Prisoner

Prisoner

A Poem by Rhianne Ney
"

part two of Paper Planes

"
Imprisoned because of murder,
I only have a month to live,
I'm not expecting anything but death,
Until I saw her.

Because we can't communicate,
She sent me a paper plane.
The feeling of rough paper in my hands was lingering.
Her letters has given me hope for tomorrow.

I fell in love with her,
With her encouraging words,
She's the only one who appreciated me.

Until I die, I wont forget
The shine of your eyes and the shimmer of your hair,
The unspoken words that reached me,
And that smile that gave me my future.

© 2012 Rhianne Ney


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Author's Note

Rhianne Ney
please point out anything that i should revise...
to understand this better you may consider reading the first part of it...
this is Vocaloid inspired...

My Review

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Featured Review

Great job rendering this song in poem format! I've heard both songs associated with this, and I have to say that you managed to convey a similar bitter-sweetness in this short but heart-tugging poem. I loved the switch from third to second person, it really accented the prisoner's (I refer to the narrator) passion for his love. You are truly a talented poet!

Also: "Her letters has given me hope for tomorrow." Should it be 'have' instead of 'has'?

すばらしい!!/100

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

Yeah, thanks I'll take a note to that



Reviews

Wonderful peace! It's one of my favorites out of the poems you've written. As I've said before, you are very talented for such a young age.
"The unspoken words that reached me"
brilliant

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

thanks, Ally I haven't seen you for awhile... long time, no see
'Until I die, I wont forget
The shine of your eyes and the shimmer of your hair,'

That's really a lovely set of lines there. You're very good at poetry, miss! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

thanks for the review (:
Alexandria Reece

9 Years Ago

You're very welcome :)
it's a nice poem , i at least i like it very much

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

thanks for stopping by and reading (:

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753 Views
13 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on September 1, 2012
Last Updated on September 1, 2012
Tags: prisoner, paper plane, murder, kagamine len, rin, vocaloid

Author

Rhianne Ney
Rhianne Ney

Baguio City, the city of cold temperature, Philippines



About
So there I'm back from the depths of High School Life and can now post anything possible. --- Notice: To some book supporters, I deleted all of them for some issues that I have to battle right no.. more..

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