Drizzling dust

Written for a contest-Advanced 10/40 Using all ten words,(Dust, only, paint, alibi, through, pencil, property, sprayed, organize, borrow ) in order, had to write a poem using exactly forty words.

Drizzling dust on my window

Only paints an alibi for my absent spirit

Some peer through

At a hazy pencil sketch of me

Listless property strewn

Sprayed with neglect

I have to shake off the gloom

Borrow zest organise life

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is what true talent is all about and that is why I'm again writing here that you are one of the most talented writers present here at Cafe!
This is exceptionally well, and conveying such a thoughtful message...Poems like this are always in my goodbooks :)
(In between, you forgot to highlight the word "alibi" I guess)
Brilliant piece of writing, Like always...!

[Richard McLin]

There is a great style to this piece, I really enjoyed it.

-Richard.

[a]

This is really a wonderful, inspiring and well mastered poem, that show deep insight of the lyrical character.
But since it's written under vertain conditions, i supposed some things might have left unsaid outside the lines, it carries the mind of elsewhere and leaves unsatisfied, i suppose, but the last two lines eases it out, and i get a feeling - i love it.

[PENS FOR PEACE /TJ CALI..]

BRILLIANT AND VERY WELL DONE! YOUR THOUGHTS ARE ONE THATPONDERS UPON MANKIND FOR AGES!
WE ALL HAVE ALIBIES MUST WE MUST ALL DO WHAT WE CAN TO MAKE THIS MAJESTIC EARTH A BETTER AND PEACEFUL PLACE! YOU DID WITH THIS GREAT WRITE! KEEP WRITING FROM YOUR SOUL FOR THE GOOD OF ALL SOULS! BRAVO!
ALWAYS,
TIM PINA
PENS FOR PEACE

[LSS]

Well done as usual. If you didn't win I'd be surprised. Not too many can actually make a poem out of few words. I've seen many using many words that are sloppily termed poetry, while yours works easily. I'd like to see you write a deeper poem on this same subject. You express yourself so wonderfully in other genres, like 'Candle in the wind', and I'd love to see what you would do with dust on the window.
Lar

[None]

WOW! What a difficult task but you mastered it quite blissfully. Your poem doesn't appear forced at all as in some where there are word constraints. Bravo! A wonderfully written poem going beyond expectations.

[Tovli]

beautifully presented. excellent use of imagery. tovli

[Helen Woodward]

Brilliant!!! A little sad, but magnificent. You achieved the set requirements with ease and such elegance and also managed to tell a story...wonderfully imaginative, this should do extremely well in your chosen contest Raj.
Helen xx

[Robert Luna]

Very interesting thoughts this provokes deep within my out mind's eye. You are always such a thought provoking read. As your words paint a image that plays with my imagination so beautifully. I am so glad you sent this my way.




Great Job!!!!!!!

[Floating on the feather..]

This is super-sexy.............I simply loved it.

This is greattttt... The stipulations were never a straining limit for you. The restrictions seems so inviting as you write it.

An awesome write...

wow, you really pulled it off after all that conditions set.

The painting jives in as well.

I am actually impressed, you have the title in the bag for this ;)

A wonderful piece