Chapter 1: Training

Our first battle

   I had the gun in my hands and Stephanie was right beside me. We were hiding behind the truck and were being as quiet as we could. Her face grew stiff.
   "We are going to lose." She said. Suddenly someone from the other side of the truck said "I can see your feet."
   I held my gun up over the top of the truck and shot before I could see who it was. Probably because I didn't see him. After he fell I saw it was my friend Roy. I ran over to him, his side red from the shot.
   "I'm on your team!" he yelled. Suddenly there was a stinging on my left arm. I looked down and saw a green splotch.
   "Ha, ha, I got you!" Byron yelled happily. "Green team wins!"
   Everyone around to hear, blew the whistles from around their necks, so the people farther away would know that the game was over. I heard a whistle from farther away. Another whistle blew from overhead and I looked up to see Katherine flying down. I heard a voice in my head say "At least we tried, we were so close to winning too."
   I looked over at Jason who had a "we tried" look on his face.
   "Yeah, but you didn't." said Rosalie teasingly. She walked over to Jason and stuck out her hand. "Good game."
 "You too." He said out loud.
   Jordan started walking over, but tripped when Jeannette was suddenly right in front of her.
   "Hey, watch where your going!"
   "I'm sorry Jor-ahh!" Jeannette's shirt sleeve started on fire, but stopped when Byron ran over and muffled it out. Annoyed, Byron turned to Jordan and said "Keep your fire to yourself."
   Before Jordan could turn and walk away, a nut fell out of a tree and hit Jordan on the head. She turned toward Tanya and glared at her.
   "What?! I didn't do it!" Tanya hesitated then said, "But I did do this."
   While hiding behind Byron, Tanya picked up the nut. It hovered in the air for a couple seconds before it dropped down and hit Jordan on the head. She glared at Tanya again then walked away.
   "I'm going home." She yelled. Emma and Jacob stared to follow her. "Annabell, let's go!"
   "C-coming."
   "You don't have to follow her." said Tom who was currently sitting in a tree and had apparently been there the entire time. Annabell ignored him, and continued down the path in the direction the other three headed.
   "Good shot Tom." said Toby, smiling.
   "Um, guys, I think Jeannette might have to go to Dr. Smith for her burn." Kathrine said nervously.
   "I'll take her." said Tom, jumping out of the tree. "The rest of you can go home."
   "I'll go with you." I said
   "Thanks guys, but it doesn't really hurt that much."
   "Even if it doesn't, you should still get it looked at. Wouldn't you rather have no burn than even a little one?" said Stephanie.
   "Yeah, I guess you're right."
   We all started heading our different directions. Tom, Jeannette, and I headed for the infirmary. Dr. Smith must have seen us coming through the window because he opened the door as we got there, his red hair standing out from the rest of the surroundings.
   "What did you kids get into this time?" he said smiling.
   "Hey Ginger, Jordan burnt Jeannette's arm."
   "Tom, how many times have I told you not to call me Ginger?"
   "Sorry Ginger."
   "Whatever." Dr. Smith sighed. "Here, let's take a look at your arm." Dr. Smith held Jeannette's arm, up to his face and examined it.
   "This should only take about thirty seconds." He put his hand over the burn and held it there for thirty seconds. When he removed his hand the burn on Jeannette's arm was gone.
   "Thanks Doctor." said Jeannette
   "My pleasure."
   Suddenly we heard a sound we were hoping we would never have to hear. The bell that signifies that intruders are coming. We knew what we would have to do. We went outside, ready for battle.
  

 

Author's Note

This is my first book, please write what you want.

Reviews

[Quinn B]

Also Sarah you should read the first chapter I wrote far my book "The Journey"

[Quinn B]

I agree sarah that she could have worded "after he fell i saw who it was. It was my friend Roy differently. but instead of what you suggested "After he fell, I saw it was my friend Roy." I suggest she should have said After he fell, I saw who it was, my friend Roy

[RubberDucky]

that is part of the power thing. i didn't see him cuz he was blending in.

i wanted ppl to know that it was Jason who was talking.

[Call Me Crazy]

I apologize, because I am going to be a bit of an obnoxious person and comment on EVERYTHING. But I just want to help!

"I held my gun up over the top of the truck and shot before I could see who it was. Probably because I didn't see him."
I don't understand this. Is she saying that she shot probably because she didn't see him? You might want to reword this.

"After he fell I saw who it was. It was my friend Roy."
You could just say, 'After he fell, I saw it was my friend Roy.' instead of being slightly repetitive.

"Everyone around to hear, blew the whistles from around our necks, so the people farther away would know that the game was over."
I KNOW we've already talked about this. So all I'm going to say is, that first comma is really not needed, and the 'our' should be 'their'.

Isn't Jason saying we tried and having a we tried look on his face slightly redundant? Maybe reword that.

"Good game." "You too."
SPACING. That is a new line, remember?? Like THIS:
"Good game."
"You too."

Haha, Honestly I think I teleported in front of her on PURPOSE. :)

"Good shot Tom." said Toby smiling.
Comma after Toby.

"I'll take her." said Tom, jumping out of the tree. "The rest of you can go home."
This is perfect line! CORRECT quotations! (also, YAY JEZ, bein' awesome and kind)

"Yeah, i guess you're right."
Autumn. Really. Capital 'I'.

I like the ending! Also, the doctor. :)

Okay, sorry, I know I am mean, but I'm only critical to make you a better writer!