The Lions Game

The Lions Game

A Chapter by RainDancer1997
"

Lets play a game!? It's called death!

"

           

 

 

         She watched him intently, like a lion does to his game. He walked into a sports bar and sat down next to a blond woman with a strange looking tattoo across her face. She could hear their every word, and she could even smell the sweat rolling off his neck. Serene could almost feel his sweet blood trickling down her dry throat. It made her a little hazy at the thought of it. She watched him sip at his black coffee, and listened to their conversation.

 

   "She doesn't suspect anything, Mary," he laughed kissing her cherry red lips. His longish brown hair touched her tattoo as they kissed.

 

   "I guess you can come over to my house tonight then?" she smiled poking out her chest showing off her big breast. Tramp, Michelle thought to herself!

 

   Serene didn't think she was gonna get two mortals to play her game tonight. How lovely, she thought! Serene quickly threw her long brunette hair behind her shoulders, and stood as she watched the couple leave there seats. When they opened the door, their scent exploded into the air. Serene could smell coffee, sex, and Chanel perfume. Her plan was beginning to blossom perfectly! She smiled as they entered the forest park. A lot of people took this short cut. The park's filled with oak tree's, wild flowers, and different tiny animals. Which meant Serene is the only large predator around. She entered the park, and the Lions Game began!

 

   "You're never suppose to cheat on someone, karmas a b***h!" Serene laughed walking up behind the couple. The two stopped immediately and whirled around in confusion.  

 

   "Who are you?!" they snapped a bewildered expression written across their faces .

 

   "Now don't act mean yet! The game hasn't even begun!" Serene giggled showing them her milky white fangs. The woman instantly shrieked and fainted. Wow, what a surprise! The man stared at her and smiled. He kept his cool and walked up to her.

 

   "You just want to be loved," he smiled brown eyes glistening.

 

   "You have five seconds to run before I drink you dry. It's called the "Lions Game". It's the game of death!" she smiled as his smile vanished and a look off horror washed over his face. He looked down at the petite w***e and stopped. Then he glanced at Serene and began to run across the earthy forest. So much for love! Serene decided to let him run for a while in terror, and pulled the w****s body into the deep forest. Her face began to sharpen and mold into feeding mode. Her eyes changed to black, a thick layer of muscle sculpted her transformed body, and she felt her teeth prick her swollen lips. Serene tore at the woman's neck and quickly drained all of her blood. The look of death on the woman's face made her happy. She quickly disposed of the woman's body and ran into the woods. Serene could smell his polo cologne from a mile away. She also noticed that he had stopped to hide like the coward she guessed he'd be. His heavy scent told her that he was hiding in a foul ditch ten foot from her.

 

   "Oh where has the dashing man gone too?" she questioned trying to be dramatic, " I bet his wife misses him." She could hear him slowly breathing in and out. His blood starting pumping faster and faster. She silently crept up to the ditch, and reached down and pulled him out by his plaid shirt. He pleaded for his life while she held him up in the air.

 

   "It looks like I've won the game," she smiled, "see you in hell!" She used one powerful surge, and smashed his head against a near by tree. Death claimed him slowly, and she watched his red blood stream down the side of his disfigured face. Victory is hers as it always is.  



© 2013 RainDancer1997


Author's Note

RainDancer1997
Ok ik it's really short, and all. Though tell me what you thick so I can go on with it or not:) Thanks:) Picture is Serene she is 20

My Review

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Featured Review

"she smiled poking out her chest showing off. Tramp" The word Tramp, who is thinking that? Because Serene had just spoken I would say all sentences and thoughts belong to her, so is she thinking it about herself? Maybe you could put all of Serene thoughts in italic to make them stand out more

"Serene quickly through her brunette hair behind her shoulders" that through should be threw.

I like the idea of the Lions Game and I do like Serene. She is a great mix of fun and mischievous with dangerous and slightly mad. I would say though, maybe you could make more of the Game bit. You could make Serene skulk a bit more and add more description of the sounds and smells of the hunt. That would add some tension and make the reader feel like they are along on the hunt with Serene.
A good start though, I will read on.

Posted 7 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

My father used to beat up on my mom when I was a kid. I tried to reason it as much as I could. My mum would hurt but she won't complain to us. But the thing that worried us was that if anything happened to her we, the kids, wouldn't have someone to help.

I did something then that I only found out years later. I told myself men are cruel and selfish and I killed the genus of the male ideal in me. It was much later when I had the opportunity to rework it. I figure there were two sides to the perception. We do outgrow our needs as a child.

A story that's written with an eye for the plain facts of the situation and encourages a response that shares the dystopian nature of reality. Good job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RainDancer1997

7 Years Ago

Thanks for reading and for telling me that:) You're greatly appreciated:)!
A wonderful piece of writing, and though I did spot a few errors, they're only small. Great description and dialogue. This appears to be your second story about vampires... I'm not too big a fan of them myself :')

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

writing wise its fine, is dark your forte? i mean it brings in too much negativity in the psyche of writer too with time so in between get fresh air of happiness and love too.
best wishes

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Really you are trying to get me obsessed with your writing this is so good man I am officially In love with your writing! p;ease send me a request when you post the next one!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RainDancer1997

7 Years Ago

I'm sure it'll be great:)
ThoughtsofShyann

7 Years Ago

thanks! :) :)
RainDancer1997

7 Years Ago

no problem:)
i'm not into swearing, but other than that, it was awesome! Great job! ;)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RainDancer1997

7 Years Ago

I usually don't like swearing but it fits the story lol
Alverrann

7 Years Ago

OK! ;) I understand. :)
I really like this- great descriptions. Definitely darker than My Michelle. I like the character of Serene. She's kind of dishing out her own brand of justice.

It made he a little hazy at the thought of it. - In this line, I think it should be It made her a little hazy.

I would definitely be interested in reading more. Are we supposed to root for Serene or is she the bad guy?!?!?!? I'll be waiting to find out!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RainDancer1997

7 Years Ago

Really I guess that's up to you haha and thanks for showing me that:)
Interesting chapter, curious to see what will happen next

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RainDancer1997

7 Years Ago

Thanks for reading:)!!!
I've never read many vampire stories, but this was really entertaining! It was nice that you outlined her vampire powers using her victim. For someone like me who has never read vampire stuff, that is very helpful in creating a character for us that does not just drink human blood. The character herself is very interesting, and I think a great story could be built around her. I would happily read more and think you should continue writing this! Great piece!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RainDancer1997

7 Years Ago

Thanks so much:) Your greatly appreciated!:)
Next chapter please!!! Lol :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RainDancer1997

7 Years Ago

I'll probably post one tonight:)
The Invisible Girl

7 Years Ago

Awesome!! :) can't wait to read it!
Alright, so I really love this piece. I did see a few errors, such as the beginning of the second to last paragraph, there should be a quotation mark at the end of "too?" Other than that I think you're pretty set. I shall be awaiting more soon. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RainDancer1997

7 Years Ago

Thanks for reading and for the advice:)

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Added on August 9, 2013
Last Updated on November 29, 2013
Tags: murder, killer, blood, thriller, game, vampire, immortal, supernatural


Author

RainDancer1997
RainDancer1997

ragland, AL



About
I'm from a small town in Alabama and I love skateboards and any type of rock music. I love to talk to anyone, and I hope ya'll like my writings:)! MY fav music:) Sleeping with Sirens .. more..

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A Poem by RainDancer1997



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