How Parting Feels (tender sadness)

Form: SYNERGY (see Author's Note for details)

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                    How Parting Feels....

               

                        In rocking dips and swirlings ’round,

                        until all cast laid on cold ground …

                        my mind, it traveled to times passed,

                        each leaf I watched meand’ring down

                        laid on cold ground, until all cast.

                        Ne’er those like us, my darling, last.

                        

                       'Neath moonlight's pull tides rise and fall,

                        trees thrust from earth grow strong and tall.

                        New stars in heavens gifted birth,

                        songbirds in flight our souls enthrall.

                        Grow strong and tall, trees thrust from earth;

                        yet, failing asked, “What's it all worth?”

                        

                        Then, somewhere softly….farrr away,

                        a whispered voice began to pray.

                        To hear its psalm I had no choice;

                        tho’ tried, I could not turn away.

                        Began to pray, a whispered voice,

                       “Ere I depart, once more rejoice!”

                        Our sad hearts leapt to wing-ed flight,

                        dull Stygian air tuned golden bright.

                       'Twas nearly more than we could bare;

                        still, as we sang throughout the night,

                        turned golden bright, dull Stygian air …

                        we had now shared -- all we could share.

                        Richard W. Jenkins

                           ©14 Mar 2023

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Author's Note

SYNERGY
An original form created by Susan A. Capozzi
© April 2020
Two verse minimum, 6 lines per verse, in iambic tetrameter (8 iambic syllables).
Lines 2 and 5 break at the fourth syllable, swap, and repeat with each other,
creating the rhyme scheme …… as follows:.
xxxxxxxa
xxxBxxxA
xxxxxxxb
xxxxxxxa
xxxAxxxB
xxxxxxxb
(alignment, author's choice)

Artwork: Points of Departure by Andrei Petrov, Oil on Canvas - 2019)

Please, feel free to offer constructive critique.
✍

Reviews

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

This is a beautiful poem with vivid imagery and a hauntingly melancholic tone. I love the repetition of "until all cast" and "grow strong and tall, trees thrust from earth," which creates a sense of cyclical movement and the passage of time. The contrast between the natural world and the speaker's inner turmoil is also very effective, and the whispered prayer at the end adds a sense of hope and redemption. Overall, this is a really powerful and evocative piece of writing.

[Richard🖌]

I've fallen so far behind,

After my teaching retirement, being offline for so long, and not commenting on reviews, I'm making a quick thank you with a very grateful acknowledgment to everyone for their wonderful input and feedback.

Big smiles 'n hugs to one and all! ⁓ Richard🖌

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

Hellos, Richard,
I love the painting,
beautiful vonocaceite
the starting of a canvas
to an angel praying that raptures you
the encapulation of a viivd moment in time,
the Trojans, great read dear!
----1809 Black Plague December

[Richard🖌]

Thank you so much,

For selecting this piece to read, translate, and make comment on.

May your days smile bright 'n warm! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Shelley Warner]

All nature mourns when we mourn. Cool reference to the underground, a creative way of bringing up death.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Shelley,

I most humbly apologize for missing your thought-filled, uniquely You, translated review.

Bless you all your days! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Shelley Warner]

Bless you too Richard

[Lisasview]

I so love this form dear Richard and your words that show off this form so well!!
The image is perfect...
And, well the "story" is so so sad..
Ahh, the thoughts of parting and sharing.. such great images to ponder upon.
Loved every word!!!
Lisa

[Richard🖌]

Hey, Lisa!

I am so glad you found such favor in this excellent poetic form, the poem, and its lovely artwork.
Yes, it is a sad story poem, and how wonderful poetry fits so perfectly in all situations.
This poetry form is very challenging and one to look forward to learning for anyone seeking more advanced poetic studies.

That you love any part of this piece is sheer bliss.
Thank you so very-very much! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Lisasview]

You are more than welcome... I really enjoyed it.

Just sent in My cameo poem... Hope you have a chance to read it...
Lisa

[Richard🖌]

I get right to it---->

[Lisasview]

Ha ha...Okay, I am still at the computer!

