Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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The Beautiful Miss

The Beautiful Miss

A Poem by Revery

That moment

 

That one shining moment

 

I saw you

 

Not for the first time

 

but I saw you

 

Now

 

The air was alive

 

One of those mornings

 

where the sun

 

danced through

 

large sanctuary windows.

 

You!

 

You were glorious

 

The sun dress,

 

The dancer’s posture

 

The long stunning hair

 

You were stunning

 

perfection! 

 

It was the moment

 

That changed everything

 

Now

 

Race across the years

 

The daisies

 

The kiss in the rain

 

The vows

 

The babies

 

And

 

You and me. 

© 2013 Revery


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Reviews

A beautifully written piece here....full of warm sentiment and love for another...something that warms my heart as I read this....I'm picturing a couple comfortably gazing into each others eyes, holding hands and laughing....:)

I like the way you've used Now and You in this poem too....these words seem to temporarily stop the reader and make them think a little...and then on with the flow....good technique I think...

Thanks for sharing...:)

BB

Posted 10 Years Ago


Revery

10 Years Ago

Wow BB, what an excellent review. Thank you so much.
A love story in captured syllables that flows like the wind on a Sunday morning grand. This is definitely love at its perfect form. This had a nice feel and its very own heart beat. Very nice indeed.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Revery

11 Years Ago

Thank you sir. It's a true story and still playing out everyday.
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CS
This is honest poetry, Rev. The most beautiful words are the ones that are sincere and real. That is what makes "I love you" so powerful. We only need three words to make someone understand just how we feel. This is a simple but meaningful poem. When we love, no matter how many years pass, they are always that person we first met. It is always like we are looking at them for the first time. Lovely work, my friend.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Revery

11 Years Ago

Thanks Courtney. This write was more from the heart than composed. Didn't even try to make it some.. read more
The daisies, perchance a reference to the flowers the beautiful one wears in her hair, as was the fashion in the 60's.
"blast" is wrong.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Pól

11 Years Ago

ed is fine- but blast (imho) doesn't match the gentle flow of this work- I'd go for a simple "shone".. read more
Revery

11 Years Ago

I like danced. Thank you.
Pól

11 Years Ago

Np
Who is she I wonder. She is one lucky Miss!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Revery

11 Years Ago

The one, my life long lover, my wife. Thank you dear
loved the transition from slow to fast, from lingering upon one moment to fast tracking many.

on a lightet note..it's frightening how the babies follow the vows so quick...glad you had that order there :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Revery

11 Years Ago

Thank you P.J. The poem it's self came out with little to no labor pains. An easy birth from the h.. read more
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TLK
An excellent sense of time here. The pregnant fullness of the moment is captured, to begin with, using repetition ("moment" / "shining moment"), short sentences as exclamations amidst the ponderousness of longer description. It is a moment preserved in amber.

Then, of course, the "race across the years" is encountered breathlessly (no punctuation).

This is really written in order to engender the same experience in the reader. Extremely pleasing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Revery

11 Years Ago

Thank you TLK, I love your review, how you touch upon facets of my style.
TLK

11 Years Ago

When reading this poem, there is nothing to comment on but style.
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Mia
This is beautiful!
"That moment
That one shining moment
I saw you
Not for the first time
but I saw you
Now"
I love that. I also really liked the way you repeated the word now. Emphasizing the importance of that one moment when everything changed. We friendship love changed to being in love. This is superb!


Posted 11 Years Ago


Revery

11 Years Ago

Thank you mia! :)
Wonderful Imagery Produced Here! I swear I could have been there to see it myself. Also very endearing write.Enjoyed reading it especially the last several lines...perfection!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Revery

11 Years Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed it, I had fun writing it. Thank you

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1154 Views
40 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on August 19, 2012
Last Updated on February 4, 2013

Author

Revery
Revery

TN



About
I am a technical writer by profession. I'm married with three wonderful children. My poetry deals with the struggles and contrasts between the spiritual and the sensual. My life has been rich and bl.. more..

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