The Lions Game

The Lions Game

A Chapter by RainDancer1997

Lets play a game!? It's called death!





         She watched him intently, like a lion does to his game. He walked into a sports bar and sat down next to a blond woman with a strange looking tattoo across her face. She could hear their every word, and she could even smell the sweat rolling off his neck. Serene could almost feel his sweet blood trickling down her dry throat. It made her a little hazy at the thought of it. She watched him sip at his black coffee, and listened to their conversation.


   "She doesn't suspect anything, Mary," he laughed kissing her cherry red lips. His longish brown hair touched her tattoo as they kissed.


   "I guess you can come over to my house tonight then?" she smiled poking out her chest showing off her big breast. Tramp, Michelle thought to herself!


   Serene didn't think she was gonna get two mortals to play her game tonight. How lovely, she thought! Serene quickly threw her long brunette hair behind her shoulders, and stood as she watched the couple leave there seats. When they opened the door, their scent exploded into the air. Serene could smell coffee, sex, and Chanel perfume. Her plan was beginning to blossom perfectly! She smiled as they entered the forest park. A lot of people took this short cut. The park's filled with oak tree's, wild flowers, and different tiny animals. Which meant Serene is the only large predator around. She entered the park, and the Lions Game began!


   "You're never suppose to cheat on someone, karmas a b***h!" Serene laughed walking up behind the couple. The two stopped immediately and whirled around in confusion.  


   "Who are you?!" they snapped a bewildered expression written across their faces .


   "Now don't act mean yet! The game hasn't even begun!" Serene giggled showing them her milky white fangs. The woman instantly shrieked and fainted. Wow, what a surprise! The man stared at her and smiled. He kept his cool and walked up to her.


   "You just want to be loved," he smiled brown eyes glistening.


   "You have five seconds to run before I drink you dry. It's called the "Lions Game". It's the game of death!" she smiled as his smile vanished and a look off horror washed over his face. He looked down at the petite w***e and stopped. Then he glanced at Serene and began to run across the earthy forest. So much for love! Serene decided to let him run for a while in terror, and pulled the w****s body into the deep forest. Her face began to sharpen and mold into feeding mode. Her eyes changed to black, a thick layer of muscle sculpted her transformed body, and she felt her teeth prick her swollen lips. Serene tore at the woman's neck and quickly drained all of her blood. The look of death on the woman's face made her happy. She quickly disposed of the woman's body and ran into the woods. Serene could smell his polo cologne from a mile away. She also noticed that he had stopped to hide like the coward she guessed he'd be. His heavy scent told her that he was hiding in a foul ditch ten foot from her.


   "Oh where has the dashing man gone too?" she questioned trying to be dramatic, " I bet his wife misses him." She could hear him slowly breathing in and out. His blood starting pumping faster and faster. She silently crept up to the ditch, and reached down and pulled him out by his plaid shirt. He pleaded for his life while she held him up in the air.


   "It looks like I've won the game," she smiled, "see you in hell!" She used one powerful surge, and smashed his head against a near by tree. Death claimed him slowly, and she watched his red blood stream down the side of his disfigured face. Victory is hers as it always is.  

© 2013 RainDancer1997

Author's Note

Ok ik it's really short, and all. Though tell me what you thick so I can go on with it or not:) Thanks:) Picture is Serene she is 20

My Review

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"she smiled poking out her chest showing off. Tramp" The word Tramp, who is thinking that? Because Serene had just spoken I would say all sentences and thoughts belong to her, so is she thinking it about herself? Maybe you could put all of Serene thoughts in italic to make them stand out more

"Serene quickly through her brunette hair behind her shoulders" that through should be threw.

I like the idea of the Lions Game and I do like Serene. She is a great mix of fun and mischievous with dangerous and slightly mad. I would say though, maybe you could make more of the Game bit. You could make Serene skulk a bit more and add more description of the sounds and smells of the hunt. That would add some tension and make the reader feel like they are along on the hunt with Serene.
A good start though, I will read on.

Posted 7 Years Ago

5 of 5 people found this review constructive.


Oh boy. That was catchy. Precisely the thing that drags readers in. I don't want to write more, because I onto the next chapter. You've got me hooked. XD

Posted 5 Years Ago

you have potenntial i like this keep writing

Posted 7 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


7 Years Ago

you're welcome hon i have a lot on my mind about my stories and writing but i'll keep reading your w.. read more

7 Years Ago

That sounds good:)

7 Years Ago

indeed hon i like your story
i Enjoyed this chapter. The beginning was a bit confusing as to who people were, and I think more punctuation is needed. Still this is a brilliant start to what seems like an interesting plot, and I love the character Serene already. I'm off to read chapter 2.

Posted 7 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the story. Good story and amazing storyline. I like the set-up and the thoughts. I like the way you made each character and situation important. I like the surprise ending. I tell people. Watch what you do. Never know who is watching?? Thank you for the outstanding chapter.

Posted 7 Years Ago


7 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked it and thanks for reading and commenting:-) !
Interesting. In a lot of literature, vampires are interpreted as being provocative and usually quite horny (sorry, couldn't think of a better word) most of the time, but here, the game-like staging of it all i find somehow... playful (in a sortof perverse, childish kind of way). It's really very interesting how you've portrayed the vampire.
Something tells me I'm gonna enjoy reading this, so for the moment i will reserve any observations of the protagonist. Interesting stuff here.
Can't wait to read the rest. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm so glad i started reading this
I'm glad i started now that you've written more to the story(i don't have to wait
for the next part) hehe :)
good job! Keep it up :)

Posted 7 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


7 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked it:)!!
good !! nicely written its good that you did not have a common ending something like HE SAVED THE DAY !!
keep up the good work.

Posted 7 Years Ago

Hmm, nice start. :D I agree with a lot of your other readers, to perhaps start out with less pronouns in the first paragraph, and to let use know it's Serene who's doing the thinking. I was a little confused at first.

Love the description and your character Serene so far.

You could perhaps have a bit more description of the scenery around (I have a bad habit of forgetting to do this), and perhaps have her stalk them a bit more, to help elongate your paragraphs.

Really interested to read more to see where this is going :D

Posted 7 Years Ago

First chapter ? It's up to you but starting out with pronouns like HE and SHE could be avoided. You definitely want to lay out your background, who is who, their history, and why. Perhaps it's just me but I like to paint in the details until the imagination can flow with the story.

As for the story itself. Umm ... It is horror, yes ?

Posted 7 Years Ago

Well, let's just say Serene is not someone I'd want to go messing with! I think you did a great job describing her; she definitely seems cruel, if not a little evil.

Posted 7 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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It's anything you want it to be, and maybe everything you hate it for, but relatable none the less.


32 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on August 9, 2013
Last Updated on November 29, 2013
Tags: murder, killer, blood, thriller, game, vampire, immortal, supernatural



ragland, AL

I'm from a small town in Alabama and I love skateboards and any type of rock music. I love to talk to anyone, and I hope ya'll like my writings:)! MY fav music:) Sleeping with Sirens .. more..

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