Time

And how does your time go, today ?

     

I sit silently, watching the sand as it slips through the hour glass, each falling grain, a clanging lament of dreams yet reached..of bonds that have been broken, of memories faded.

I am beyond the ignorance of youth, yet short of the wisdom of age.

 Still, in the silence I hear the bell of time, a bell that chimes but once.

 

  It is a sound I have never heard before. It whispers a truth I cannot deny.

Time,

the great healer of wounds, the thief of our innocence, the first flower of spring, the last leaf of autumn.

 

You fool us when we are young. You whisper, " You will live forever."

You trick us into wasting our days, by shielding our ears from the chimes.

It is then, when the leaves begin to change their color, you shout..

"It is not a game! "

 

I damn you for your constant movement !

I damn you for fading the memories of my youth !

I damn you for the plans I saved for tomorrow !

I damn you for reminding me I am mortal !

 

No..I do not fear you, or your passing.

 

Oh, but alas..

I sit and watch the hour glass..

Reviews

[Jenny Davis]

This is magical, Rain...a true poem to reflect on life's mysteries, TIME.
This line was excellent:
"I am beyond the ignorance of youth, yet short of the wisdom of age.".......I hear that ;)

I think many can relate to this......brilliant job, my friend :)

[Kiya]

Wow... exactly how I feel about the clock! Why does time fly when you're having fun, yet drags when you're bored? (Or studying, for that matter). I love the outright rage that is flung at the turning of the earth, at night, at day, and at aging. Made me smile... well done! :)

[.mate.feed.kill.repeat.]

Interesting and thought provoking piece.

I had read through this a few times before I decided I could produce a good, rounded review. I think that you did well with the piece for the most part, but I would like to suggest a few things.

First:
"I sit silently, watching the sand as it slips through the hour glass, each falling grain, a clanging lament of dreams yet reached..of bonds that have been broken, of memories faded."
The first line is about twice as long as any of the other ones. Now, there isn't necessarily anything wrong with that, but to me, that doesn't make sense. As far as line length goes, I've always been scolded for having "unnatrually long lines" in my poetry, so now it is natural for me to think that lines should be about the same length.

Second:
I notice that in some places, you put an ellipses, or something like an ellipses. I don't know what it is about two-period ellipses and four-period ellipses, but they annoy me... I always have mine with three-periods.

While we're on the subject of punctuation, you have spaces between the last word in your lines and the punctuation (most notable in the fourth stanza). Once again, just an odd occurance. Technically, there shouldn't be a space there, but I suppose if you always write like that, there's nothing that you should change. Once again, I've always been taught to punctuate (and quote and parenthesize) immediately before/after a word.

I did enjoy this piece. You had beautiful flow and simply marvelous imagery. I loved the subject. It was ...well, a bit magical. I loved this piece. You are an amazingly talented writer.

[mick weller]

"The whole business of marshaling one's energies becomes more and more important as one grows older."
--Hume Cronyn
`Time`, grand master of illusion, gets a lot of stick...
ah, but how fair blows the breeze when the end comes more clearly into view...
ha ha - good write!
- though never a day is wasted ... and age doesn't necessarily bring wisdom, as history shows!
cheers mi'friend

[lauren emily]

This is amazing! I love every bit of it!

[emmajoy]

'I am beyond the ignorance of youth, yet short of the wisdom of age.' .....

'I damn you for your constant movement !I damn you for fading the memories of my youth !I damn you for the plans I saved for tomorrow !I damn you for reminding me I am mortal !'

You DO have the wisdom of age, else, how come you included the lines directly above!!!

Time is a killer though, dreams forgotten, hopes tarnished and all the rest... you write so well, more than so well. If I say too much, will seem fulsome.

I find this incredibly sad... it's the disillusionment you've so expertly expressed.

I'll be back to read again... no, i wont, I'll put it in library, just don't fine me for having it too long!.

Thank you for for sharing, this is incrediblly potent.

[L.G. Knight]

Absolutely GORGEOUS! I LOVED this! Very magical and I love the beginning and ending with watching the hour glass nicely nicely nicely done!

~Frances~

[Gandré]

This was so ticking in front of my eyes just so how I slowly moved them, and the time, this construct of ours, what doesn't exist was just created and it ticked and ticked and the melancholy was dripping down your words - snatches of a dark dream holding your memories - you were too terrified to race....

very nice, Rain ! Loved it.

[Sabbath_Nikole]

beautiful and astounding. I have sevral favorite lines in tihs one, too many to repeat to you. You've inspired me.

[Blackbirdsong]

I love this poem Rain, and can't believe I didn't see it until just now.

This is my favorite line -

"I am beyond the ignorance of youth, yet short of the wisdom of age."

So much just from those words...wonderful poem...I will have to read this one again :)

[Jinx]

Oh, I only love this! So, that's what happened... damn it!

Beautiful write, Ray.