Relationship Help: Does being right make it right?A Story by Rhoberta Shaler PHDOh, we all like to be right, don’t we? Even if we keep the smug “I told you so” to ourselves, we like being right. We need relationship help for sure when things deteriorate in your relationship to just wanting to be right. In a recent Relationship Insights class, this came up when a participant said,
Wow, what a loaded question! First of all, he firmly believed he was right so there was really no room for discussion. He was just humoring her by even conversing with her. it seemed. Then, he expanded it to suggest that he is always right. And, then, to make it even less helpful, he suggested she does not deserve time to think about things. Big issues here. If you have a need to be right, you’ve got some work to do! None of us are right all the time. That’s for sure. But, many of us are raised to be perfectionistic, and that requires thinking that we CAN and, perhaps, should be right all the time. For those folks, like myself, who were brought up that good enough was not good enough, we have the opportunity of becoming more realistic about life and a little easier on ourselves. The fellow in my class really needs to be able to make a mistake and not think the world is going to fall down around his ears…permanently. The relationship help he needs at this time is to be able to listen to his partner’s point of view with an open mind. When your mind is filled with being right, it’s awfully hard to let anything else in. So, a few helpful thoughts:
Remember, there are a lot of places along the way between the
extremes of right and wrong. I hope your relationship is more important
than being right!
© 2012 Rhoberta Shaler PHD |
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Added on July 11, 2012 Last Updated on July 11, 2012 Tags: Relationship help, relationship, relationship at work, love, negotiation AuthorRhoberta Shaler PHDcalifonia, CAAboutRhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor, makes it easier to talk about difficult things. Founder of Sow Peace® and The Optimize Institute & Center, she works with couples and teams worl.. more..Writing
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