What could have been...

What could have been...

A Story by Candle in the wind

A vivid recollection that haunts me.An inadequate representation of a special woman's unconditional love



She came hurtling down the stairs and I froze in my tracks! There she was falling head downwards and I was staring dumbstruck by shock.
She had been up all night or rather I hadn’t allowed her a wink of sleep and she didn’t complain. I kept snapping at her when she dozed." If you sleep I will feel drowsy and I can’t afford to sleep." I had a vital exam the following morning and too much was left to be covered and time was too little. I wanted her to sit next to me or at the most lie down and let me snuggle up to her warmth and clutch on to her sari. She has this unique fragrance and this comforting softness. Each time my eyes drooped she said she was off to the pantry. She came back with a piping hot cup of coffee or something to munch.
“Do you think I can finish the syllabus and do the test tomorrow?” I asked with despair expecting a lecture about how my negligence was unpardonable and how I should have done my work earlier. I knew it would be terrible to hear all that and I was asking for trouble by voicing my misgivings. I couldn’t help it. The books were open and the words were swimming. The amount to be covered within the remaining part of the night was like a gaping chasm. All she said was “I am here by your side you will be able to do it. Wait let me get you something while you go and splash some water in your eyes.”
Then I said “Please read aloud for me and I will assimilate. My eyes are hurting.” She read and also kept a watch on whether I was alert. I snapped at her when she stumbled at a word. She was apologetic. She let me put my head on her lap as she read.
After a while I just couldn’t keep awake any more. I asked her whether it would be alright if I just caught a little nap and made her promise that she would wake me up at 5 am. She assured me she would. I slept eagerly.
It was almost as if I had just closed my eyes and she was calling me again urging me to wake up and finish the remaining bit. I stretched and yawned at yanked myself out of bed reluctantly. She was up and about getting things ready. She looked as fresh as ever. I grimaced at her. " Now I have to go for an exam and you will enjoy your afternoon siesta."
I overstayed with my books and I was running late. It was a very important exam and I couldn’t afford to be late. I was panicky and began to rush   She was at my heels entreating me to grab a bite and I was impatient. Why did she consider breakfast so important? She came rushing down the staircase in order to see me off and wish me luck and then…she slipped missed a step and came hurtling down.
I seemed paralyzed as I stood on the landing watching her fall. Then suddenly in a flash I moved and rushed forth to the bottom of the staircase. I don’t know what prompted me but I went and held her head and sat down to cushion her in my lap .She fell into my lap and the disaster was averted. She had bruises on her arms and legs but I shudder to think what it could have been.
She is my mother and she would do this again for me. I can’t think of life without her.

© 2008 Candle in the wind

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A mother's love goes beyond all barriers. Best friends can love us, but mother's have been with us from day one and it becomes unconditional love for the fortunate. She is beautiful to love you like she does and she always wants the best for you, as I read here. I'm sorry she fell, but I'm glad she is alright. Your story is full of anticipation, love and tenderness. Forgiveness comes easy to a loving mother, as I see in your beautiful story.

Posted 12 Years Ago

5 of 5 people found this review constructive.


wow! this is a great story, it shows how a mother would truly do anything to help her child.

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sorry took me a while to get to this. Lost my modem Thurs night and was not able to really do anything online until now. A mother's love is something both powerful and alluring, we always wish to be seen in the eyes of a mother as they can only see us. The depth they are able to see past all of our faults and see the child they remember. I liked the feeling of desiring to understand something you know you will never be able to no matter how hard you try. Battling both the inner demon as well as dealing with the fact of the reality of being placed in a place of almost wanting to blame yourself in some twisted way even though you know you are not to blame in the least. Very interesting thoughts this places in my mind and such a pleasure to allow to consume them.

Great Job!!!!!!

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow-your mother is a true blessing, Raj. Your studies reminded me of my plight while in Bible School. Late nights, papers and studying. Many nights of staying up all night to complete my assignments! I don't regret it.

