Feelings

Feelings

A Poem by Mr Alednac
"

Here is a love poem I just wrote

"

I'm nervous  at the interview

And like a miracle you appear

My fears and apprehensions melt away.

 

Your smile full of moonlight

Your aura seeping in my heart

I couldn’t wait to work with you every day.



Admiring your determination

Your humor and warm demeanor

And hearing your laughter brightens my heart.


 

Watching your soft and soulful eyes

They meet my gaze 

My breath and heart are set ablaze.


 

When I think your everlasting  presence 

It sends a shock into my system

I just want to be with you alone

and talk about these feelings.


© 2018 Mr Alednac


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I like the emotion you express in this poem!

Two observations: I suggest that you stick to one tense, i.e. you start in past tense, but then you move to the present tense later, "I watch your soft.....".....

And the last line sounds a bit clumsy - there is a word missing there somewhere :)

Great poetry.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mr Alednac

5 Years Ago

Thank you for the review, the ending didn't sit right with me either so thank you for pointing it ou.. read more
SleeplessVolcano

5 Years Ago

No worries - it is very hard. If you look at your verbs from the beginning, they are all past tense.. read more



Reviews

Great poem. I like the wording!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Mr Alednac

5 Years Ago

Thank you!
I like the emotion you express in this poem!

Two observations: I suggest that you stick to one tense, i.e. you start in past tense, but then you move to the present tense later, "I watch your soft.....".....

And the last line sounds a bit clumsy - there is a word missing there somewhere :)

Great poetry.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mr Alednac

5 Years Ago

Thank you for the review, the ending didn't sit right with me either so thank you for pointing it ou.. read more
SleeplessVolcano

5 Years Ago

No worries - it is very hard. If you look at your verbs from the beginning, they are all past tense.. read more

Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe

Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5

Stats

256 Views
2 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 6, 2018
Last Updated on November 5, 2018
Tags: love, poem, feelings

Author

Mr Alednac
Mr Alednac

CA



About
I like to write scary stories, funny stories, and the occasional love poem. more..

Writing