There Is a Place

Dark poem

There is a place in the barren mind,

Where imagination dares break free.

Taking flight to Oz and Neverland,

Fantasies only the blind dare see.

 

There is a place in the battered soul,

Where yearning and hope endure.

Desperate whispering, silent pleading,

Painted in shades of dark azure.

 

There is a place in the wounded spirit,

That buffers a wee small flame.

While each gasp and every ragged breath,

Cries out in angst-wrought shame.

 

There is a place in the wintry heart,

Where love and joy once thrived.

Sweet memories, cloaked in mockery,

From such is dark verse derived.

Author's Note

I have no idea where the darkness comes from...I don't see myself as a dark or depressed person. Maybe I manage to puke it all out in my poetry...one can only hope, I guess. :)

Reviews

[Vria P Crow]

Darkness can be overwhelming yet beautiful. "There is a Place" was a prime example of such beauty. Subjectively, the mind is made up of countless "corners." Imagination and creation can be terrifying when we become mini Gods; this adds responsibility. I feel that our words are children when the escape us and into prose or poetry. I do not consider this to be a depressing poem. Observation came to mind as I read it; there is romanticism behind your word choice such as "dark verse." Even the most horrid subject matter can be a masterpiece.

Thank you for sharing.

[ReedWrite]

Thank you, Ria, for this beautiful and insightful review. Appreciate it very much.

[Vria P Crow]

You are very welcome.

[andrew mitchell]

A beautiful write in all its glory being somewhat dark and mysterious but don't we all have these dark places from which words come as a surprise. The exciting part is getting it down on paper before it all vanishes.:) lovely work!

[ReedWrite]

Thank you, Mitchell! I think we all have those dark places. How can you live too many years on this earth and not have a few scars, laced with pain? Yes, the exciting part is getting it down...finding a way to purge through the written word...it is cathartic, for sure. Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

[andrew mitchell]

you are welcome.:)

[sandpiper]

hey, this is cool :).

I think this stanza is a little weak..

There is a place in the battered soul,
Where yearning and hope endure.
Desperate whispering, silent pleading,
Painted in shades of dark azure.

I'm not sure how, the word usage and rhythm and the line 'desperate whispering, silent pleading' seems a little clunky.

The last stanza is very strong :) well done!

All in all i really appreicate this and I think the relationship between emotions and physical spaces and places is interesting and makes for a dynamic reading experience. Great stuff!

[ReedWrite]

Thank you Sandpiper. I'll rethink that stanza. There might be better wording to make it flow more smoothly. I appreciate that you took time to read and comment.

[Lorry]

Whatever it is and wherever it comes from, keep your pen close by, for when it does wander in unannounced. You may just have hit the nail on the head with your authors note. Whenever I feel the darkness creep into me, it always brings some release to put even one thought it brings onto paper. I only wish I could capture it as beautifully as you have done so here.

[ReedWrite]

NEMO! You make me blush! Your words are humbling. Thank you so much for taking time to review this piece and comment. Your reviews always make me smile. Thank you, my friend.

[Lorry]

You are most welcome my friend. :)

[Bear]

I love dark poetry because you can't really understand and appreciate the good and happy unless you have experienced the bad and sad side of life. This shows your able to submerge yourself in the darkness without sacrificing your intellectual integrity. It is very apparent that you are a master wordsmith, I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Bravo! I give it five out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[ReedWrite]

LOL...thank you for that 5 out of 5. Now sure if I should blush or bow. I'm not close to master wordsmith, but I love trying to grow and mature in the art. Thank you so much for your beautiful review, Bear.

[Jacob Clifford]

I don't see this poem as all that dark. It's very thought provoking, and it held my attention.

[ReedWrite]

Thank you, Clifford. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Reba]

Beautiful beautiful beautiful!! I absolutely love this one. It kinda describes me. I can really relate to it. I wish I could write like this. I've always wanted to capture beautiful words so it sounds poetic without making it confusing to follow. This is perfect! Well done. Beautiful!

[ReedWrite]

Thank you so much, Reba. I love that you love it. I started writing poetry when I was thirteen, but I wrote it as songs. My father taught me guitar when I was twelve, and I picked it up quickly, and by the time I was thirteen, I was writing music, but only for me. Never brave enough to share it...still...you learn as you go/grow. Reading good poetry from current writers, as well as the classics, helps a lot. Subscribe to word a day...I still do after all these years...to build vocabulary. There is a cool online sight I sometimes use to rhyme, that helps too: http://www.rhymer.com/

[Reba]

Thank you!! You are very helpful. I've shared a few on like Facebook but other than that I've never shared anything with anyone. I joined writers cafe a few days ago and I'm really glad I did. I think this experience will be good for me.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow....i don't see this as dark, necessarily...but then, i just visited my dad yesterday at a memory care unit...

we chatted quite awhile..part of him is lost with his memory...but the wheels are still trying to turn...

and he remembers bits and pieces---there is still some kind of imagination going on there, i am sure of it.

i related totally to this piece...

and love it...thank you for posting this with your perfect timing.

[ReedWrite]

Thank you, Jacob. I'm glad the timing was good for you. I don't think the mind ever stops, although some minds turn inward as they reach a certain age in life. We don't see the wheels turning as easily anymore more, but they are. Again, thank you for the review.

[Wondering Mind]

Cleverly weaved expressions-'ragged breath' made me feel it in my lungs.
To your note, I believe that our minds have a shared experience of the original Mind; that's where imagination, ideas, creativity come from...

[ReedWrite]

Thank you, Wondering. That's an interesting concept...the original Mind. I like that. Thank you for the review.

[Tessa]

very descriptive, i enjoyed reading this. good job :)

[ReedWrite]

Glad you enjoyed it, Tessa. Thank you for the review.

[Anonymous]

So I love this poem, but I hate your author's note. So you wrote this as more of an allagory and less as a literal truth, so what, half the fun of writing (and reading) darker poetry is that mystery of what's real and what's made up. I think your note took away from an otherewise wonderful and intriguing piece. And I hate to sound like I'm nagging at you, but your note basically read as an apology, no writer should ever apologize for having feelings and expressing them on paper (in my humble opinion, lol)

[ReedWrite]

LOL...thank you, I think. I tend to write darker poetry...but it is what it is, I guess. You're right. No writer should ever apologize for what they pen. I appreciate that you took the time to read and review this piece. Thank you.