Fracture

Death has struck again.

My body is not mine 

My soul a disentanglement 

My mind is fractured 

My thoughts; I cannot channel them 

Though I am here and breathing, 

I am heartbroken and seething 

Because I may be alive and well 

But you still lay where you fell 

I am happy that you were with me 

For as long as you could 

I'll always love you 

You know I do 

But something that I can't forgive 

Is that you didn't take me with you

Author's Note

Yet another piece of writing I wrote just after a funeral. This particular one was for my great-Granddad who passed in July. I'm not very good at writing with rhyme so if it doesn't work, I probably already know about it...

Reviews

[Lizardo]

A poem doesn't necersaly have to rhyme, the best thing about the poem is the message you want to give.
I'm sorry about your great-granddad, I'm really sorry.
The poem is really good,
''But something that I can't forgive
Is that you didn't take me with you''
Really deep poem...

[Rhia Barton]

Thank you for the review and for your sympathies.

[Nisreen]

Waw
i know this a sad write
but you really bring the reader close to your mind and every thought
how broken one feels when someone dear passes away .......

[Hannah Grace]

I find this a very beautiful piece that once again you have written. I am truly sorry for your loss, but I will say that when we write from an experience such as yours ,we actually WRITE with voice. This piece is a great example of this. Great Job!
~Hannah Grace

[Usman Muhammad]

The message of the the poem is really good and makes the reader to think about those whom he loves most.
Last two lines are pretty sad, as they take you to the world of loneliness, where there is no one beside you.
Your Granddad would be proud of you for writing with such emotions for him
Keep writing

[Tom]

A short but powerfully penned emotive poem, final farewells are always difficult especially when that person was so close in life !

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am deeply sorry for your great-Grandad. He should be a man for you, who would be the greatest man who ever walked on earth. Let me add

" Dead is the person, who has no one to remember him"

But, how can your great-Grandad be dead, if there is lovely poem like this and written by a poet like you?

A great tribute. Keep writing!

Devanshu

[B. Hudson]

Enjoyed reading, especially love the title you gave. Very sorry for your loss. Beautiful poem

[Rhia Barton]

Thank you for the kind words and for the review!

[Moonlight]

Beautiful and deep poem. I agree with Lizardo. A poem doesn't necessarily need to rhyme. The most important is the message it delivers. And your poems, they are right from where they should be... Right from the heart. And, again, I am really sorry about your great- granddad.

-Moonlight.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

my mom passed last september...i relate to this feeling...

those left behind feel the loss...those who pass, move on...surely their love remains in our hearts.
first two lines of second stanza really struck me.....

jacob

[Rhia Barton]

Thank you for the kind words and review.

[Gee]

Nice.You're far to young to be popping off anywhere.Doesn't have a consistent rhyme,doesn't need it.Leave the simple rhyming stuff to us simple folk

[Rhia Barton]

Wow, literally just reviewed one of yours as well. Thank you very much for the review! And yeah, 2014 was a particularly difficult year, about July time it was a bit like "Well, what's the point?" In any case, thank you!

[Gee]

You're most welcome