Mother

The One!

Mother

 

I woke up to see her,

My first friend – My mother!

 

I purred and painted her with my drool

Made inane sounds with my babble

With a smile…she rocked my cradle!

 

She sang to me as if I would hear,

She patted and held me dear

To ward off any fear!

 

I played and bruised,

When I hurt, she winced

Cursed, but nursed!

 

My dream – A nightmare,

She let me snuggle close

Wiped off a tear and said in my ear

My son, never fear when I am near!

The shortest poem ever – “My Mother”

 

Raj

Reviews

[Red Raven]

- 'I woke up to see her,
My first friend – My mother!'

Hats off to every mom in this world.Refreshing read.Thanks for sharing.

[Akshat♥]

i really like this poem...thanks for sharing:)

[J.Black]

"My dream � A nightmare,
She let me snuggle close
Wiped off a tear and said in my ear
My son, never fear when I am near!
The shortest poem ever � "My Mother"

I love my mom, so this was a great read to embrace my mind in.

[Kiara]

nicely written "she sang to me as if i would hear patted and held me dear to ward off any fear" my favorite : )

[~The Queen~]

Very nice, I liked it. I love my mother as well so reading this was soothing.

[Angel Baby]

Truly enjoyed your write, captivated me....thank you!

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Raj,

This is a very touching work in many ways. The first stanza, in particular, is very good. What a nice start. The idea of being comforted from a nightmare in the end is also quite nice.

There are a few technical issues that could be tended to, however, to improve the poem. For example, "Made inane sounds". Now sounds themselves are not inane, or they're always inane, depending on your point of view. Words, which normally have meaning, can be instead inane, but generally not mere sounds. So some rewording here is probably in order. Also in line "She sang to me as if I would hear" is disturbing. I assume your hearing as a child was just fine, so of course you could "hear". Did you mean "understand" instead? I know that upsets your rhyme scheme, but perhaps it needs to be upset since the words of the first line of the stanza need to be changed. Finally, and this is just a suggestion, since "The shortest poem ever � 'My Mother'" is a separate thought from the final stanza and is, in fact, sort of a summary for the poem, it probably deserves to be set appart from the last stanza and stand as a stanza of it's own.

Best regards,

Rick

[Rachel DeHart]

*smiles* I like the innocence of the beginning of this.
You really captured the simplicity of being a baby.
Good Job!

[Jam]

Nice work