There is something to be said for the "Unconditional Love of a parent." I use to sing my 3 children a song when they were small. "I love you when you're good, I love you when you're bad, I love you when you're happy and I love you when you're sad." It is synonymous with the love of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. While He loves us unconditionally, regardless of what we do or do not do, He doesn't stand back and wink at our sin. I think that is where so many confuse "Unconditional love" thinking that if we hold our kids accountable to doing the right thing, expecting the BEST out of them, we are not loving unconditionally. My children haven't always made good choices, but I have never stopped loving them, not for a second, and would scale the world for them, and give them the moon if it were in my power to do so, regardless of their actions.

I can't help but want my children (now all three grown) to do the right thing, because I know that in doing so, they will be blessed. I hold very tightly to the old adage, "We reap what we sow." In sowing good seed, we reap a good harvest, and sowing bad seed we reap the bad...

Another thought provoking, heart felt write....Just in time for mother's day. :-) Well done. :-)

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A mother's love is surely unconditional and can never ever be measured as it's too deep and pure for anyone to experience.
The story also has been beautifully written with a brilliant write..
Thanks for sharing it with me :)

Posted 11 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

this is also a great peace this part i can relate to....

She is my mother and she would do this again for me. I can't think of life without her.

i dont think none of can live without our mother it would hurt so bad to not have her there to help guide us when needed...a mothers love is uncondishanal, we have them there to watch over us even as we grow old. they love us no matter our flaws or our mistakes...for we are loved by them in a very special unic way....keep up the good work i hope to see more... great write...

Posted 11 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This story brings out our guilt conscience on how we might have been with our mothers as well.

They have been so selfless towards us in anything, to the point of defending us to their friends for our errors during our childhood.

This story takes place in a span of a couple of hours, but has brought an immense message than could last a lifetime. A great piece

Posted 11 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Very nice work. A love for one's mother. I have heard and read about many stories that states and expresses a mother's love to her child, but rarely I've got the return from her child. It's like Mother and child at perfect harmony.

Again, I find your peice delightfully amazing and cultured and talks about a day-to-day life, and how a day became special. These peices are very special in a way - to me, anyway - as it has a trace of famaliarity all over it.

A delight to read. Thanks for forwarding this to me.


I grimaced at her.” Now I have to go for an exam and you will enjoy your afternoon siesta.”

(In this sentence, I think you might have used "Can" instead of "Will". It could sound more comfortable to the ear and I think that is what you meant to say in the sentence. Forgive me if I'm wrong.)

(Also, I didn't understand why did you grimaced at her. How can a child grimace at one's own mother for looking fresh as ever? I didn't understand this bit. Also, you close a double Inverted comma after the first sentence but I could not see it opening anywhere. It's just a small typo, you may be forgotten to put a space after the fullstop and then give the inverted comma. Microsoft Word closes the double inverted comma when placed right after a fullstop! ^_^)

Thanks again for forwarding this to me. ~KA~

Posted 12 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Mothers do everything, mothers are the forgotten people. You have paid homage to yours in this delightful look at a wonderfully loving woman. Mothers would die for their offspring under any circumstance.
I loved this and the picture.
Helen :-)

Posted 12 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Selflessness, unconditional love - is so hard to give.
But from a mother's heart, it flows as easily as tears do from the eye.

This is one of those unforgettable incidents in life. And your manner of expression has turned this into a beautiful piece.

Posted 12 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This is what mothers are like, Rajrupa...always there...

Only...sometimes........(well, let that remain unsaid in a public forum as this...you know what I am hinting at...)

But, nonetheless....beautiful! You make the reader empathise with you at every point, right from the fear of finishing the syllabus, to the irritability at your mom's slight mispronunciation, to the eagerly awaited sleep, to the impatience at being asked to have breakfast...and finally to the nail-biting run between her missing her step and falling into your laps, where you cushioned her, like she had done the previous nigh!

I miss my mother!

Thanks for sharing this piece....

May God Bless You!

Posted 12 Years Ago

3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

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16 Reviews
Added on February 7, 2008
Last Updated on June 2, 2008


Candle in the wind
Candle in the wind

Calcutta, India

Flickering and blazing,not yet blown out in the wind... the flame has to sustain itself when the rains set in... Beyond norms and overrated sanity " We look before and after And pine for what i.. more..


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