My Beautiful World

How my world has turned beautiful again

My Beautiful World

My world has turned into darkness
I can’t see the path ahead
Everything has been corrupted except my soul
I won’t let my soul get corrupted
Deep within me, my soul is still bright
But I still believe in God
I close my eyes and pray to Almighty
The brightness within me spreads everywhere
I open my eyes and see God
The path ahead is lit up
And He shows me the way
He extends his hand towards me
And I hold his hand
Staring into his beautiful and pure eyes
That gaze from his eyes will beautify the world
He guides me through this path
And I travel with him
To spread brightness everywhere
My world has turned beautiful once again

Author's Note

My World- both inner world and outer world
A soul alone is pure . It gets corrupted only after getting inside a body
We all should not allow it

Reviews

[EJH]

A fine piece! I love how your protagonist remains pure and strong, despite everything. Written like a true Christian!

[Ranfer]

Yeah...The God I thought was
Jesus although I am a Hindu
Thanks for your review 😊

[EJH]

My bad, I must have taken a Christian meaning when you said "God", but in any case I love the positive message :)

[Ranfer]

The God I mentioned here is one God belonging to all religions -Hindu,Christian,Muslim,Buddhism.....
For me all the religions are the same

[Dawn]

Lovely sentiments that are heartfelt and beautiful expressed inside this sincere poem.

[Ranfer]

Thank u Dee

[Dawn]

Ranfer you have a beautiful heart and a glorious soul. Bless you for being YOU.

[H L Rose]

The imagery is beautiful and the sentiment is lovely.

I try to be helpful in my reviews and give some constructive criticism, but I'm no expert so these are all just suggestions.

Perhaps "but" in the 6th line, should be changed because it suggests a contradiction with the line before, but I'm guessing that "my soul is still bright" is not contrary to "I still believe in God". I could be wrong, that's just a suggestion.

I would also suggest avoiding the use of the same word more than once. "Soul" is used a lot in the beginning and I would suggest finding a different word to use or a different way to explain it. In lines 12 and 13, "Hand" I don't think needs to be used twice. The same with 14 and 15 with "eyes".
Then again, I think repetition can work beautiful if used intentionally. (P.S. I know it's ironic that I've used the word "suggestion" like 5 times in this review.) :p

I hope my criticism is constructive! Overall I really do love the sentiment and think you have a beautiful picture being described. The last three lines were my favorite! I really enjoyed reading this poem!

[Ranfer]

Thank u so much for giving me your opinion ☺️☺️☺️

[H L Rose]

Of course!

[Phill Oz O'fee]

To have a faith that is strong and true has been encapsulated most finely poignant within your inspirational write - a wonderful testimony and share - lovely piece … :-)

[Ranfer]

Thank u for reading my poem

[Abraham George]

beautifully written .
I do believe in God and he will guide us. I believe he is light and path.
Nice work and it remind me again to have faith in God.

Thanks for sharing.

[Ranfer]

Thank u for reviewing my poem

[Riddhi]

I really liked this poem...Deep and meaningful one..Actually I am among those people whose faith in god has been shaked..But I do believe in god and for me my god lies in needy people , poor people , blind and orphans..I feel that if you can help a human then its equivalent to offering something to god...You should not fear god that if you will do something wrong he will punish you rather you should love him..That way your soul will never get corrupted..Loved it..
Keep writing..

[Ranfer]

Thank u for reviewing my poem

[Lovely poet 💖]

A mixture of courage and true faith. Very beautiful and wise poem!!!!

[Ranfer]

Thank u so much!

[Siddhidatri Pande]

I really liked it..Its great to have your belief at a higher edge

[Ranfer]

Thank u very much!

[AizenJ]

Beautiful! In this crazy messed up world. We shouldn't forget that we have not been forsaken but we are loved and we are always under his watch. There will always be light within the darkness. Beautifully written my friend. Props!

[Ranfer]

Thank u so much😊😊😊

[Tahsin.Z🍁]

I've always suggested people to keep a belief in Almighty...but never forced actually....☺
There's a saying in my local...Cold doesn't go away just in a winter...that means days of happiness do come back and so the days of gloom!
Your prayer was pure just like your alone soul...that's why your wish has been granted...Almighty's grace be upon you😊!

[Ranfer]

Thank u very much, friend 😄😄😄

[Tahsin.Z🍁]

You're heartedly welcome! 😊