Spell Cast: Chapter One

I started writing this a few months after I began reading the Wicked series by Nancy Holder. It is a small chapter book about a family, cursed and followed by an evil warlocks family.

Chapter One: The City

     Here, it was never sunny. There was always a cloud in the sky. I would always forget what the warmth of the sun felt like. So I moved with my little sister, Clair. We moved to the city of Arizona. Pheonix, to be more specific. Clair and I had agreed that it was better to be hot and dry, rather than damp and gloomy. We had left everything behind in New York. Family, friends, traits, even beliefs. We really didn't much care for all of that simply because that wasn't who I am. For I, Hannah Marie Spritz, am a witch. 

Author's Note

I am a young writer, any constructive criticism would be much appreciated. Please, no mean comments.

Reviews

[TLK]

Hi there. This doesn't seem like a full chapter to me... so I'll wait for when you post more to properly review.

At the moment, what we have is in very short sentences. I haven't read any Nancy Holder, but I bet her sentences are constructed differently. I imagine they often have commas in, so there there is more of a flow to how you read it. I think you should try to express yourself more in that way: it is more interesting to the reader.

Typo: "Arizona, Pheonix".

[AceNRax]

Thanks for the advice. Again, I am a young writer, and I'm often afraid I ramble too much, so this surely helps with that. Thank you, and I will surely continue working.

[TLK]

Read plenty of good short stories. Because they're short, they can't contain much rambling (unless it's useful rambling). I find that reading (and writing) short stories keeps me concise.

Raymond Carver is generally considered to have written some excellent modern American short stories, if you are interested.
I would also recommend Harlan Ellison and Alfred Bester.