I'd end it.

I'd end it,

I'd end the moment I see you,

The moment I feel blessed,

Merely by your presence.

I'd end it,

Your everlasting glow,

That deafening smile,

As I look into your eyes.

I'd stop it,

The heartbeat that goes

On and on, waiting to hear,

The echoed thumping from your chest.

I'd stop it,

The moment you flipped your hair,

Showing off your beautiful skin,

As casual as the morning.

And I'd burn it all,

If I knew it'd work,

If I could extinguish the spark,

That kept me alive, for you.

I'd end it. 

Reviews

[Diane]

I would say they "have it bad". I really enjoyed it.

[ranscan]

I like the form, it has a staccato nature to it, the spaces and strong statements present the material in a way that the reader is pulled down to the conclusion. The theme here is well developed, and there is a lovely turn at the end.
One of the challenges with this form is it requires the writer to keep to a strict formula or structure. The variance in the last stanza, the inclusion of the opening statement in the body breaks faith with the form. The strength of that line may also be more in keeping with the power of the other statement lines if "and" was removed.
This is still a quality piece, the author's choice to use this strict structure, the power of the disrupted flow, and the concise conversation contained within the form, each add to the whole.

[Abioduun]

As always, you got me..you do not have the usual passion tone that pisses me off about love poems...Your expressions are unique.
.Keep them coming

[=]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my pieces!

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for requesting I read this. I really loved it. Like I think William said a great use of repetition to drive the point home. Showing how a devoted love that is so strong, that the lover would give up anything they could to show how much they care, and how much they worship her. Any woman would love to see that kind of devotion.

Well done.

[=]

Always a pleasure to read one of your reviews, thank you so much as always!

[The Lazy Layman]

I really enjoy the somber nature of this poem. It's a beautiful verse and your motif is pleasant. Well done!

[=]

Ah, thankyou!

[Elmarie]

It reminded me of a river just flowing being drawn in one direction. Wonderfully emotional poem.

Blessings

El

[=]

As always, thankyou!

[Darian B.]

I really don't know what I can say that William didn't but I loved the piece. It's hard when you love someone and you don't want to. It feels like you will never love again and no one else is good enough, even though you know you can't be with the person for whatever reason. Really good read!

[=]

Thank you so much!

[William Liston]

Wow. The imagery in this really captured a female's beauty quite well. I also enjoyed your use of repetition in this piece, it really helped to emphasize the idea that you wish you could end your burning desire for her, and the second-to-last stanza really takes it home. It was as if you were in a hopeless situation where you hated to love someone, and your words really conveyed that feeling very well. I also admired this poem's simplicity; it really added a genuine touch, thus enhancing the somewhat sorrowful effect. I've been in similar situations before, so I thought this poem was very relatable. Great work.

-William Liston

[=]

Thank you so much for your review, you've captured the exact emotion and sentiment behind this piece.

Always a pleasure to hear from you!