Prisoner

part two of Paper Planes

Imprisoned because of murder,
I only have a month to live,
I'm not expecting anything but death,
Until I saw her.

Because we can't communicate,
She sent me a paper plane.
The feeling of rough paper in my hands was lingering.
Her letters has given me hope for tomorrow.

I fell in love with her,
With her encouraging words,
She's the only one who appreciated me.

Until I die, I wont forget
The shine of your eyes and the shimmer of your hair,
The unspoken words that reached me,
And that smile that gave me my future.

Author's Note

please point out anything that i should revise...
to understand this better you may consider reading the first part of it...
this is Vocaloid inspired...

Reviews

[Writer #00]

Great job rendering this song in poem format! I've heard both songs associated with this, and I have to say that you managed to convey a similar bitter-sweetness in this short but heart-tugging poem. I loved the switch from third to second person, it really accented the prisoner's (I refer to the narrator) passion for his love. You are truly a talented poet!

Also: "Her letters has given me hope for tomorrow." Should it be 'have' instead of 'has'?

すばらしい！！/100

[Rhianne Ney]

Yeah, thanks I'll take a note to that

[Allycat]

Wonderful peace! It's one of my favorites out of the poems you've written. As I've said before, you are very talented for such a young age.
"The unspoken words that reached me"
brilliant

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks, Ally I haven't seen you for awhile... long time, no see

[Alexandria Reece]

'Until I die, I wont forget
The shine of your eyes and the shimmer of your hair,'

That's really a lovely set of lines there. You're very good at poetry, miss! :)

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for the review (:

[Alexandria Reece]

You're very welcome :)

[TheAdamBryant]

it's a nice poem , i at least i like it very much

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for stopping by and reading (: