The Store Is Alive

A Story by Rasheem

Four friends ride in a Cadillac, heading east on I-16. The time is 12:36am everyone is sipping on red bull and smoking weed. “A bro Vegas gone be lit bro!” Says Robert. “Hell yeah Bro!” yells Anthony. Who was sitting behind Robert chugging the rest of his red bull. “A pass the blunt Robert damn!” Josh yells. Robert took one more hit then held his right hand out. Josh snatched the blunt then slumped back in his seat smoking like a Chimney. “How long will it take before we get there?” Asked Anthony his dark skin made him almost invisible riding at night. “Who said that?” Robert Joked. There was a moment of silence then laughter erupted. Anthony sighed. “Yall not that much lighter than me. I don’t know why yall laughing like yall light skin or something”. Anthony pointed a finger at Tyler who had his head cocked back with his mouth wide open sleeping like a baby. “I know for a fact that Tyler is blacker than me and yall don’t ever say s**t about him.” Josh blew smoke from his nose then passed the blunt to Anthony. “It’s because Tyler don’t pick, you always picking at somebody ant so we got to get yo a*s.” Anthony hit the blunt blowing smoke out his mouth trying to make an O. “Whatever man so like I was saying how long it will take before we get there?” Robert sipped from his can. “it’s going to be a while bro that’s why we got an a*s of weed!” Robert laughed out loud. Anthony shook his head in agreement he looked at Tyler who was still sound asleep. Anthony puffed his fifth hit then tapped Tyler on his shoulder. Tyler shook his head like a new born infant that has opened its eyes for the first time.

Tyler spotted the blunt and snatched it. He puffed two big hits than sat back smoking steadily. “Why yall gave me the blunt when it’s almost nothing left”? He asked. “You were sleep this whole time we were trying to pass you the blunt” Anthony lied. Anthony, Josh and Robert knew very well what they were doing. They saw Tyler asleep and thought we will be a lot more high with three heads instead of four. “We will wake him when we roll the next blunt.” they agreed, but Anthony got so high he forgot his own plan and woke up Tyler. Tyler shook his head Josh and Ant burst out laughing. “I got first on the next one” Tyler said. “Where is the relo? I’m rolling the next one.” Josh checked his pockets then looked in the glove department. “I don’t see any.” Robert checks his pocket with his right hand while his left steers. Then he switches hands using the other to feel through the cracks in the seats. I don’t have them. Anthony checks both of his pockets then in the seats. Robert drove a green 1996 Sedan Deville Cadillac. The car had plenty room in it. His friends often made jokes saying his car was as long as a bus. The cigarillos could have easily fell between the seats.” Damn I don’t see them either.” Tyler’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me where out of relos. No one says a thing. They fiddle with their pockets as if a white owl white grape will appear out of them. “F**k!” Tyler yells. “I’m not even high I bet yall boys high as hell.” Tyler smokes what’s left of the blunt then ashes it in the Cadillac’s built in ashtray. “F**k it we just gone stop by a store and get some more.” says Robert. The speedometer bumps up to ninety. The smooth Cadillac floats like a boat on a lake at high speeds. The four friends have to drink energy drinks so they don’t fall asleep in the cruise ride. “Take the next exit Robert”. Tyler snaps. “I know that dumb a*s you didn’t have to say s**t.”

