Key Demolition

“Even a brick wants to be something,”

he said;

supposedly a metaphor

for human aspiration,

 

but the underlying limitations

paralyse with horror

when the concept is examined.

 

An indecent proposal?

Well, yes, it is,

 

for a solitary brick is nothing

but a weapon or stumbling block;

 

a brick alone

can only result in negatives.

 

Paradoxically, to achieve greatness,

the brick must devolve itself of ambition

and be content

with where it is placed

 

in a lottery system whereby

some reach dizzying heights

while others shoulder the burden,

out of sight in the basement �"

 

condescendingly referred to as the foundation.

 

It must blend in,

shoulder-to-shoulder

with the faceless.

 

Uniformed.

 

Only flaws offer status �"

to be chipped, weathered

or thoughtlessly marred

will regain the individualism

sacrificed

for the good of the majority �"

 

but if these imperfections are shown

before completion,

the brick risks being cast out

from the project altogether.

 

Better not to be noticed.

Keep perfectly still

and silent.

 

No wonder some break out,

to soar headfirst into the delight

of smashing glass and bone;

sole accomplishment,

success and recognition,

 

the alternative being

 

 

 l a y e r        u p o n

 

           l a y e r

 

 o f                s t u r d y

 

     f e u d a l i s m.

 

 

"Even a brick wants to be something."

 

Uttered in

an oft-referenced 'classic',

somehow

escaping analysis.

  

 

 

America, maybe you are more Communist than you admit.

 

 

Author's Note

Mum wanted to watch 'An Indecent Proposal' even though she'd missed the first half. She'd seen it before, I hadn't - no idea what was going on ["So who's that?" "Ssshhh."]
These thoughts are all I took away from it.

It's going to need work. Let me know if you have ideas for where to start.
Thanks.

Reviews

[Alessander]

People with suits cause and clean up all the mess lol political poems are HARD to do because they always divide the reader: one nods, while the other frowns. Anyhow, I really like how you visually put 'layer upon layer' reminded me of Pink Floyds "the wall" as a matter of fact, this whole poem does. The ending is a bit abrupt too, for some reason, but I like it. Let's see: social security, unions, financial regulations (albeit horrendous), healthcare (maybe) the end of child labor or the 16hour work day...all originally communist initiatives, so ya, the US is def a half-assed communist society lol ok, that was more of reaction than a critique, but I'm allowed one every blue moon.

[Through the Gateway]

An interesting bit to get from a movie line. It does cause one to ponder, doesn't it?

Overall, I found this thought-provoking. The structure was well handled.

[Marie Anzalone]

The bit about the uniform really got to me. I've bene thinking for years that certain factions in this country ONLY bestow honor and the ebst human ideals, in their minds, upon those who wear some sort of a uniform: EMT's. soldiers, doctors, firefighters, and the like. I would agree with the respondent who compared a current prevailing mindset to a corporate one: where, those deemed "unsuitable" would be "let go" were some individuals in power. I fear the day where it happens is coming all too soon. Let's hope the rest of us learned enough lessons from WWII.

[Alicante lullaby]

interesting...intriguing...and flawless

[Ruth]

Amazing structure and flow, great piece! xx

[Alice]

You are unusually clever.
I've never read a poem as philosophical as this which manages to carry me through and be an enjoyable read; most of them are dull and self important which yours certainly isn't. I think it's the brick metaphor that makes it special; it's breathtakingly executed and so spot on I laughed in delight at several points. Kortas commented on subtlety which at points is indeed absent, but I didn't find that a problem, there's something to be said for bluntness and you carry it off deftly; though I suppose technically it could do with some refining, I don't care much for technicalities and I love it how it is.

[Aaron J. Wald]

I like it. I feel all should be created equal... why can't a brick be added to this proposal? I also do think that america is turning out to be fairly evil, not communistic at all, but evil. I like how you word this, using the brick idea, you never repeat the same thing (exept the brick.) And I like that.

[Tony]

I dont know..........I read it 4 times and it seems pretty tight. I thought maybe a little shorter.....but no, It's pretty tight. As KC said above, I love the wordplay and also the solo word: Uniformed. Good stuff.

[Kasey Klein]

I read 'The Stranger' by Albert Camus, much too young, I guess, at twelve, to fully understand the esoteric metaphors dancing about. An older friend found it of value, given to him by an older friend, finding it of value.

"Whada think."

I pursed my lips. "One thing's for sure. I'll never be an existentialist."

He laughed, telling me I understood the book. I didn't know what he meant back then.

Having said this about that, allow to say, my friend, this is a wonderful existential muse. I love the play of words. My favorite line is:

Uniformed.

The form defying the concept.

Thanks for asking me by.

[Emily B]

I have visions of all the well-manicured, impeccably dressed bricks I know. I'm sure they never thought of anything evolutionary or revolutionary or even barely remarkable in their lives. Complacent drudgery. Too busy to notice the world outside their blinders.