My Wife Isn't Pregnant

My Wife looks like she's pregnant but she's just fat.

People have been congratulating her and she hates that.

My father yelled "Woo Wee!" because he thought he was going to be a granddad.

But when he thought she was pregnant, she saw red because she was so mad.

She shaved his head bald and then she beat the crap out of him.

And when others congratulate her, she does the same to them.

Half of the people in my town are wearing bandages and they're bald.

She makes people pay because being pregnant isn't what she likes to be called.

People run because I'm living in a town that has been gripped by fear.

She did the same thing to a man that is done to a bull to make it a steer.

Please don't ask her if she's going to have a daughter or a son.

Because if you do, she'll get pissed and you will have to run.