Robert takes a hard turn on exit 38. The green Deville rides smoothly down the exit. They ride into deep woods. Tall trees tower over them on each side. The trees stretch as far as their eyes can see. No traffic signs or houses were seen. There were no restaurants, motels or any signs of human activity. Only tall trees hovered over the lonely road. “A hold the f**k up where are we?” Josh asks. “The hell if I know I took the first exit I seen.” Robert replies. Anthony flips a switch the window rolls down. “This place looks creepy as F**k! What’s up with all these trees?” Josh shakes his head. “Yeah Robert this place doesn’t look right turn this mother f****r around.” “Yall stop acting like some b*****s this was the first exit I seen and this where we riding.” Robert snaps. “Robert now is not the time to be ignorant I don’t even see a store we could go to.” Josh says. “Yeah Robert you tripping,” says Anthony. “Are we even in a community I don’t see no type of life out here bruh.” Robert sighs “I’m not high enough for this s**t.” The green Cadillac halts to a complete stop. Robert shifts in reveres just when he was turning around Tyler says “wait! I see a building up ahead.” All of them looked ahead to see a bright figure in the distance. “So what?” Josh says “It can’t be a store were out here in the middle of wilderness! who in their right mind would build a store out here?” Tyler shakes his head. “We don’t know that. For all we know there is a town just past the building.” “A Robert just turn around we will find a store on the next exit.” Josh says ignoring Tyler’s comment. “No Robert we already here Let’s drive to it and see what it is. If it’s not a store, we can turn around.” Roberts face showed aggravation. Tyler looks at Anthony for support. “Yeah Rob we might as well we already out here.” Anthony says. Josh shakes his head. “do what you want but I’m telling you it’s a waste of time. Robert shifted the gear back into drive. “even if it’s a store it would be closed its twelve at night.” josh retorts. “well we about to find out”. Robert replies. As the green Deville glided toward the distant light. The trees on the right side of them began to thin out. Robert flicked on his right turning signal not because he needed to there was no one around him. He does this out of habit. The green Deville pulled into the parking lot. The trees surrounding the area made it almost impossible to see. “Well damn josh why don’t you look at that sign and tell me what it says?” Anthony jokes. Tyler and ant share a laugh. There before them stood a small convenient store that had a large sign on it reading one stop in big bold red letters. The o flickered every few seconds indicating the light in it was about to go out. The four friends observed their surroundings. There were three other cars parked in the lot. Two on the right side an empty parking space between both vehicles, and one car parked at the gas station. No one could be seen in any of the cars. On the left side of one stop standing tall was a street light it shined only in the front of the store. The gas pumps barely caught any of the light. The area surrounding the store was barely visible. Nothing but darkness welcomed them.

One stops lights shined from inside, showing that their indeed open. Josh has an intrusive look on his face. “yall hush that laughing something don’t seem right.” Tyler and Anthony reframed from their tittering. Giving Josh an ambiguous glare. “Just admit you were wrong Josh for once I your life.” Tyler says. “yeah bruh it aint no big deal.” Anthony adds in. “No look inside the store!” Josh snaps. “The lights are on but I don’t see no inside.” “So what?” Robert says. “So what!?” Josh fires back. “Look around there are other cars here!” Don’t you think it’s strange that no one is in the store!?” Josh stares at Robert. Robert matches his eyes then looks back at Anthony and Tyler who were both bent over their seats with hands cupped over their mouths. Chuckling quietly to themselves. Robert also tries to force a small smile from appearing but could not with josh staring right at him. Laughter erupted in the Deville. Josh shakes his head in defeat. “alright cool I’m tripping. Yall go ahead and get the relos so we can go.” “you funny Josh” Tyler says after wiping a tear off his face. “They could be in the store behind the isles where we can’t see. Or in their cars for all we know. Tyler points at the red Honda civic a parking space away from them. “Their windows are tinted it could be someone pointing a gun at us and we wouldn’t know it. Same goes for the car at the gas station.” “All right Tyler I’m done talking about it.” Josh says. Feeling a little embarrassed his friends laughed at his comment. Even though what Tyler says makes perfect since, there could indeed be people shopping behind the isles out of view or in the restroom. It is also possible that there in the car, interiming. Knowing all of this still didn’t make josh feel better. He had so many questions that’s bottled up in his head. Like why is there even a store in the middle of nowhere? What county are we in? but what bothered josh the most is that he has yet to see another human other than his friends. If one stranger would just slide into view it would put Josh’s mind at ease. He wanted to tell his friends hey let’s just wait until someone comes to the register or at least crank up a car and pull off, but he restrained himself from saying it. He knew they wouldn’t take him serious and were more likely to laugh then ridicule him. So instead he said “Hurry and get the relos Tyler we got to get back on the road.”

