Franklin who has tried to have his cake topped with ice cream and eat it too... Splendid!!!

[RAOrourke]

I am glad you liked this!

[Ashira Macy]

I had a feeling the reason was because he cheated on her. His reasoning behind it is interesting though, not something I would have expected. Of course, that is no excuse, but I dislike Samantha more than him in this situation, which may be unfair. Anyway, one thing I will say that I have been trying to work on myself is the switching of the POV. It has been suggested to me by others that it is best to stay in one person's POV instead of switching to different characters, so I just thought I would pass that bit along. Take it or leave it. Can't wait to read more.

[Dalton Holt]

Sorry it took me so long to get to your read requests, but anyway... I think this chapter is pretty good, and it makes me want to know what happens next between Peyton and Franklin. But I think this lacks detail. You didn't really describe how Peyton thought of Franklin, and the scene where she catches Franklin and Sam in bed is quite bland. I have to use my own imagination to picture her expression and feelings. Here's a better way to put it;
''She gradually pressed the door open, and slowly the inside of the room was revealed to her. What she saw made her heart sink, and her eyes opened wide in shock, even though she saw the sight coming. The horrid sight of Franklin and another woman sprawled naked on the bed, embraced in each other's bare arms. Peyton bit back a scream, having to cover her mouth with her hand to stop any sound from escaping. Tears were silently flowing down her cheek, every tear a memory of the plans she had with Franklin, and the wonderful times they had together, now lost in his dreaded betrayal.'
You also need to add more detail to the setting. Again, I had to use my imagination to create how the house looked. Adding detail and imagery will really help your story, especially if you ever plan on publishing. I think do far the story is going well, but needs more detail to be complete.

[RAOrourke]

You are so right once again!! I need to really show more of Peyton's feelings, dialogue is my downfall and your description and emotion example were very helpful!

[Dalton Holt]

Well if dialogue is your weakness, then you need to work on it to strengthen it. Dialogue is extremely important, it makes the scene come alive! Dialogue is quite simple though, all you have to do is imagine what the characters are you saying and write it down. All you really need is something simple like 'he said' or 'she said.' You don't need to put anything fancy, but since your strong suit is narrative, you should morph the two together, describing what the speaker is doing or feeling. For example: "I don't really know..." Kate said as she scratched the back of her neck nervously. Just practice where you're weak to get rid of those weaknesses.

[RAOrourke]

Thanks again for your help Justin!!!

[Botania]

The ugly face of treachery is shown here. Devastating in so many ways.

[Nikki]

I don't feel sorry for Peyton, I feel happy for her because she's finding out now before the wedding, the kids, the anniversaries, the people around her knowing and putting on heirs.... I am on her side but she is whole with or without a man in her life as is. Still, I know how lonely it can be and when you invest so much into someone/something so precious to you and it winds up burning you.. It's better that it happened now... Although I'm on the fence about how I feel about his character as of yet.

[SweetNutmeg]

I think this would go together well with the first chapter, as a unit, not two separate chapters.