Love? I beg to differ

Love? I beg to differ

A Poem by Rhianne Ney
"

Please don't make me feel this

"

Seems like the wind will change today

A new destination in the month of May

Beginning with the small petals of a beautiful flower

Alas! I hope my resistance won’t falter

 

Please, oh please, don’t ever come this way

My heart will throb and go crazy

I won’t handle my head if it goes hazy

 Don’t let the butterflies flutter in disarray

 

I told myself, I will never fall

Survive your challenge; I’ve been through it all

Yet, what’s with this rebel inside?

It wants me to think again and decide

 

No! I plead, love isn’t something for me

I might not be able to break free

I’ve hated puzzling things to begin with

Please leave me the leisure to breathe.

© 2013 Rhianne Ney


Author's Note

Rhianne Ney
Another random write! This is something I thought of while I was having lunch on Mcdo.
My first draft was written on a receipt (: Which I wasn't able to finish. Any suggestions are fine. This is still in free verse despite the rhyme so I'm so sorry about that. Anyways, read at your own leisure

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Featured Review

Aho, so that's what took you so long o.e

But that aside you seem to have grown a lot. Well at least its apparent in this poem. Needless to say it was an enjoyable read though I have to comment that the font size is a tad bit large... or not

Ehem... ano iyan ha? Kaw talaga :3

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

11 Years Ago

Hahah, wala lang eto iyong sinulat ko sa blue notebook yung tinanong mo last time (:
Katherine Enma Pineapple

11 Years Ago

oho~ I see... I was waiting forever alone in the LA room T^T
Rhianne Ney

11 Years Ago

Haha, sorry ha (:P



Reviews

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Tea
I love it it's beautifuly done

:)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tea

11 Years Ago

lol :)
Rhianne Ney

11 Years Ago

Lolz (:
Tea

11 Years Ago

:)
I found it rather interesting good job

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

11 Years Ago

Thanks for reading again (:
Not bad. I think the ending is a little slow and expected. You use some good imagery here, but your message is a little unclear, and that makes the whole piece come across as unfocused.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

11 Years Ago

Thanks for reading and I'll try to fix that when I'm on my right writer senses already
Well I think you have made a great job of this...you need to change a little..just a problem with the tense on line4....It really should be Alas I hope my resistance WON'T falter,,,surely..or HOPED it WOULDN'T

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

11 Years Ago

I'll change that, thank you, Sir
Hi Rhianne, So this is the reciept poem? Did not like the large red lettering but that is not the poetry just found it annoying. The poem is good and flows but needs a little crafting to make it better. I think it should say 'in' the month of May and perhaps not repeat the line in the next stanza. The final stanza does need crafting to get it right. The message seems mixed. On one hand she seems to be saying she can't make him happy on the other that she doesn't want him?

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

11 Years Ago

Thank you, Sir. I also want to improve my writing and this Wednesday, I feel some yearning to read a.. read more
John Alexander McFadyen

11 Years Ago

I understand. Keep writing and reading though as often as you may.
Rhianne Ney

11 Years Ago

You're welcome, Sir and thank you again

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1679 Views
35 Reviews
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Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on March 27, 2013
Last Updated on March 28, 2013
Tags: love, no, please
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Author

Rhianne Ney
Rhianne Ney

Baguio City, the city of cold temperature, Philippines



About
So there I'm back from the depths of High School Life and can now post anything possible. --- Notice: To some book supporters, I deleted all of them for some issues that I have to battle right no.. more..

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