A ding dong echoed throughout the store as Tyler pushed open the glass door. There were isles with merchandise stacked on them. In the back in glass doors were alcoholic beverages. Tyler headed for the counter which was on the right side of the isles. Then he stopped. Josh’s words pierced his brain. “Don’t you think it’s strange that no one is in the store”? Tyler shook the thought. Chuckling under his breathe “Josh funny as f**k.” Tyler turns walking toward the second isles, He grabs a bag of lays salt and vinegar chips. Then he heads toward the back surveying the store as he moves. “Well damn I don’t see anybody in this b***h.” He says to himself Tyler steps through the second and third isles nothing but merchandise stocked on shelves. The floor was sparkling clean, like it had just been mopped recently. The doors containing alcohol also displayed a mirror image.

Tyler felt a shiver go down his spine. He quickly walked toward the register. Darting his head in every direction. Curiosity flooded his mind. There was no cashier behind the counter. “Maybe she’s in the back he thought. “Hello! You got a customer out here!” Tyler waited for a response, only silence welcomed him. Tyler taps his fingers on the counter while slowly moving his eyes from left to right. A clump sound entered his left ear. Tyler turned to see the door containing four loko’s had opened. The person responsible for this was a rather overweight fat man who wore denim blue overalls “were did he come from?” Tyler thought. I just walked up and down this whole store I was the only one in here. Tyler was about to head for the exit. When a voice entered his ear. “May I help you?” Tyler flipped back to see a slightly pale blond wearing a blue collared shirt with a name tag that reads Amy. “Were did you come from?” Tyler asked. Amy flashed a charming smile. “I’m sorry I was in the back stacking some boxes what did you need?” Tyler squinted his eyes. “I didn’t hear a thing not a door or footsteps” he thought. Tyler hesitated to speak then finally said “let me get four white owl white grapes.” Amy grabbed four cigarillos then snatched a bag from under the counter placing the cigars inside. She placed the bag on the counter then pressed some buttons on the register. “$4.06” “You forgot the chips” Tyler said holding up the salt and vinegar bag in his hand. “They weren’t on the counter.” Amy snapped back “How was I supposed to scan it!?” “Whoa take it easy dog.” Tyler replies. “I’m just saying”. Amy stuck her hand out like a swordsman who’s getting ready to duel. “give it to me!” Tyler raised the chips Amy snatched the chips scanned then bagged. “is that all?” Tyler had a bewildered look on his face. Her attitude went from passive too aggressive really quick. “Yeah.” Tyler says trying to keep his cool. “$4.06!” Tyler reaches for his wallet he turns to see the fat man standing behind him waiting his turn for checkout. Tyler had a half a mind to ask him where he was hiding. Such a large man should’ve been easy to spot. “Maybe he was in the restroom. Yeah that’s it! A man his size probably has to use the bathroom six or seven times a day.” Tyler thought. Tyler counts three dollars he checks both pockets for loose change he finds two quarters and four nickels’ “I’m a have to get some change right quick.” Tyler says his eyes glued in hands recounting the same coins as if it would somehow change to $4.06. “Ima be right back.” Tyler heads for the door but stops mid step. He Watches the reflection in the mirror door. Tyler’s eyes pop open like a frogs. His jaw opened slightly. There in the mirror showed Tyler’s reflection, but it was not his reflection that froze him in his tracks. Well in a way it was because Tyler’s reflection was the only one he seen. The cashier and the heavy set customer were no were to be found. Tyler stares into the mirror very hard like trying to solve a puzzle. He yanks his head toward the counter.

Amy was gone. “A red flag goes off in Tyler’s head. He immediately starts running for the exit. The change he was holding flew out his hands collapsing on the floor making little clicking noises as they hit. “what the f**k!?” Tyler says. Tyler slams into the glass door like a crash dummy. The glass door stood firm as a wall, didn’t even budge when Tyler crashed into it. The impact knocked Tyler off his feet. His back slammed into the floor. Aww s**t he yells. “what the f**k what the f**k.” Tyler scrambled back to his feet like a wild animal who was getting attacked. He darts back towards the door. More focused he pushes and shakes but the door does not budge. He looks behind him no one in sight. Only an empty store with merchandise on shelves even Tyler’s bag was gone. The store looked as it did when Tyler first stepped inside. “Amy were you at?” Tyler yells. Tyler shakes the door he gives it all he got. Veins spread on his temple and arms sweat leaked off his body. No good the door won’t open. Then in an instant all the lights went out. Tyler now found himself alone in an empty dark store. He bangs on the door with his fist. Staring at his friends in the car. Fear and confusion riddled Tyler’s mind. “I know they see this s**t. Why are they just sitting there like everything is fine!? Tyler wonders. “Ayy! Tyler yells. “What the f**k are yall doing!? Help me! Ayyy!” Tyler hits the door with a barrage of punches door doesn’t waiver. Then Tyler tries diving into it with his whole body on the second go around he hurt his shoulder. Maybe even dislocated it. He holds his right shoulder wincing in pain. Looking at the car that was parked no more than four feet away. Tyler could see Robert sitting in driver seat tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

