Perverting the Narrative

A True Story

Visualize for a second that you're this real s**t-kicker-a*****e. With a constant half-smile, a smirk, like you're slow, or maybe told a joke that no one else heard.

For a second picture that you're me. You're cute with a bit of that Robert Downey Jr. charm, so girls look the other way. The same guys who can't stand you, call you "f****t" in their heads, keep you around just to leave things interesting.

And your only redeeming quality is your immense capacity for loving your girlfriend. Who might honestly be the only person you even like.

So despite how badly you want to enslave her into forever with you, when she gets an east coast scholarship, you let her go. Mostly because you think she can do better, know she can. This girl is so far out of your league, she makes you look 20,000 leagues under the sea. And being the real s**t-for-brains that you are, it never even occurs to you that this girl reciprocates your exact feelings.

So your one and only selfless act? It comes off as a slight.

The weeks go by and even though you try to stay in touch, you just cause her more pain. You get a call from her merry gang of Manhattanites, her new pals, all of whom are worried about her. So you fly your a*s to New York, you try and fix things, but there's now a rift, an endless disconnect and you leave things even worse for wear.

It's only a week before you get the only phone call that you'll never forget, your one-and-only downed a bottle of pills and never woke up again.

The line between guilt and grief is a tight-rope. Self-destruction was so always my thing.

This is my tell-all, the skeleton in my closet, my confession. I'm giving you the story I refused to give the judge. Tomorrow I go to jail for crashing my Honda Weapon-of-Mass-Destruction Accord, while drunk, almost killing another driver.

The thing they forget to mention about suicide, is that 90% of them end in ignominious failure. 

Reviews

[ANTO]

Another gritty vignette from the amazing pen of RileyRedding - no one does this like you my friend. Your penchant for that turn of phrase that make me sit up and go wtf is matched only by your ability to deliver same in a big basket of wtf.
Great stuff Riley

[RileyRedding]

Haha that's some high praise my friend!

[Silvanus Silvertung]

That was a delightful way to use the second person and pull us, your audience in. I'm going to steal it!

I'm not convinced I fully understand what the ending is trying to say though.

[RileyRedding]

The ending simply means that no matter which of us tried to end it suicide is a selfish numbers game with no winners and slaughtered winners. You can face the Minotaur win or lose but the maze is eternal.

[Amy R]

wow, this was quite a powerful write!
i absolutely enjoyed it.
great job!!

[MandaBear]

Wow this is simply amazing! You really know how to pull people into your work. Great job =)

[Oberon Duke]

Wow, that has a kick for sure. No punches pulled at all. The Honda Weapon-of-Mass-Destruction Accord managed to get a grin from me despite the darkness of the material. A darkly insightful bit of prose. Thanks for posting.

[burnhouse]

I simply adore the sweet mix of American Psycho, Chuck Palahniuk, and your own things in your writings.

[RileyRedding]

I greatly appreciate that.

[gabiaimee]

"This girl is so far out of your league, she makes you look 20,000 leagues under the sea." Very clever wording, my friend. Powerful write!

[RileyRedding]

Thank you so much.

[....................]

The lesson here is to speak honestly with those you love; tell them how you feel, no matter what the situation. It's admirable that the speaker of this piece wanted to 'let her go", to not hold her back, however, little did he realize that his unspoken words may have saved her. This is a good write.

[Jennesis]

Wow Riley, this is a tough one. The story was succinct and I heard how important she was to you. Sadly, it's true, guilt is a b***h to live with. I hope you are working on the good things you do, and forgiving yourself like you would want your friend to forgive themselves if they were in the same position.

[RileyRedding]

I appreciate that!

Thank you!

[DoormanDan]

For such a short story, it delivers one heck of a powerful message, and the way you ended it just added even more power to it. I didn't know what direction the story was going to go in until the end, and once I read the ending, the rest of the story made perfect sense. Great job :)

[Cassy Sandow]

Wow, powerful ending. Great piece of work as always Riley.