Fear the colour red

Fear the colour red

I’ve felt fear.

Many times in fact and in many many ways.

I felt it as a child as I learnt a new thing.

The fear that came with riding without training wheels for the first time.

The fear of falling.

I felt it at school when I’d have to stand in front of others.

Whether I was receiving an award or making a speech.

I felt it in my stomach first as I stood up then in my legs as I went to walk then in my throat as I tried to speak.

I felt it with friends new and old.

I felt it as I introduced myself or retold an embarrassing story.

I felt it with boys as I shared with them things I hadn’t shared before.

I felt it with my parents.

The fear I felt when they were mad because I had done something wrong.

The fear I felt when hugging them scared they’d let go and leave.

The fear I felt when I said goodbye not sure when I’d next say hello.

I felt it with my sisters.

I felt it when they’d do well and I wouldn’t.

I felt it when they were having fun and I wasn’t.

I felt when they’d leave for a night.

I felt it when they cried.

I feel fear every day often before I feel anything else.

I feel it as I wake up scared that I’ve slept in.

I feel it as I get dressed worried I’ve put on weight.

I feel it on the bus stressed over stupid things.

I feel it throughout the day as I worry about the next.

I feel it as I drift to sleep afraid this is all I’ll ever feel.

I feel it when I think of life.

A life filled with new things and hard falls.

A life surrounded by others waiting for me to speak.

A life surrounded by people not giving me the chance to.

A life filled with critics and jerks.

A life with a family far away.

A life separate from my sisters.

A life alone.

A life cut short.

I feel it when I think of nothing or how it would feel to truly be nothing.

I feel it when I think of others and how they would react.

I feel it when I think about all the things I’d miss out on.

I feel it always and I always will.

I’ve felt fear.

Many times in fact and in many many ways.

I’ve felt it and it's scared me.

I’ve felt it like everybody else and I’ve realised that's what makes us the same despite the gender we have chosen or the colour of our hair.

Despite the place we were born or the nature of our birth.

Despite the colour of our skin and years to our name.

We all bleed red blood.

We all do and we all need someone.

Its as true as the fear I've felt.

And I will continue to feel fear and bleed blood as long as someone needs me.  

And someone will always need me even if it's only me.

Reviews

[Writergurl]

A life filled with critics and jerks.
A life with a family far away.
A life separate from my sisters.
A life alone.
A life cut short.

I know this feeling, such a wonderful write so filled with raging emotions.
much enjoyed this