Adventure Calls

      The floor creaked as the closet door opened, revealing Asher’s
two younger siblings huddled inside.
“What're you doing?” Asher asked, crossing his arms and raising his brow. “Aren’t you supposed to be cleaning your room?”

      “There’s something downstairs,” John whispered, glancing over Asher’s shoulder. Matthew frowned, his tiny face squeezed into an adorable scowl.
“Shh!” He snapped. “You’re being too loud!”
Asher smiled, “Not as loud as whatever that noise is downstairs.”

      "What if it's a monster eating our cookies!" Matthew cried.
“You’re crazy,” Asher laughed, grabbing John and pulling him towards the stairwell. “Come on, let’s see what’s down there. Are you coming, Matt?”
“No,” he snorted, standing up and exiting the closet. “I’m going to find Mom.”

      “She went on a walk with Dad, remember?” John explained, looking at Matthew as if he’d lost his mind. “And you're supposed to clean our room.”
“No,” Matthew cried. “She said we all had to clean our room.”
“Come on,” Asher sighed, plodding down the wooden stairwell.

      The three children crept down the stairs and through the hall, the noise coming from the library growing louder. With one step into the steamy room, the fog hung so thick it was nearly impossible to see. A wave of perspiration washed over their faces, and water filled their slippers, as if the boys had just stepped into a flowing stream deep in the Amazon. Several encyclopedias and dictionaries floated by, having made their escape from the bookshelves beyond.
“Uh oh…"

      Matthew’s mouth fell open, and Asher’s brow shot up in surprise. John gasped, watching a large novel float past. Matthew, intrigued by the strange scene before him, waded past his brothers to the library desk. There sat an open book on the damp wood, a steady stream of water trickling out from it.

      "Where did this come from?” he puzzled, taking the book into his little hands.

      In that very instant, the library completely disappeared, and all three brothers felt their feet pulled out from under them as they plunged downward into a large body of water. Seconds later, Asher, John and Matt found themselves struggling to stay afloat and gasping for air, until the river finally calmed and spat them out on the shore. As if in a dream, they opened their eyes to a garden covered in patches of beautiful moss, and surrounded by a grove of fruit trees and an assortment of captivating flowers.

      The boys slowly rose to their feet. A young lady clad in water lilies with blonde hair flowing over her shoulders peered nervously
about.

      “Who are you?” Matthew asked.
“Help me, please,” the woman pleaded, handing Asher a small stone. “You must close the portal, before anyone else can get through.”
“But"”
“My brother will be back soon, and you must retrieve the blue stone
before he returns!"

     “What?” John stammered, hanging his arms in bewilderment.
“Please,” the young woman continued urgently.

      “Ok,” Matthew shrugged, snatching stone from his older brother’s hand. "What do we do?"
"You must touch the portal with the Lockk stone and it will close. Everything will return to normal.”

      The bushes rustled as the young woman turned in terror, her face filling ever more with panic.
“Hurry! Close the portal, and bring back the blue stone!” she cried, mother and father entered with a look of curiosity as they beheld their three boys.

      “Why are your slippers wet?” their mother asked in bewilderment.

      “And why are you in the library with wet slippers!” their father continued. “Come on, get out of there before the floor gets all wet.”

      Asher, John, and Matt quickly obeyed, immensely confused as they
trekked to the bathroom. How had the floor dried so quickly, and how had their parents been so blind to the fact that a river of water had just moments ago flowed through the library? John peered over his shoulder.

      “What just happened?”

      “I don’t know,” Asher said, an adventurous grin spreading across his face. “But I’m going back.”

Author's Note

I'm open to all critiques! I'd love to hear your honest opinion.

---RbG

Reviews

[Amaya Sullivan]

Everything flows very well, and the way you capture the age of Matthew and John without actually specifying a number was nicely done.

I have to admit I am a slightly confused about the portal being shut before his brother comes back as you indicated earlier that they all were washed up on a shore. Unless one of them wondered off or something.

Overall, I really enjoyed this story. Books having an alternate world is a great mysterious plot and always makes an exciting story.

[RobbedByGreed]

Thank you for pointing that confusing bit out to me. I'll have to make sure everything lines up.
read moreThank you for pointing that confusing bit out to me. I'll have to make sure everything lines up.
Thanks!


---RbG

[A. Amos]

Good write and I totally enjoyed reading your tale, you are good story teller...

[Acucena G.]

That is good , I have to read twice because its just amazing, nicely written, I can't wait to read more of your work

[RobbedByGreed]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[Acucena G.]

My pleasure

[Joseph M. Shea]

So far so good. You got me thinking and wondering. I would have started this with more back ground on the family and the house. Sounds a little like The Wardrobe.
The position of the childen is key, as I see,Asher seem to be the oldest and I would change him to a her as it would add to the dinamices of the group. Maybe Ashely.
The boys younger, maybe 5 and 8. The house is a farm house way off from town and the childen have to make thier own fun. Maybe the father is a writer and needs the solitue of the country to write. Brings the imagination out in the childen. But your stuck with the sogy slippers. Good luck and keep working on it, Take care Joe

[RobbedByGreed]

Thank you! I actually thought about converting this to a novel, and you're perception of the story is amazing! The boys, actually, are based off of my younger brothers. And what's even more astounding, is that my sister and I call our oldest of the younger brothers Ashely! Funny.. ;)

Nevertheless, I'm glad you enjoyed it :) I hope to change this little bit into a best seller, but isn't that everyone's dream?

Thank you, again. You're feedback is appreciated!


---RbG

[Joseph M. Shea]

Your very welcome and if I can be more help, please ask as I would love to input more.Good luck with the story, Joe

[Marie]

THis is very good. I always enjoy fairy tales.
In the last line it should be "...Asher said, an edventurous grin speading across his face.

[RobbedByGreed]

Thank you! I appreciate the feedback :)


---RbG