About me...

About me...

A Poem by Rhianne Ney
"

part of me actually

"
I sing in the shower only,
The four walls admire its beauty,
This is my stage,
Created by an delusional mage.

I danced in my room,
Stepped on my foot and boom,
Laughing while lying upside down,
Breaking my own crown.

I speak in front of the mirror,
Imagining a shining armor,
With a sword in my hand,
Conquering an enchanted land.

I beat the drums in the air,
Loving the bounce of my hair,
A music in my brain,
Playing again and again.

I put my thoughts on paper,
I am my world's creator,
With this, they will always remember
That someone like me exists.

© 2013 Rhianne Ney


Author's Note

Rhianne Ney

My Review

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Featured Review

A beautiful piece. I always like poems about oneself because before anyone else, we should know ourselves.

I only have few suggestions here. You have the rhyming aabb from the first up to the fourth stanza. But I found out that you broke it in the last one with abac format.

I think it would be better if:

"I put my thoughts on paper,
I am my world's designer,
With this, they will always reminisce
That someone like me exists."

I hope this would enhance this piece. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

Sure, thanks for that (:



Reviews

I liked this because it tells of different things about how you are while you're alone. I think the true person and true character of everyone is expressed when no one is there to see.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

that's right, even the darkest secrets... ;D
I love how all over the place it is. I love poems like these. Where you can dissect each line and it can mean something different if you want it to.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

thanks for the review...
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Pax
wow, it speaks of you brilliantly
wonderful rhyming fits really well of what you meant.
great!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

thanks i think it was quite an epic fail... I tried to place a rhyme
Pax

9 Years Ago

no, its great.. keep it up
Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

Thanks...
awesome work :D And sometimes I sing in the shower too xD

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

Yah.... Welcome to the Golden singers group ;D lol
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.
Great flow and rhytm! 100/100 This is always gonna lay in my library!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

thanks for reading and reviewing ;D
.

9 Years Ago

You're welcome! :)
i really loved this part
I speak in front of the mirror,
Imagining a shining armor,
With a sword in my hand,
Conquering an enchanted land
i felt like a soldier from 1300 , this poem is AMAZING

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

thanks for the like ;D
*feeling like its Facebook*
Excellent! You have captured a wonderful vignette of youthful exuberance and the joy of living in the moment; of being who you are and reveling in it. I ask only that you add an 's' to the very last word of the very last line; if it pleases you to do so. I think it would read a little better. Thank you, Rhianne! :o)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

Sure.. ;D
A very good description of a interesting person. Good to enjoy life and know what you want and need. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

thanks for the review... I really appreciate it ;D
nice...liking the imagery it creates...see some like u does exist

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

I'm glad ;D

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1873 Views
44 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 6 Libraries
Added on September 8, 2012
Last Updated on March 27, 2013

Author

Rhianne Ney
Rhianne Ney

Baguio City, the city of cold temperature, Philippines



About
So there I'm back from the depths of High School Life and can now post anything possible. --- Notice: To some book supporters, I deleted all of them for some issues that I have to battle right no.. more..

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