Of Friends Lost

Of Friends Lost

A Poem by ReadsAtDances
"

A poem for friends of the past.

"
I haven't talked to you in a while.
But there are things I need to say.
I must tell them now, for soon
we will each have gone a different way.

Do you ever wonder what happened,
those many years ago?
We were the best of friends, but now,
I feel you are almost a foe.

Was the fault mine, and
do you blame me?
For the death of our friendship
which always felt meant to be?

I thought it was simple.
We just grew apart.
But in leaving you,
did I hurt your heart?

I am sorry, my past friends,
For any grief I have caused you.
And want you to know that
I feel that same sorrow, too.

I will always mourn the deaths
of friendships I will sever.
Instead I wish that our friendships 
had lasted forever.

© 2015 ReadsAtDances


Author's Note

ReadsAtDances
Reviews and advice would be greatly appreciated! I wasn't totally convinced about the last stanza, so tips on that would be great!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

Its a really good read and perhaps you have already changed the last stanza already as I think it flows well?

Posted 3 Years Ago


ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Thanks for the review! I haven't actually changed the last stanza, but I'm glad you liked it!
This is touching but beautiful. Nice rhyme scheme, too. I have suggestions for your last stanza-- You can chose from "death of friendship" or "friendship that we sever" so it will not sound redundant since death is closer to sever which means to cut off like:

I will always mourn and weep
For this friendship that we sever
I wish you were here with me
With a love that lasts forever

Well-done!


Posted 3 Years Ago


ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Thank you for the review and feedback! Looking back on it, the last stanza is redundant, and I reall.. read more
This was really well written! It's pretty touching too and I could personally relate to the poem's theme. I actually liked the last stanza. If there was anything I would change, it would be the last line of the 5th stanza. It didn't feel as "natural" of a rhyme as the other rhyming pairs. Overall, keep up the good work!

Posted 3 Years Ago


ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Thanks for the great review! I did notice that fifth stanza sounded kind of weird, and I moved aroun.. read more
This is a really touching poem. The rhyme scheme is ABCB (correct me if I'm wrong) and there is meaning behind every stanza which works well with the rhymes. I don't think there is anything to change from the last stanza, but I do have a suggestion: I will always mourn the deaths of friendships lost, Instead I'll do anything and restore it at any cost. I know it's a bit simple but writing poetry has never been my strong point. To finish it off though, a true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg - even if youre slightly cracked. :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Thanks for the review and kind words! I like the stanza that you wrote, and like the idea of ending .. read more
A.Jaffery

3 Years Ago

Very punny

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

296 Views
4 Reviews
Added on November 30, 2015
Last Updated on December 1, 2015

Author

ReadsAtDances
ReadsAtDances

A corn field in, IA



About
Hi! I love to read, and I really want to work on improving my writing. Disclaimer: I don't actually read at dances, as the name implies, but if you get the book reference, I definitely want to talk to.. more..

Writing