[Susan 🦋]

What an honor it is to have you write in my original form! Even as, at times, parting hearts move on ... some things always linger. Perhaps it is all that is shared. Perfectly conveyed from the gorgeous artwork to the tender sadness spilling through the poem. Not sure if intentional, but How Parting Feels mimics Explaining to a Leaf... They both seem to play off one another. (or at least in my mind) Richard, thank you for writing such a beautifully touching poem. It simply shines, though ever sadly. You are a master at digging down deep and pulling out every buried emotion.

[Richard🖌]

It's a distinctly lasting honor I'm thrilled that we've shared, Susan 🥂

I agree, this piece is quite similar to "Explaining to a Leaf" in that they both pertain to parting/leaving in a lonely/melancholy tone and timbre … one, in a simple Free Verse format; this, in a wonderfully complex and challenging original/major poetic form.
earlier on, I did compose in your Synergy form, on a far different ambience and theme, if you recall. It's titled "Without You" https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/2461856/

You are most welcome, Susan, it was an honor and joy to compose another in your enthralling form. I wish more poetesses and poets would give it a try … it almost writes itself, once the ink begins to flow.

I guess my emotions have been closer to the surface of late.
Thank you for the kind compliment, Susan! ⁓ Richard🖌

[William Michael Reeves]

The trees need the light of loving song to sing tall. To grow note by note like rings of sound. I like the way you ask a question, then answer it in the end. And the emotional fall of the leaf in the beginning rises on hope through the rest of the poem to become complete in the composition. This reads like your natural talent ... strong!

[Richard🖌]

Such a very nice surprise, Dear Bill,

To receive your kindly spirited presence in homage to the sad poetic rendering in this uniquely original form from Susan's brightly creative soul.
It's wonderful you find favor in it, as I've thought about composing another Synergy … just waiting for a suitable thematic mood to come a'calling … something brighter?
Perhaps, you'd enjoy the challenge … I know Susan would be tickled pink if you do, as I would enjoy it, too.

Thank you, Syr, for your always welcome accolade! ⁓ Richard

[William Michael Reeves]

You're welcome Richard. I will give the form a go. I certainly wouldn't want to miss an opportunity to tickle a poetess pink! In fact, that's not a bad idea for a subject. I'll give her a read and get right on it. Thanks

[William Michael Reeves]

I looked for Susan Capozzi in the cafe. Couldn't find her. Does she use a pseudonym or is she found elsewhere? I could Google her name.

[Richard🖌]

Just Susan.
https://www.writerscafe.org/susancapozzi

[William Michael Reeves]

Thanks. I did see her then. Her profile said she was new and I made the assumption your Susan was a long time patron of writerscafe. Pretty amazing how many poets are here. Thanks Richard. (I've got two verses written of my synergy. Hoping to find some inspiration in her poetry)

[Richard🖌]

If anywhere, Bill,
That would surely be the place.

[William Michael Reeves]

Yes, I found inspiration there in her pages. As I always do in yours as well. I posted my Synergy poem a couple days ago if you'd like to read it.

[William Michael Reeves]

Ok. I see what I missed. The whole phrase swaps, not just the rhyme. Got it. I'm on it.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This form suits the feeling of parting very well. For me, there's a choppiness to it and a lack of fluidity. I don't know. I think I need to revisit perhaps and see if it reads differently tomorrow. Overall, the language is beautiful and the message clear. I certainly know how this feels, and I wish I did not. It's always a pleasure to see you, Richard.

[Richard🖌]

Diolch yn fawr, Linda Marie 🌾

Your reviews are always wonderfully encouraging, helpful, and gracious … this is why an inner smile appears when I find your name under one of my humble pieces.
Yes, the ambient feeling is poignant, but oh-so compelling to an artist's pen, eh?
I am so very grateful for your help on this one, too … I think the choppiness was as much due to the unevenness on both sides when centered as its diction.
So, I aligned it left and indented right, until it looked balanced … whatta ya think, now?

Your sentiments in seeing me are warmly mutual, Linda Maria.
A gentle wind your way⁓ Richard