Freshwater Tears

Summer, 2013

Ancient waters flow

in sepia streams

beckoning under a deceptive sky

ravenous after having her fill

she seizes

swallows whole

the drifting deadwood 

adding freshwater tears 

to the flood

Author's Note

Searchers are looking for a teenage boy in Pennypack creek; this is the fourth such incident this summer.

Reviews

[Joyce S. Greene]

Your use of personification is very effective in this poem, Rita. Your words depict the greed of the river and the resulting consequence are left to the imagination of the reader. Excellently done!

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Joyce; I truly appreciate your review!

[Clockwork]

It has been a pretty rough summer in the creek thus far, that is for sure. I think you did a very good job of describing those currents, how the river swallowed those people, and how their loved ones reacted after it was said and done. The mention of those ancient sepia waters was a good starts, and the drifting deadwood with the tears to end the piece was a good touch.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Christian. Two of these incidents have occurred very close to my home; I see that creek every day, and watch as she swells with rain, and pray that the kids will be wiser this time...

[David Scott]

I like how this poem leads my mind more to the actual river than it does to the emotion. You give the water a persona I can relate to and nature gains new perspective when we can visualize her face better.
Well done!

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, David - the water must be respected. We can never underestimate her power...

[Marie]

Water is lovely, but craftily dangerous also...

[Rita L. Sev]

Yes, it is. This is what parents should be telling their children...

[Pryde Foltz]

Mother nature claims us all. I do hope they find the boy. Thoughtful, painful and beautiful write.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Pryde. They usually do find them... eventually.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this poem is very sad...and you made it universal...i feel like i have cried ancient tears..that have become fossilized in my memory.

really good work, Rita.

jacob

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Jacob... The creek has taken her share for thousands of years, I'm sure... but now we see it unfold on the local news, too often.

[SyberRose]

A lovely poem but such a sad event you speak of...very sad indeed. Rose

[Rita L. Sev]

Yes, it is... Thank you, Rose.

[Frieda P]

It's a stunning read Rita, then I arrived at your author's note and it hit hard....my heart aches, pen'd with tearful empathy.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you so much, Frieda... with each rain that swells the creek, we hold our breath hoping no more kids will challenge the water...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

After reading the author's note I got a chill re-reading the poem.

[Rita L. Sev]

It is such a sad, repeated story around here lately...

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. I love how you take real unfortunate incidents and make it into a poem of nature where it gives another dimension to these sad incidents. I like the tilte a lot and the poem...Splendid...:)

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Sami - Nature's power must always be respected...

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. So true.You are welcome...:)