Forever Dead

Forever dead

Deep in your heart

To ruin the soul

Just for the fun

Of that horned demon

Transforming,

Manipulating,

Ruining your love

The hate controls

The darkness works

Just to ruin what you hold dear 

To make the soul bad,

To tarnish the hope,

To ruin the good,

To taint the heart,

Tear it in two

And leave it askew 

Forever nothing 

And never more....

Author's Note

This again is not really a poem and it isn't my best peace ether.Please feel free to tell me how to make it better and the grammar mistakes. :)

Reviews

[jimmy]

i like it. don't change anything.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I really liked this poem a lot, i loved these lines in the beginning:
"Forever dead
Deep in your heart
To ruin the soul
Just for the fun"
as well as these lines in the end:
"Tear it in two
And leave it askew:
i love how those two lines seem to rhyme, playing with the words at the end...
and i love how you wrote "And never more...." spaced away from the rest of the poem structure. Really nice write, powerful emotion and a deep write. And it is indeed a poem. : )

[VelvetRosetta]

Its sad when dark thoughts control our hearts. Very deep piece.

[AndyJCash]

It's a good poem and especially loved the part where it repeats "To" at the start of each line towards the end :)

[stars are far]

this is nice
i enjoyed reading it :)

[Jeremy Baker]

I don't know why you think this is not a poem, nor why you think it is not 'good' - whatever that is. You explore and describe ideas with originality and style - I liked it!

[Daniel88Batson]

Reallt nice. But it needs punctuation.
I do lobve the one word lines. Transforming. Manipulating.
It;s a real nice piece.
remember poetry is to be read aloud, so that punctuation gives the reader an idea of character. =D
Your improving alot though =D
Nice works!

[Jupiter Jazz]

Good stuff, yah

[Dewella~Vintella]

No matter what you think, this is still a poem. You did a wonderful job with this. The flow was magical and lead you through a haunted house sort of feel, and yet held beauty at the same time. The last four lines really brings the piece together as a whole and packs a big punch of emotional value.

You have a wonderful way of words and stringing them along to create just the right emotion and vision that goes perfectly with the piece. Great job. :)

Vinny~

[Rae]

Creepy... I like it! Keep on writing!!