Josh was in his phone and Anthony sat in the back seat laughing about something. “Help! What the f**k!? Don’t just sit there!” Tyler bangs on the door like a wild animal. “Why won’t this door open!?” Tyler yells. “you’re not going to leave without paying are you?” said a scratchy voice on the intercom. The voice sounded like grudge if she spoke English. Tyler turns around to see no one only an empty dark store. “who said that!? Tyler yelled. Tyler’s eyes scan everywhere, sweat drops from his face like rain “what the f**k is going on?” He wondered. Back in the Cadillac Robert taps his fingers on the steering wheel nonstop. “Why is this n***a taking so long?” He asked. Robert stares through the glass Trojan condoms hang on a shelf in front of him alongside the oil and filters used for changing engine oil. “This n***a been in the back for a long time.” Josh shakes his head. “Why did he go to the back? I told him to get the relos and come on.” He probably talking to a b***h you know how Tyler is.” Anthony adds in. “Really Ant? A b***h?” Josh says. “It’s 1:16 in the middle of a forest that just so happens to have a store in it and you think Tyler is in there talking to a female?” “Well when you put it like that it sounds less likely, but it’s still possible.” Josh scolds’ ant. “I mean really Ant?” Yall hush that noise. Robert says. “We can all agree that it’s been over five minutes and he still aint come out yet.” Robert opens his door the door made a screeching noise as it swung ajar. “I’m a go see what’s taking this man so long.” The back door swings open Anthony steps out. “I will go I got to use the bathroom anyway.” Josh face showed skepticism. “Can’t yall just wait until Tyler comes back?” Ant was already headed for the door. Robert still had one foot in one foot out. He sees the look on josh’s face. “what you so worked up about?” Josh breaths deeply. “Look at this place Robert something not right here.” Robert looks around the empty parking lot. ‘It’s like you said Robert. It’s been five minutes and Tyler has not come out yet. Not only that the other cars are still here. They have been here since we arrived. Not one person has come out nor has any car crank up and left.” Robert put his foot back in the car. Nodding his head slowly. “You know what josh that s**t sound crazy as f**k but you might be on to something.” Robert closes the door. “So what do you think is going on?” Josh’s eyes followed Anthony as he walks toward the door. Josh cracks his door open. “Wait ant do go in!” To late light shined on the parking lot as ant stepped inside one stop. The light disappeared behind the closing door. “F**k!” Josh says to himself. Robert looked confused. “What’s going on josh?” Josh holds a hand to his cheek. “Robert no matter what don’t take your eyes off Anthony.” Robert stared at josh. Josh’s eyes were straight forward following Anthony’s every movement. “Josh what do you think is going on?” Robert asks. “I don’t know but whatever you do don’t lose sight of ant even if you have to get out the car.” Robert starts to say something else but disregards it. Instead he looks at Anthony with josh.

A Bing bong echoed as Anthony walked in the store. Unlike the lights that illuminated the parking lot outside. Inside the store played a different fiddle. Darkness welcomed Anthony as soon as he stepped inside. “What the f**k?” Anthony looks around observing the dark store. “I could have sworn there was light in here.” Anthony immediately turns around trying to go back out the door. The door is locked tight. After straining himself for a full minute. He realizes that his efforts are useless “wait why aren’t Robert and josh doing anything? Ayy! Help me.” Anthony presses his face on the glass his heart beat a hundred miles a minute. A loud bang coming from the back turned Anthony around. “who’s there?” Anthony yells. Only the echo of his voice responded. Anthony ran towards the back hoping to find another way out, when it hits him. “where is Tyler?” “Tyler!” Anthony yells as he runs through the aisles. Anthony stopped at the fridges containing alcohol, when all of them swung open at once. Knocking Anthony off his feet. Blood leaked from his nose. He looked up in pain and let out a terrifying shriek. In the fridge was his buddy Tyler frozen solid between the cases of beer.

