Anti Valentines Parade

Anti Valentines Parade

A Story by Roxie Martelli
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Its not a story, its actually an article for my school newspaper that I was assigned to do. Its supposed to be a satirical representation of valentines day from a bitter person. I got a kick out of writing it and took quotes from anti valentines day websi

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    Valentines Day-The bane of all Holidays. You could even say that it is the quintessential runt of the lunar cycle if you look at it enough. This piece is not aimed to be biased and bigotry, on the contrary, it's focus is to point to truth. That truth dear readers, is one that many may find not to their liking, but I'm not here to brush up to anyone persons liking, I am here to unveil the facts, and after all what is the world if we cannot share what we've learned to be truth?

    Lets start with the basics-Where we get the name. Valentines day. St. Valentin, the man who the holiday was named after, was a Roman Catholic who was martyr 'd during an era when, legend has it, the law forbade people to marry. Hence he was martyr 'd for trying to marry off people. The just government of Rome had outlawed it because they were fearing that their soldiers wouldn't leave home since they had wives that they didn't want to leave behind. "St." Valentin prolonged the suffering of people when being sent off to war. We see here that the very cornerstone on which the holiday was founded is that of bitter loss.

    Every time you say "Happy Valentines Day" reader, yes you, are harking back to an age of bitter loss. Really, what IS happy about valentines day as we know it today? A holiday of people turning into Ignorant obesity ridden puppies who, in reality, fail to focus on what "love" really even is? Instead of saying "Happy Valentines Day" you should REALLY say, "Happy unimaginative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day." Truly, that is the identity of what we find to be "Valentines Day"

    On the note of obesity, did you know that Chocolate and candy sales reach profits of $1,011 BILLION during Valentines? That's right, over a thousand billion dollars. Is that even fathomable to you? Can you IMAGINE the amount of candy that is, or how many mouths that's going into? Our problem of obesity is one that we struggle with on a daily basis as a country, then Valentines comes along and we're royally SCREWED when it comes to even thinking about loosing those extra pounds for health sake. We'd be doing good to keep out of the E.R's for health's sake according to those statistics...

    Another hit to the U.S. and really, around the world problems on Valentines Day, the Genesis of population control. Enough said.

    The overall commercialization is enough to make someone really nauseous, but then throw in the fact that it has overall defaced the purpose of love in this country? When, as Christians, we are called to Love our Brother , not just once a year, but daily. You can't turn love like that on and off!  

    Granted, Valentines Day is "for that special someone", but doesn't that just further alienate relationships by putting a strain on the other to come up with a present that will hopefully satiate the needs of our grubby hands and tummy's? Because in all reality, today, nothing says "I love you" like S****y lingerie and saturated fats! Plus, do we really want to participate in a "holiday" that is characterized by a naked chubby baby that flies? Buddha knows we already have enough weird critters and symbols characterizing our holidays. Why do we need a little "angel" *cough* demon*cough* flying around, conspiricising and shooting us through with his flaming arrows of DEATH?

 I present to you, DCHS, Valentines Day. The truth has been shed, I leave it to you to decide what side you will take. Hopefully it is not too late for you, if the flying pudge ball has already run you through with the arrow, I lament the loss of another for the frontline's of de-commercialization, and may God have mercy on your soul.

    

 

© 2009 Roxie Martelli


Author's Note

Roxie Martelli
I wrote this in an hour because my teacher kept getting on my case to get it done. XD;;

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Added on April 20, 2009

Author

Roxie Martelli
Roxie Martelli

Indio, CA



About
Name:Roxanne D.O.B-1/4/1992 Location: Southern California (Coachella Valley) Education: Currently a Senior in High School I really love writing, and am not quite sure what my style is at this po.. more..

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