I've Felt More Warmth From A Coke Machine

I've Felt More Warmth From A Coke Machine

A Poem by Randy Johnson

You tricked me into marrying you when I was drunk.
When I learned what happened, my ship was sunk.
You are vindictive, selfish, cold and mean.
I've felt more warmth from a Coke machine.
Out of all of the thing I've done, marrying you is the only thing I regret.
You burned most of my clothes and you gave away my beloved pet.
One time you put arsenic in my milk and you smashed my valuable record collection.
You want me to make love to you but you are so cold that I can't get an erection.
You are the most horrible woman that I've ever seen.
You're very cold, I've felt more warmth from a Coke machine.
You lied to my brother and because of that, he almost died.
You told him that I hate his guts and he attempted suicide.
Out of all of the people I've ever met, you are the most offensive and obscene.
I'm going to divorce you because I've felt more warmth from a Coke machine.

© 2021 Randy Johnson


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Hello, Randy! :)
That's a great line: "I've felt more warmth from a Coke machine."
I'll see how my wife likes it. Haha
Thanks for sharing.

Posted 1 Month Ago



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33 Views
1 Review
Added on April 25, 2021
Last Updated on April 25, 2021
Tags: Cold, Coke, Humor, Marriage, Wife

Author

Randy Johnson
Randy Johnson

TN



About
I was born in Middlesboro, Kentucky on August 20, 1971. I've lived in East Tennessee since 1973. My hobbies are writing and drawing. more..

Writing