In the Cadillac Josh tries to figure out what’s going on. “Right there! You see that?” Josh says. Robert stares into one stop shaking his head. “No what do you see?” “Anthony took a left going down the aisles. “So?” Robert says. “So he said he had to use the bathroom! Josh protests. “Why is he heading down the isles that just so happen to be out of view.” Josh quickly steps out the car, he circles around to the left side of the store trying to keep his eyes on Anthony. When josh stepped on the other side there was a wall that blocked his vision for a second before seeing glass again. Josh stopped in his tracks, Fear struck him like a hit and run. Josh only lost sight for a second as he looked through the glass. Anthony had vanished. Josh saw only the aisles and sparkling white floor. “o my god.” Josh cries. He speeds back toward the car slamming the door and locking it. Robert looks at josh with worry in his eyes. Josh pants deeply then looks at the store. “Robert The store is alive.” Robert says nothing he doesn’t have to his face says it all. “What are you talking about Josh?” “Ant.” Josh trials off. He couldn’t even believe it. “Ant disappeared and if ant is gone then so is Tyler.

“How is that possible?” Robert asks. Josh hits the dashboard “I don’t know Robert but we got to do something. The store has our friends. Robert scratches his head trying to digest everything. “Damn I should’ve kept driving straight.” Robert says. “No time for regrets Robert plus there was no way you could’ve known we got to go inside and get our boys.” Josh says. Robert takes deep breathes then says “Ok.” Josh sparks up a roach that was kept in the ashtray. “The store fooled us showing illusions through the glass.” Josh blew smoke from his nose. “We can’t go through the front door. That thing must lock you in once your inside. So that’s a no go.” Josh passes the tiny bud to Robert. He Smokes what’s left then puts it out. “So what will we do then?” Robert asks. Josh holds his hand under his cheek. “I got an idea.” Inside the store the lights were back on, but no one is around. The floors were spotless. merchandise stacked neatly on shelves. Tyler and Anthony were nowhere to be seen. Music played from the intercom 80s classic sound. The stores beauty was swiftly intruded when a 1996 sedan deville Cadillac crashes through the glass window. Knocking down two isles glass, candy, chips and other accessories flew everywhere. “Take that M**********r!” Josh yells While taking off his seat belt and stepping out of the car. Robert comes next looking a little dizzy from the impact.

“Where is Tyler and Anthony!?” Josh screams. The store replied with silence. “Answer me!” Tyler yells. “I know you hear me! I know your alive!” A screeching noise pierced their ears it brought Josh and Robert to their knees. They held their hands to their ears. Then like a switch of a light the noise ceased. Josh slowly stood up. Robert taps him on the shoulder bro look. Josh turns to see the window they crashed into completely restored. The lights went out in One stop. “F**k!” Josh says. “Now were stuck inside the living store.”

© 2018 Rasheem

Author's Note

Im looking for feedback on the dialogue in this story. If you didnt like the ending dont worry im working on a part 2 following up after the events that took place there.

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barleygirl

Your story sounds realistic for a group of partying guys encountering various situations & reacting in jumbles of dialogue with vexation here & there. Even tho your dialogue sounds realistic for this type of people & situation, there is a bit of unimaginative repetition when everyone seems to speak in short curse-filled phrases of ridiculousness. It's truly how it would be, I admit, but it's a little boring to read similar phrasing over & over. Also, just as a point of structure, there should be a new paragraph when a different person speaks (a rule of writing). Having a number of people all speaking thru-out the same paragraph makes it a little hard to get the idea of who is talking (the reason for the rule). When each piece of dialogue is broken out into a separate paragraph, then you add a little bit of description as to how it's said or how the person looks or sounds, then this helps the reader get to know each character as a distinct entity. Right now, the way you've got this laid out, it's just a bunch of guys & none of them have any distinct characteristics that stand out & are memorable enuf to follow this story on & on. Since you asked for feedback on dialogue, I hope you'll forgive me for going a bit heavy here. All in all, your writing is strong & your storytelling is uninhibited in a good, entertaining way.