Written with air ... (dolor)

Free Verse

Written with air …

There may come a time
when thoughts dissipate,
like frost that lingered
as lace on green blades;
and, like early dew,
you are no longer here,
inside my mind, my soul ...
my heart unthawed
by life's sun bowing  out,

in abjured encore.

Where have our moments gone,
those that called us out to dance,
to warmly embrace it all,
to revel in laughter's afterglow,
shining with tears of forgiveness;
and, what of all the gold we shared,
our hours spent
in ethereal lovemaking?

I knew you - oh so well ...
the child inside,
the woman of you, too,
and all that life called us to be,
together ~
in the spark of eternal
forevermore.

Our days and nights,
spent wrapped in splendor,
thrust together,
entwined like vines
with insatiable fingers ...
swimming your pools
of endless depth,
those verdant portals
into your soul.

It is as though ...
a mystical wand passed over us,
and like the sigh
of a baby's first breath ...
here, in soft feathered touch,
... shhh!

Gone now,
forevermore ...
as if we, You and I,
were merely ~
Written with air.


Richard W. Jenkins
©2016

Not my best work, I know, but I needed to say something that felt real,
exactly as it crossed my heart ... I know you understand.
I didn't even stop to check for spelling ...

so very much unlike me ... LOL!
Any help is welcomed.

Author's Note

Illustration: Wikimedia Commons

Yeah, I know, it needs something … any help will be appreciated. : )

Reviews

[lovelymarina]

The vivid imagery in this one was so alluring... made me want to keep reading...and the ending was the best part. "As if we, You and I, were merely, Written with air" That line struck me. You are so talented at guiding the reader to feel every word spoken in your poetry. Another masterpiece!
Marina

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Marina Dear, most humbly and gratefully.💫

Soon enough, M'Lady, graciously compelling words, such as yours, will adorn every review on every piece your enthralling pen can bestow.

You make me want to reread every poem you've reviewed, just to know how wonderful they must be.
Miles of cozy smiles! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[alan peter kelly]

Phenomenal assonance here and I'd rather be wrapped in splendour than in yesterday's newspaper.

[Richard🖌]

Thanks, again, Alan!

Yes, I can certainly see your point … LOL! ⁓ Richard

[Renée]

Mr. Jenkins,
Regarding your author's note:
I think I have found a little detail you need to address..some clean hankies, for those of us reading.
I was going to suggest a warning label, but then I looked up dolor and sure enough, you had one.
You wield your pen and thoughts equal, to a great wizard casting spells.

[Richard🖌]

Dear Lady Renée,
You've shined a sweet glow into the darkness of early morning, gifting this rugged mug a smile of joy that warms my heart ever-so sweetly.

Cozy thank you hugs … MMmmm! ⁓ Richard

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

Sir, this poem of yours is likable and well-written. You are plunged in the memory of your separated lover- you have described everything beautifully with nice comparisons. Similes- entwined like vines, when thoughts dissipate like frost that lingered as lace on green blade- very beautiful and they add to imagery.
And, a very good- though sad- ending
"Gone now,
forevermore ...
as if we, You and I,
were merely ~
Written with air."
Glad you shared the poem.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you so very much, Vatsal,
It is encouraging and pleasing to know you like this piece, and that you consider it "well-written".
Your praise and expressed enjoyment and appreciation for this poem set the very morning aglow with warmest gratification for my earnest efforts to share and please my poet friends, in some meaningful way they can understand and relate to.
Your compliments and praise more than compensate for the price of opening my heart in hopes someone will hear its voice … many smiles 'n blessings to you, My Friend! ⁓ Richard

[Sheila Kline]

The quote you have chosen by Leonardo Da Vinci that speaks of poetry as that which is felt seems fitting for your words as you express that this is not your best work but that it is written exactly as it crossed your heart, so I am drawn to this particular poem after reading several of your other pieces because it is the emotion that has made it reach into my spirit and grab at my heartstrings. You have captured the essence of loving another and realizing the time when they are no longer a complete part of us. The mystical wand no longer waves, days and nights are now spent alone, but still filled with the memory and essence of that person, that love, that "all of all" that once was such a vital part of you. The child that was inside this lovely being has grown up, but now gone leaving you to perhaps cry as a child.
I truly feel the heartbeat of your words as well as the tears spilled for wanting once more that which is no longer to "be".
What could possibly be added to make it better, and you indicate it needs something - I say not. It is beautiful!
O' air of the night and day
Please do not stay yet away!
Come! Softly blow cross me now.
Renew then my lover's vow
To ever be one with me.
Yes! Mine for eternity!

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Sheila!
It's a true rarity to receive a review nearly as deeply rewarding, gratifying, or embracing as yours.
Your endearing poem, almost a proposal … whom could resist? ; )
Your insights and conclusions of this piece are uncannily accurate; so much so I feel as though you've flowed into my being and seen through my own eyes and heart.

Bountiful blessings 'n warmest hugss, Sheila! ⁓ Richard

[Sheila Kline]

May I take the liberty to expand the final words I have penned in response to yours and post them as a poem? I should like to tell that they are inspired by your lovely words! Perhaps you would like to add a few more, or offer a suggestion for additional thoughts. You are such a romantic that the essence of your words easily inspires one to expand..........in such a nice, nice way!

[Richard🖌]

Aye; yet, might eternity e'er pass
upon these star-crossed lad 'n lass,
nay shalt sweet lustiness they share;
for, ne'er could their heartbeats bare
to lose such ardent love as this …
sealed tightly 'pon a warm, wet kiss.

