Desire

Beneath the stars we can smile a lot 

Embracing darken nights 

And we roam to hide the tears been already fallen to fall

Next day it rains to help

In thousand sheets they  are hidden again

For soul sake 

Make me a vamp to  drink only  blood

No heart

No scars

No tears to play rumors 

In dark hide my deserved  mortal

Let me love .. me

The owner of  own self

No one to hurt -

leaving me after some fun 

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

Okay as much as I can remember this is your first work that I'm reading... As for the theme I really loved the message you left here, there was pain and brokenness in it which I believe make a way for you to add the message... It is important to love ourselves, without loving oneself we can't happiness in this tough to live world... Very well thought out piece...

As for the structure, I really loved it. Nice word choices and it has a good flow and leaves the reader with a deep thought to think... Very well done red... Thank you very much for sharing this mate....

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Thank you so much again for such an appreciation ..I'm beyond glad that u got the massage but m sorry that it's actually not my first poem here but I wrote it in a very sad moment of life .Thanks for reading :)

[willweb]

Life is filled with these feelings...ups and downs, but in the end, all we really have is ourselves we can count on. This was sad ReD, but it held a light at the end...it was glowing. Very nicely penned

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Thank you so much Will , i really appreciate your words : )

[The StoryTeller]

I think that this is a really good poem. I love the picture for it, it kind of gets the reader ready for a darker atmosphere and it does kind of look what I think Desire would look like if it was a person. It shows the struggle of pain well, the tears that fall, and that are hidden in the rain, where you can blame it on that. And as a vampire, we would be cool, able to do whatever we wanted. Things wouldn't bother us. Or at least, that's how vampires are portrayed (Twilight, Vampire Diaries, etc.) I think it was beautifully written and well executed. I had a few grammar problems, but I tend to spell grammar like this: grammer most of the time anyways, even being in an Honors English, and I think that you put it in there on purpose. Lol, I'm rambling, I liked it. :)

[Lenah Mehzabin]

(remarks * yup i have put that on purpose ) and u exactly got the main theme ! But this poem when i was writing I was really angry so the result came up like this haha ( it an old poem of mine )
Thank you so much for such a nice review !

[The StoryTeller]

Okay, sounds good to know that about the grammar, and I'm glad I understood the message you were trying to create. And yes, we're all angry sometimes, we're all afraid, we're all hurt. The trick is to not bottle those feelings inside. It's not how hard you fall, it's how you get back up again. :)

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Ya i agree ,thank you dear : )

[The StoryTeller]

............. :D

[Ov3R_sKiLl3D]

awesome again a beautiful poem ................. =)

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Thank you ....... : )

[Ov3R_sKiLl3D]

WelCome ........ =) :)

[~]

Ahh ReD, things that the heart has to go through, that it never should.. Your feelings are visible and screaming out loud..

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Thank you so much specially for the perfect choice of word :))

[~]

You are welcome :)

[W R Stowe]

So sad but some actually feel this way, usually after a broken heart because guys like lying about feelings just to achieve their own gratification but gals can do it to. Nice poem

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Thank you ! You got it right : )

[W R Stowe]

your welcome

[Jamestown]

Awesome again, loving oneself is a must and is tough to do sometimes, and
sometimes to much, balance is key im told lol.

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Thank you so much. I agree with you : )