(Sheila, I shan't deny a lady's request …
tho, far less than your elaborate verse,
mine humble off'ring's, thy poetic behest;
thinketh thou,"Could it be worse?" LOL!)

[B. Boileau]

This is what happens when you master your craft. Without thought of the very things you have helped me with, you pen this. The need to let your quill and ink flow freely often produces the best pieces, and that is my only critique, it is every bit as the best of your work, besides the emotion, the content, and the flow, it is real. THAT'S what makes it amoungts your best Welcome to the dark side Richard my friend, that heart you wear on your sleeve is showing.

[Richard🖌]

Many grateful thanks, Bill!
After reading each reviewer's take on this one, I'm beginning to believe it's my imagination that keeps poking me to figure out what it needs, but we both know it's not perfect, eh? Still, I suppose there is a point where one should say, "Enough!" and consider a work (at least suitably) finished.
I must agree with all you've said about this piece of romantic pain and grief, and I suppose to write real-feeling emotional poems, one has to wear their heart on their sleeve to some extent, or their efforts would not be taken seriously or related to in adequate degree.
It seems most of us artistic types seldom believe our work is finished, so I'll digress to your judgment and leave this one alone (for the time being) … LOL!
Thanks so much, Bill, for reading this for me and leaving such a thoughtful review, and most certainly for your inspiring compliments! ⁓ Richard

[mattavelli]

Hey, Richard, what's missing?
I think its beautiful, the thoughts of loss alongside the joys. The whole write feels like an ache that's too deep to rub out.

[Richard🖌]

"DANG!"

Matt,
I've really gotten behind in commenting on reviews, and I see this Free Verse piece has your and several others I never knew about until looking through my poems … seems the site has lost my email address for notices. :/ I'll have to address that with Administration.
Meanwhile, I agree with your assessment, as far as it goes, and I most certainly appreciate your compliments, too; yet, though everyone seems to agree with you, it just feels it's missing "something? … that's why I asked for any help it could be given, and it may be nothing but my penchant for perfection that keeps nudging me, all the time knowing there is no such thing. Still, I not giving-up … LOL!
Thank you, My Fine friend, for reading and gifting this one your good eye! ⁓ Richard

[Roland Petrov]

For me, this is an excellent work precisely because it feels real and comes from the heart. No need to apologize for that!

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Roland, for sharing your thoughts, feelings, and sentiments of this simple little piece, and certainly for your encouraging praise … it is as though you've inspired me to shine this olde pen and have another go right now!
Yes, you are quite correct, My Friend, it did come from the heart; yet, as a Free Verse composition, it just feels as though there should be more (something?), but who am I to water down such a beautiful review with my incessant quest for the perfect verse, eh?
Smiles and many thanks again, Roland … bless you, all your days! ⁓ Richard

[h d e rushin]

In our younger days, when we danced and drank and laughed, we just cant embrace any of it as
memory, not when it is so fresh in our doing of it. Sometimes my mother, after her Prilosec and
Gaviscon kicks in, will recall how her and my father would dance to the big band sounds of
Count Basie and Billie Eckstein. Then she takes her seat in front of the television to watch
"Wheel of Fortune". It's as if her memory of those events were written with air and written on air,
since air is metaphor for the medium that memory rides along. (excellent)

But this is a love poem Richard, not just a poem of intense recollection. And being a love poem
it is both universal and timeless; " as though a mystical wand passed over us" and made us speak
again, of what had happened. Beautifully written...dana

[Richard🖌]

Gosh, Dana!
From the beautiful composition of your words, alone, you've bade me sigh with a deep sense of being softly and tenderly touched throughout.
How caring and wonderful of you to share your thoughts, feelings, and reactions in how this easy little poem effected you, and relating such a sentient part of yours and your dear mother's life, warmed me to the core.
Thank you, Dear Dana, for your glowing presence, praise, and appreciation expressed … I feel as though I've just been graced … warmest hugs to You! ⁓ Richard

[Ed Hart]

a good poem leaves heart blood on the page, as this, and lays a blessing on us, as this...what else do we really have to share than what we love and what loves us, now or then...a sweet sadness here...thank you

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Ed!
It is such a pleasure to receive your presence on my pages, as-well, your words in praise, understanding, and encouragement to another of my earnest efforts.
You are most welcome, My Friend … I humbly and gratefully thank you, too! ⁓ Richard

[David Scott]

This is how I usually write Richard. I just start putting my feelings into words and let the poetry fall like a snow flake condensing from atmosphere within my being in the moment.
Personally, I found the poetry highly intuitive and universally expressive.
I think many readers will respond well to this very lovely write. Thank you for sharing.

[Richard🖌]

Gosh, David!
You are most welcome, My Friend, and I most gratefully thank you.
How on earth did I ever miss your excellent review for this hopefully drawn-out verse for so long?
My days are just too filled with … well, you know, and I need to spend more time here commenting, enjoying reviews, reading, and reviewing my fellow-poets' splendid works.
Genuinely, your insightful commentary, appreciation, and knowing praise are far more than I think this one deserves, but I'm keeping them … LOL!
Yes, David, I can see the same free-flowing styles in much of your works I see in my own … we are of the same feather, no doubt!
A bushel basket of thanks to You for visiting and enjoying my humble efforts! ⁓ Richard

[David Scott]

Never worry. The reviews are simply a thank you for experiencing your poetry. I'm not sure I'm in your league, but I do think we poets share many experiences the other 97% of the world would not relate to as well. :)

[Richard🖌]

Ya know, David?
You could be right! ; )